Moms Help 911 - Sleep Deprivation

Spending time with so many younger women, I know that this issue of "sleeplessness" is huge and so I'm reposting this series from an earlier time.

Most of the precious moms I know are sleep deprived. For various reasons, many of the older moms I know (myself included) also struggle with getting a good nights sleep.

If I don't have a good nights sleep, it's just plain difficult for me to function with my day to day home front responsibilities let alone care for loved ones adequately.

Making Sleep a Priority
When sleep, like time for self, isn't made a priority it'll be difficult for a woman to create sanctuary in her home. A mom can't even begin to think about organizing her linen closet or evaluate the needs in her kitchen when all she's had is little or interrupted sleep. And what wife can think about creating sanctuary in the master bedroom when sleep sounds more like a foreign language.

The Gift of Sleep
Sleep is such a gift. It's God's way to restore and heal our bodies and the effects from sleep deprivation can be serious. I've made a list of a few things that I know can cause sleep deprivation: new babies, children not sleeping, worry, anxiety, late night work, menopause, eating too much, alcohol, undealt with anger, unresolved resentment, fear, stressors not managed, continuous and unrelenting stress. I'm sure there are about fifty or so more.

Sleep Deprivation: Effects on Health and Relationships
Sleep deprivation can have serious effects on health and relationships - especially marriage. The body needs recovery time and relaxation time. The more adrenaline that is dumped, the more rest is needed so the body can heal itself.

It's a growing issue that demands attention, support and as much resolve as possible - especially for moms. Part 2 and Part 3

Moms Help 911 - Sleep Deprivation

http://lylahledner.blogspot.com/2009/09/moms-help-911-sleep-deprivation.html

3 Key Elements in Nurturing Your Children

Training children is something a mom never gets a break from. It's often from sun up until sun down and one of the aspects very important to training your children is to nurture them.

I believe there are three key elements important for a mom to do when she nurtures her children.

# 1. Food
A very important element in nurturing your children is to feed them well. Children need nutritious and regular meal and snack times to keep them happy and healthy. If your child seems extra cranky or incorrigible it could be because he's hungry or because he's had too much sugar?

# 2 Sleep
Everyone needs the right amount of sleep and children need more than we think. Making sleep and those "quiet times" important are a key way to nurture your children. Not putting little ones to bed at the same time (as best as possible) and early enough (to provide the ten plus hours of sleep needed each night) is simply asking for trouble during the day.

Poor sleep habits for adults and children are hard to break but oh so necessary to do. Nurture your little one by being the authority over them and give them sleep. I like to recommend that little ones be in bed by 7:30 each night.

Their bedrooms should have all stimulus removed except perhaps for some soft "night night" music. There be no TV and in my opinion there should not be any light left on IN the room. If you've done that, take steps to change that. If night fears are an issue, then try putting a light on in a hallway. And always pray with your child before putting them to bed.

For "night night" music all of our grand kids have used soft and soothing music to fall asleep with. Twila Paris had a great one called Bedtime Lullabies and Prayers.

Not only those regular sleep time habits need to be established, but also daily nap times and daily quiet times.

Quiet times are those scheduled alone room times. All my grand kids love their room time. It makes for some creative play – alone. It’s good for kids to learn to share with others and it’s equally good for them to learn how to play and be creative while being alone. A starting place for toddlers could be a good fifteen minutes. Set a timer so they know when the time is up.

# 3 Training
A child left to himself will be shame to his mother. A mother is disgraced by an undisciplined child. (Proverbs 29:15) Sensible children bring joy to their father: foolish children despise their mother (Proverbs 15: 20)

Like all of us, we need correction and children need a lot of that. Children are desperate to be trained. They're miserable and make everyone around them miserable without being trained.

When you think of training, don't think of it as simply addressing the outward behavior but think of it in regards to your little one's heart.

You're training their heart - to be obedient, respect authority, learn to care for and serve others and learn to be thankful. We were born with NONE OF THIS. It is a training process - a process of being pruned.

As a Nana, one thing I love to do is bring my little grandkiddo munchkins in the garden with me. There's lots of training and education that goes on there.

Moms - Be Encouraged
It's easy for moms to become overwhelmed, weary and discouraged in the constant and consistent training of children. Think of training as pruning and taking care of a little garden. Sometimes you pull the weeds, other times you plant seeds and on some days you simply water. And other days you simply stand back and enjoy the fruit.

What does a mom prune and train?
One of the first thing a mom prunes are bad attitudes. When a mom gently (not with an angry or a volume 3 voice) instructs her little one to do something – the command should be obeyed with a HAPPY attitude - IMMEDIATELY - and ALL THE WAY.

If a little one takes their sweet little ol' time to respond and obey it means they are deciding if what you've just said is to be obeyed.

Believe it or not - there's an attitude brewing and that's a bad one. If obedience isn't immediate with a happy heart and all the way, then a heart issue needs to be addressed.

Jesus addressed the Pharisees by saying that they all the right things on the outside but their hearts were evil.

Children won't automatically be happy with an instruction you give them. They have to be trained with love and gentleness and all throughout the day. Don't be alarmed or get too discouraged when it takes time to give that instruction, correction and subsequent consequences over and over in any given day. Little ones are known to have rebellious hearts (just like big people) and need to learn the joy of making good choices to receive a more delightful consequence.


What are other ways you nurture your children? What books do you read to your children? What does your "play time" look like with your child?

Related Posts
1. Plan and Prepare Well - Understand Your Margins
2. What Fathers Teach Their Children
3. Moms and Sleep Deprivation
4. My Garden Helper
5. Little Garden Girl & Her Mom

Related Helps
I love this book!

Don't Make Me Count to Three: a Mom's Look at Heart-Oriented Discipline

3 Key Elements in Nurturing Your Children

http://lylahledner.blogspot.com/2009/03/3-key-elements-in-nurturing-your.html

MOM Help 911 Part 3 - REST

MOM Help 911 Part 3 - REST

Moms are very amazing people and God has wired them to be in partnership with Him to grow little people into big people who become a productive and positive part of society and who will be salt and light for the sake of His Kingdom.

This post has been difficult for me to write and I’ve wrestled with how to communicate an important issue that moms must model - REST.

Seems like an oxymoron doesn’t it – MOMS and REST. I can almost hear some little snickers.

In my wrestling, last night I actually dreamt of a particular season in my life – back in the 80’s – where I – as a single mom – experienced the REST that I’ll hoping to use to get my point across. So, bear with me. I know my girls will recall this time.

First, a MOM must model RESPECT and if she grasps God’s grace, she must learn to model REST too.

A Season of Learning to REST
In the 80’s, I became a single mother because the man I’d married to decided he did not want to be a husband or a father and the world offered more options (women, drugs and parties).

In that season, I was living in north Texas and for some reason, God placed the girls and I out in the county, in a little run down home surrounded by the gold of wheat fields along with a menagerie of a few dairy goats, turkeys, chickens and cats for the rats. Oh, I hate mice and rats!

In that day, I putzed around in a little beat up army green colored Toyota, had no cell phone, no computer, no clothes dryer and a wood stove I stoked to warm us from those blistering cold north winter winds that would unashamedly whip through our little abode.

I have always been a hard worker. I learned hard work ethics from watching my grandfather, and my parents. Believe it or not hard work and joy go together. Of course, I still work hard, but I’ll tell you there’s NOTHING like the hard work on a little farm – milking goats, tending chickens, fixing fences, kidding goats, killing rats, and being mom to two little girls – single-handed, hanging laundry in the dead of winter to freeze dry and working a part-time job AND baking and selling the best wheat bread (ever) to earn a few extra dollars. Now, that’s hard work!

Work never seemed to end and it was during one of the hardest times of my life that I learned the rhythm of life with work 6 and rest 1 and I learned what it meant to daily have that quiet time with Jesus and to entwine my heart with His for the REST of day.

The work 6 and rest 1 was God’s idea, you know?

It was in those times of hard work and attending to the affairs of my home and making that my priority that I felt closest to Jesus. It was in those times that I learned to listen to Him, to pray and plan and hear His heart about the things that concerned Him about me.

My body, soul and spirit restored in the REST. My daily work was good because my heart was entwined with His.

Today's Moms have No REST
I long for today’s moms to understand this REST, and the problem I see is that they seem too busy. They don’t seem as focused as they could be in to attending their homes. They seem so distracted by too much outside their home, letting too much of what they’re distracted with on the outside come in – to the inside.

The home, which should be sanctuary, is not the Simple Home, but the chaotic, cluttered and home of constant – action. There is no REST.

When a mom isn’t at REST she influences the rest of her family (pun intended). She’s the light and life in her home and I have to say that the spirit (tone) of the home will often point to the mom.

The underlying, subtle mental mom mantra says: there is so much external stimulus nagging at my soul of what I could do, get to do, need to do, should do and better hurry up and do.

Adrenaline burn out!

Multi-Tasking moms
I wonder sometimes if all these modern conveniences (cell phones, computers, all our helps in the kitchen – which I am very thankful for) that are supposed to make a moms work easier actually require her to do more multi-tasking?

I admit that I can fall prey to thinking I can do more because I can start the laundry while I’m talking on the phone while I’m making the bed while I’m stirring the oatmeal while I’m jotting down some notes of what I need at the store while I’m checking my email. And, this is the Simple Home?


But – we don’t really want that REST, do we?
Get this – two places, God says (Isaiah 28:10) This is the RESTING place, let the weary rest and this is the place of repose – but they would not listen.

And, here in 30:15, In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it.

Jesus also addresses this rest and says in Mathew 11: 28, Come to me all you who are weary and burdened (burned out) and I will give you REST . . . learn from Me. . . .

How does a mom get that REST?
It requires a mental system overhaul. It requires choosing to let many, unnecessary things go – the better for the best. It requires a mom learning the word NO and actually saying the word NO. It requires a mom to work hard for 6 and rest for 1 and it requires her to change her lifestyle and learn from the P31 Woman who made it a priority to attend to the affairs of her home.

What does the life of a mom modeling REST look like?
When a mom learns the art of daily stoking the internal fire and when she learns how to find that daily place of quiet and REST in entwining her heart with Jesus and being devoted to Him and His ways and when she understand how to adore her husband she’ll find she’s less distracted by things that won’t really matter for eternity.

REST is evident in the life of a mom who lives the simple life of order and balance and self-discipline. She attends to the affairs of her home first and she guards what comes into her home.

Today’s REST assignment:
First thing:
Go and clean the key working center in your home – your kitchen. Put your favorite CD of music on, don’t touch the phone; or look at the computer until it’s ALL done…spic and span and shining all over. Don’t get distracted by anything – set your little ones down with some play projects (not TV) and tell them that mommy’s working hard so she can REST – with them. Model for them this kind of REST.

Then and only then – when you’re all finished – make yourself a cup of coffee or tea and go REST – sit down with your children – read them a book, play blocks or some other creative thing. Model RESTED soul for them.

Next thing:
Plan the evening dinner. Start the evening dinner – with whatever you have – don’t leave your home and go buy something you forgot to buy the other day because you didn’t have a menu or a list – it’s OK – you’ll learn to do that later. Just stay home-and ask God to help you be creative with the evening meal in using what you have, and thank Him for His grace and goodness to you.

May you find yourself at REST today.

Need to catch up on MOMS Help 911? Here's Part 1 and Part 2 and Baby Steps to Becoming a Purposeful Home Keeper has a great recap here. And, after you get your kitchen in order - and have a REST moment, join me in Spain - I'm here another week. If you are hungry and don't have breakfast planned - try these wonderful pancakes!

MOM Help 911 Part 3 - REST

http://lylahledner.blogspot.com/2008/07/mom-help-911-part-3-rest.html

MOMS Help 911 - Part 9 - Sleep Deprivation (3)

Part of life is learning how to become a good manager of all that God gives us. We manage ourselves (self-control). We manage our stuff (I love to declutter and toss so I have less of that stuff to manage). We manage our homes by becoming on-purpose home keepers. We manage our finances - becoming good givers, good savers and good stewards making the best of what we have.

We manage our time and our margins. We manage our health. We also manage our relationships - giving and receiving and developing relationships that are biblically based on doing them God's way - not our way.

I think you get my point. We are all called to manage and in the end we want the "well done good and faithful (manager)" word from God.

Our stress load is something else we manage. As a mater of fact managing stress is a subject that perks up every woman's ears. I think it's fair to say that we all want to find the Ten Keys to Manage Stress.

Stress (according to Dr. Schwarzbein, author of the Schwarzbein Principle) causes our body to use up its biochemicals-but this is not always bad. Our body needs to use them so that we can accomplish our daily activities. So, we don't want to eliminate all stress from our life, we just need to learn to manage the stress better so we can keep our body from using up biochemicals faster than it can rebuild them. If we don't, we'll damage our metabolism (weight gain and other symptoms) that lead to accelerated metabolic aging, degenerative diseases and earlier death.

Stress comes in two forms: the immediate life-threatening kind and the chronic non-life threatening kind. Today, the stressors that we generally encounter are the day to day kinds that seem chip away at us. Those stressors look like being busy all day with what Dr. Schwarzbein calls "self-imposed" tasks.

Years ago I took a human anatomy and physiology class (in my pursuit to become a nurse) and I remember being amazed at how intricately God put out bodies together. The study on hormones was and still is (especially since going through the Big M - menopause) to understand.

God gave us two types of major hormones that help us deal with stress. Our body secretes adrenaline and cortisol. If stress is acute these hormones can save our lives. However is the stress is non life-threatening and chronic, these same hormones (according to Dr. Schwarzbein) can shorten our life by causing our bodies to use up its biochemicals faster. Not good.

Dr. Schwarzbein, who is an endocrinologist is Santa Barbara, CA., says that one of the most important things for all of us to do is to learn how to manage our personal stress - so that we can counterbalance the potentially high secretions (caused by lots of stress) of these hormones. How do we do that? By eliminating the stress that caused them to be high in the first place.

Downtime is key. When the brain is working overtime, so are the major stress hormones. Dr. Schwarzbein says that when the brain is at rest it is not sending the stress signals to your adrenal glands and this allows them time to heal. She describes downtime as the process of dealing with stress. Downtime is when your brain is not being bombarded by 1,001 different thoughts or tasks.

How hard is that for a wife or mother today? Just think about the stimulus that confronts you in an hours time. Just look at your daily schedule and the needs of your family and any other pressures that surround you. And, yet, downtime is critical because it's one of the times that our brains rests and rebuilds neurotransmitters.

More next time, I'm going to go get some downtime in. The first of this Mom's Help Series is here.

MOMS Help 911 - Part 9 - Sleep Deprivation (3)

http://lylahledner.blogspot.com/2008/12/moms-help-911-part-9-sleep-deprivation.html

MOMS Help 911 - Part 8 - Sleep Deprivation (2)

Sleep is a gift and moms often seem to be on the short end of the gift. Stress, overloaded margins, poor eating habits, lack of physical exercise are among the culprits to cause sleepless nights.

I wonder sometimes if all our modern conveniences and hectic over scheduled calendars don't add tremendously to the issues we're trying to resolve in our life. If sleep deprivation is something you struggle with and I'm sure it is . . . consider some other reasons you might be having those sleepless nights taken from here.





Cell Phones Have Severe Effect on Sleep

Research raises new concerns about the effects of mobile devices. Mobile phones severely disrupt sleep patterns, according to scientific research into their impact on human rest, funded by the Mobile Manufacturers Association. The research undertaken by the Electromagnetic Academy based at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, in the United States, exposed 71 men and women, aged between 18 and 45, to mobile phone radiation as they prepared to sleep.

According to the study, monitoring under laboratory conditions showed the initial ‘light’ phases of sleep in the subjects were affected. In addition, “exposure to 884 MHz wireless signals, components of sleep, believed to be important for recovery from daily wear and tear, are adversely affected.”

The research also found that those exposed to mobile phones during their sleep appear to have more headaches, than those not exposed. The findings coincide with calls from UK company Exradia, manufacturers of the first device proven to neutralize potentially dangerous mobile phone radiation, for more government research into the health issues being raised.

David Schick, Exradia chief executive, said, “This study is yet another example of how using mobile phones can have a detrimental effect on humans. It is critical that the UK Government now undertakes a formal public inquiry into this issue.”

Photo from Countryliving.com

MOMS Help 911 - Part 8 - Sleep Deprivation (2)

http://lylahledner.blogspot.com/2008/12/moms-help-911-part-8-sleep-deprivation.html

MOMS Help 911 - Part 7 - Sleep Deprivation

Most of the precious moms I know are sleep deprived. For various reasons, many of the older moms I know (myself included) also struggle with getting a good nights sleep.

If I don't have a good nights sleep, it's just plain difficult for me to function with my day to day home front responsibilities let alone care for loved ones adequately.

Making Sleep a Priority
When sleep, like time for self, isn't made a priority it'll be difficult for a woman to create sanctuary in her home. A mom can't even begin to think about organizing her linen closet or evaluate the needs in her kitchen when all she's had is little or interrupted sleep. And what wife can think about creating sanctuary in the master bedroom when sleep sounds more like a foreign language.

The Gift of Sleep
Sleep is such a gift. It's God's way to restore and heal our bodies and the effects from sleep deprivation can be serious. I've made a list of a few things that I know can cause sleep deprivation: new babies, children not sleeping, worry, anxiety, late night work, menopause, eating too much, alcohol, undealt with anger, unresolved resentment, fear, stressors not managed, continuous and unrelenting stress. I'm sure there are about fifty or so more.

Sleep Deprivation: Effects on Health and Relationships
Sleep deprivation can have serious effects on health and relationships - especially marriage. The body needs recovery time and relaxation time. The more adrenaline that is dumped, the more rest is needed so the body can heal itself.

It's a growing issue that demands attention, support and as much resolve as possible - especially for moms. More later on this subject.

MOMS Help 911 - Part 7 - Sleep Deprivation

http://lylahledner.blogspot.com/2008/12/moms-help-911-part-7-sleep-deprivation.html

MOMS Help 911 - sweet or stinky fruit?

God loves children and he makes a man and a woman “one” so that they can raise Godly children according to Malachi 2: 15 Children are an inheritance of God and called arrows. Children have a special place in God’s heart and he places the responsibility on the parents (man and woman) to raise godly children – that will be productive adults who give back to society – rather than take away from it. Parents are to raise godly children who are respectful to authority, know God and learn to serve and care for others.

Did you know that children are also called fruit? They are called the “fruit” of the womb. In order for fruit to become sweet fruit – the tree on which the fruit grows must be watered, fertilized and pruned otherwise the fruit will become bitter and fall of the tree. Jesus actually cursed a fig tree because it didn’t have fruit. Part of being fruitful and having godly fruit is for parents to be responsible to partner together to train and grow their children to become good and sweet fruit.
What's your fruit look like?
Fortunately or unfortunately, we as parents produce what we are. If our fruit is angry and bitter, that’s what we’ll produce. If our fruit is lazy and undisciplined – that’s what we’ll produce. If our fruit is shame based - that's what we'll produce. If our fruit has an attitude that ‘others owe me’ then that’s what we’ll produce in our children.

Parent's parenting roles.
A husband and a wife have different roles in parenting children and if each partner does their assigned role, it makes for some sweet fruit.

If moms an ‘at home’ mom, then she’s the one to spend the most hours with her little fruit. It’s her job to provide the main nurturing during those day time hours. When a mom does this - her part - she blesses her husband and provides a platform for him to get vision, clarify vision and run with the vision for his family. If she doesn't - it'll just cloud his vision.

Nurture
Nurture is a word I love. It means to provide that which is necessary for life and growth. That’s what moms do. They are to nurture.

Unfortunately, many moms didn’t receive that nurture, and they struggle giving what they didn’t receive.

With God all things are possible. He sets up a system called Titus 2 to help moms be nurtured by older moms who are supposed to teach them how to train their children. It’s like the “trainer” training the “trainer.” That system makes cause for NO excuses.

Can you imagine standing before God on That Day and he says, “You weren’t fruitful with the fruit I'd given you. You’re little fruits became bitter because you didn’t nurture them or take care of them properly.” And you say, “Gosh, God . . . but, I didn’t know how. I never was nurtured.”

The Big Buzzer sounds and you’re busted. Regret sets in and you know you can’t give an excuse. You’re still responsible to bear fruit with the fruit God gives you.

On that note – you younger moms – go find an older mom who is willing to Titus 2 You and train you how to train your children - not do your job for you but come along side you as you do your job.

Four elements of NURTURE
What’s involved with NURTURE? Four main elements are woven into a mom who nurtures.

The first one is FOOD. If children aren’t fed (planned, prepared) regular nutritious meals then you’re not nurturing them - nor can you. Little ones have to eat on a regular basis. They get cranky and incorrigible if not nurtured this way. It’s just not fair.

The next nurturing element is SLEEP and QUIET TIMES. Little ones need consistent and regularly scheduled – the same schedule time of sleep. They need to go to bed (with rare exceptions) at the same time every night.

Rooms should have NO stimulus like TV and in my opinion, there should be no light left on IN the room. If night fears are an issue, then try putting a light on in a hallway. Here’s where I can veer off – all of our grand kids used soft and soothing music to fall asleep with. Twila Parris had a great one called Bedtime Lullabies and Prayers. My husband’s music is one that our granddaughter Ivana uses now. We’ve also used fans in the bedrooms to create some white noise for sleep. That’s helped for some of them.

Not only sleep time needs to be established, but also daily nap times and daily quiet times. Quiet times are those scheduled “alone room times.” All my grand kids love their room time. It makes for some creative play – alone. It’s good for kids to learn to share with others and it’s equally good for them to learn how to play and be creative while being alone. A starting place for toddlers could be a good fifteen minutes. Set a timer so they know when the time is up.

TRAINING is the next element of nurturing. Fruit won’t become sweet if left to itself. It must be pruned. If you think of training - don't think of it as the outward behavior - think of it in regards to your little one's heart. You're training their heart - to be obedient, respect authority, learn to care for and serve others and learn to be thankful. We were born with NONE OF THIS. It is a training process - a process of being pruned.

What does a mom prune? One of the first thing a mom prunes are bad attitudes. When a mom gently (not with an angry or volume 3 voice) instructs her little one to do something – the command should be obeyed with a HAPPY attitude - IMMEDIATELY - and ALL THE WAY.

If a little one takes their sweet little time to respond and obey it means they are deciding if what you've just said is to be obeyed. That's a bad attitude. It's not an obedient heart - which is what you're training - remember - you're training heart issues - not outward behavior. Remember the Pharisees? Jesus said they did all the right things on the outside but their hearts were evil.

Kid’s don’t automatically do this. They have to be trained – often, with love and gentleness and all throughout the day. It could take about fifteen times (in a day) of giving an instruction (that won’t be obeyed) with a subsequent consequence before the little rebellious heart gets it and learns to make a choice to receive a better consequence.

Moms - a special note here: don't become overly weary in the constant training of your children. You prune some, you water some and you fertilize some. And, when you see positive responses in your children - smother them with affirmation. Can't give too much of that.

Another thing moms train is how to share with others and how to be responsible. – Training to be responsible looks like cleaning up and picking up toys. If a child gets it out the child puts it back. A good rule is to get out one toy at a time. Too many toys can be a distraction and over stimulating. Think of "play time with toys" as another training opportunity.

Also - more times than not - parental training is caught rather than taught. What you do speaks louder than what you say.

Another realm of responsibility is to teach children to respect other people's personal things. An example of this is when my grand kids come to our home - they know they are to sit on furniture and not stand or jump on it. Teach your little ones to not touch other peoples stuff - it's teaching them respect. Teach them to sit on the sofa - not jump on the sofa.

The value of hard work must be instilled in children in order for them to become sweet fruit. I learned hard work from my grandfather, my dad and my mom. Work hard then play.


I’m a stickler about teaching that to children. If they don’t learn to work hard, they’ll grow up with this stinkin’ spirit of entitlement that so many young people have today. It’s one of the values that’s ruining our country. It’s the “you owe me” spirit and it’s destructive. I'm thankful that our daughters (and their husbands) teach their children the value of hard work.

Another element of training is to teach your children to be thankful. An unthankful kid/adult can't know God. If you don't show or give thanks - then your children won't either. It's almost as if being thankful is a pre-curser to 'feeling' God's love. It does hand in hand.

Train your children to be a joy
On another note of training your children: I’ve told both our girls, “Train your children so it’s a joy for me to be with them.”

There’s nothing worse than being around little ones who are untrained and who don’t know NO means NO. There’s nothing worse than being around kids who constantly whine or throw a temper tantrum and don't listen to your instruction. If you want others moms to help with your kids, train them so it’s a joy and not a burden they end up saying NO to.

The fourth element of nurturing is LOVE. Love must be sandwiched in through everything. LOVE is the bread (of the sandwich) and the other elements are what’s inside the sandwich.

My sweet sister in law recently told me about a book she’s reading where the author says that discipline training without love = rebellion. That’s so true.

Be fruitful - grow sweet fruit
God says that he makes a man and a woman one so that they can produce (bear the fruit) of godly children. I got to thinking about this in regards to the be fruitful and multiply part in the first book of the Bible and the last book of the Bible. They are like book ends. They work together. What good is it if you have a bunch of fruit that's spoiled and what good is it if you have a bunch of fruit that's sweet?

What's cool is that so many books and verses in between the book ends give specific instruction on how to bear and grow good and godly, sweet fruit.

What kind of fruit are you bearing? To answer that - look at your own first.

MOMS Help 911 - sweet or stinky fruit?

http://lylahledner.blogspot.com/2008/09/moms-help-911-sweet-or-stinky-fruit.html

MOM Help 911 - Potting Training

Potting training a toddler can be a mom's most fun life challenge as she trains her children. Some little ones just seem to "get it" and with others it's a battle. As I began to research for this subject, I've been astounded at the different ideas, tools, chart and books available for moms today.

This one - Everyone Poops just makes me laugh.

My oldest was so smart. She could recognize her alphabets as an eighteen month old (yes, I read continually and talked about those alphabets) and understood more of life that I did. Because she was so smart, I assumed she'd get the potty thing too. Not. My efforts at trying every thing were fruitless. This child was going to go when she was good and ready and that was when she was two and a half +.

Her sister, on the other hand, surprised me. I can remember the day, as an eighteen month old, when she came up to me, grabbed my skirt and said, "Potty." I didn't believe her. Just wasn't possible. This child insisted. It came to me, "HMMM. . . what if?" And, the what if, proved to be correct. She did - and even through the night from that point on. I smiled. Life was good.

Today, moms have access to lots of different tools like activity books and charts, stickers, potty training equipment and books on potty training, stories to read your little about going potty.

Both Dora and Caillou have potty books. This one is almost my favorite and this one The Diaper Free Baby I find very interesting.

One thing I know is that moms are always looking for another moms tips of what worked and what didn't when it comes to training toddlers to "go potty." So, how about it moms - pass on your advice. Let's hear your potty training story. What worked and what didn't work. Did you read a book that helped? Did you use a bribe that worked? Did you use charts or stickers? What was your favorite book?

MOM Help 911 - Potting Training

http://lylahledner.blogspot.com/2008/08/mom-help-911-potting-training.html

MOM Help 911 - Part 7 - sleep deprivation

I love helping MOMS and here's another MOMS HELP 911 and the first one starts here.

Most of the precious moms I know are sleep deprived. Many of the older gals I hang out with also struggle with getting a good nights sleep. And, I know that it's just plain tough for a woman to function in the day to day home front responsibilities without good sleep. Sleep like time for self is often a longing unmet.

It's surely difficult for a woman to create sanctuary in her home when she hasn't slept. I acknowledge that a mom can't even begin to think about organizing her linen closet or evalute the needs in her kitchen when she hasn't had uninterrupted sleep. And what wife can think about creating sanctuary in the master bedroom when sleep sounds more like a foreign language? How can even think about what margins I need to fill if I haven't had good sleep?

Sleep is such a gift. It's God's way to restore and heal our bodies and effects from sleep deprivation can be serious. I made up a list of a few of the things that I know can cause sleep deprivation: new babies, children not sleeping, worry, anxiety, late night work, menopause, eating too much, alcohol, undealt with anger, unresolved resentment, fear, stressors not managed, continuous and unrelenting stress. I'm sure there are about fifty or so more.

Sleep deprivation can have serious effects on health and relationships - especially marriage. The body needs recovery time and relaxation time. The more adrenaline that is dumped, the more rest is needed so the body can heal itself.

It's a growing issue that demands attention, support and as much resolve as possible - especially for moms.

My dad sent me this article. It has to do with cell phones and the effects they can have on sleep. Because I wanted to write something on moms and sleep deprivation, I thought quoting this article here would fit in great.

Cell Phones Have Severe Effect on Sleep Research raises new concerns about the effects of mobile devices. Mobile phones severely disrupt sleep patterns, according to scientific research into their impact on human rest, funded by the Mobile Manufacturers Association. The research undertaken by the Electromagnetic Academy based at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, in the United States, exposed 71 men and women, aged between 18 and 45, to mobile phone radiation as they prepared to sleep.

According to the study, monitoring under laboratory conditions showed the initial ‘light’ phases of sleep in the subjects were affected. In addition, “exposure to 884 MHz wireless signals, components of sleep, believed to be important for recovery from daily wear and tear, are adversely affected.”

The research also found that those exposed to mobile phones during their sleep appear to have more headaches, than those not exposed. The findings coincide with calls from UK company Exradia, manufacturers of the first device proven to neutralize potentially dangerous mobile phone radiation, for more government research into the health issues being raised.

David Schick, Exradia chief executive, said, “This study is yet another example of how using mobile phones can have a detrimental effect on humans. It is critical that the UK Government now undertakes a formal public inquiry into this issue.” France recently became the latest country to advise against excessive use of mobile phones, particularly by children. Other countries who’ve issued similar advice include Sweden, the UK, Israel and India. end of quote

I wonder sometimes if all our modern conveniences and hectic over scheduled calendars don't add to the issues we're trying to resolve in our life. If sleep deprivation is something you struggle with and I'm sure it is . . . consider the effects your cell phone might have.

MOM Help 911 - Part 7 - sleep deprivation

http://lylahledner.blogspot.com/2008/08/mom-help-911-part-7-sleep-deprivation.html

MOMS Help 911 - getting little ones to eat veggies

Kirstie is one of my friends from Basque Country - San Sebastian, Spain. I've had the privilege of spending time with this mom and on my last trip, she shared a new thing they've done with Mia that IS working. I begged her - pleased with her to write her story as I had this strong hunch that many other moms were in this same MOM HELP 911 situation. Kirstie is an American from the south married to a gentle French guy (a chiropractor) and living in Spain. She and our daughter Jenni have had times to share some play dates.

Hello, my name is Kirstie and Lylah has asked me to guest a blog about our experiences at the family table. Specifically how we engineered an environment conducive to a 3 year old eating all her vegetables.

The back story is that meal time in our house had become a nightmare. Nearly every lunch and dinner erupted into a scene from that Super Nanny show. (Which I've seen twice.) Our house was really affected by this, my husband dreaded coming home nervous awaiting a painful experience at our table.

My heart broke to watch his patient temperament stretched thin after a long day helping other people at his Chiropractic office. We reached the breaking point though when my husband, who typically comes home for lunch, left the apartment before we'd finished eating because of this battle of wills.

It was a horrible day and after the dust had settled with our daughter asleep we both said "This has to change". But what do you do when a 3 year old won't eat? Doesn't want to finish their vegetables?

There were times we said 3 more bites and you're done just to end the struggle. Mostly she wasn't eating her nutritious food and successfully getting a treat inducing pre bed hunger cries.

My husband and I sat down for about an hour and said what works for our family? We've had a few blissful mealtimes so what was different on those days? And we thought out a plan that's worked for our family going on two months. It works in restaurants and even at Grandma's house. Here's what we figured out.

First this new schedule and plan is posted visibly in our kitchen because we parents had a new routine. Rarely is the situation just fueled by a child; environment does affect outcome. We aimed for creating a meal time with consistency.

1. First on the list: set times for eating. We actually wrote down 1 pm for lunch and 7:45 for dinner. So now Mom has her task laid out. Before this our food was hitting the table with nearly 30 minutes difference every day, this inconsistency was a biggie.

2. We gave Mia a task, a job, to set her brain into table mode. Ten minutes before we sit down she sets the napkins out. It's a cue to her body and her mind and of course she's learning to work. She also helps make the meal.

3. She had been asking to hold hands, it got that bad, for emotional support to eat. That was on the list "No holding hands at the table." We were in a bad way, folks.

3. For dessert to be an option the meal must be finished. Now this will likely get some outcry so let me move on to the next point.

4. Mia size portions. That's my daughter's name and it's on the board for me to remember ; )

We have a partitioned plate so she's never getting too much food and also most mom's know how much their child can actually eat. We never require her to finish all her "meat" but veggies are never optional. She always has a tiny starter salad and "meat", vegetable and starch on her main plate. New foods have a one bite rule.

5. We know what's for dessert. Sometimes it's fruit with a little whipped cream or two tic-tacs but it's a motivator.

6. Here comes the rewards. Playtime with Daddy while mom cleans up. If she has received two smiley faces that day then she gets 10-15 minutes of a video and a story. If not it's only books, still not a bad deal. In addition to these things that we found list worthy we've created a chart with seven days of the week divided by lunch and dinner. If she eats her meal we draw a smiley face and if her attitude and table manners are proper she gets a round sticker. Whining means no sticker, more than one reminder of "it's time to eat" means no sticker.

We started with 3 reminders. This is for every meal. She can lose one sticker and still receive a special sticker for her collection book but to get a bigger prize she has to get all the stickers.

In eight weeks, it's happened twice. Still the real prize for us has been meal time itself. We went from gritting our teeth to anticipating casual conversation between the three of us. We are all more relaxed.

Some people are automatically not ok with making their child "finish the plate" but that's one of our components. I keep portions on the skimpy side as seconds are available and that divided plate makes it easy to see what is really on there. I've seen her polish off green beans, broccoli, steamed carrots because it's part of the deal. She's seen it set before and said I don't want "vegetable" and then still finished it with minor complaint.

By working in some legality we took out the ability for our daughter to "bargain" her vegetables. Our hearts were in the creation of this plan but if we flip flopped about the rules it wouldn't work! She would go straight back to bargaining. So are we really this fun, you might think.

The other night Mia really didn't want a normal meal and we allowed her to eat a rice cake with peanut butter and apple. It was a special option because kids are still kids. I had asked what she wanted and that was her response. Dad ok'd it and she was so happy and finished it all.

At restaurants the servings can be huge. We never require something like french fries to be finished, we usually see if there is another option, but again the rules apply. She knows we'll fill in the meal chart at home and we section off her required eating to gain access to dessert and get a smiley face. Or this weekend for example we went to a typical Spanish fish restaurant that doesn't really offer things for kids. Our daughter ate some bread, half a bowl of fish soup, a calamari, 2 bites of grilled sardine and a tiny apple and almonds we brought for her, all the while looking forward to sorbet. She got her smiley and sticker and we had a great time.

On weekends I can vary meal times a little. If it's going to be later than usual we give Mia some fruit and I count this towards meal time portions.

Snacking is something that can ruin little appetites make sure their tummy is hungry when sitting down to eat. What's interesting is after sharing this information with my mom she said it's similar to what they do at the group home where she works with severely autistic and other developmentally disabled people. It's really all about structure.

So, hopefully this helps some harried mom gain a little perspective. I didn't read volumes on this subject, I'm not a teacher by trade I am just a mom and housewife. I credit the Lord for His wisdom and how He answered my heart's prayer. We got fellowship back to our table and my kid is growing like a rose.

MOMS Help 911 - getting little ones to eat veggies

http://lylahledner.blogspot.com/2008/08/moms-help-911-getting-little-ones-to.html

MOM Help 911 - Part 6

MOMS Help 911 - another in a mini series. For more reading go here.

If there were just one thing that I would encourage moms to do – it would be to teach (educate, instruct, school, tutor, edify) their children the truth about God and His law.

Fathers Too
Yes, according to the Old Testament, it’s the Father that is to teach their child all along the way and Proverbs gives tons of examples of exactly what that is, but a mom spends the majority of the time with their children and some of her daily margins really ought to include teaching about God and His law.

Responsibility
It’s a given that a child cannot be left to himself/herself and he/she must be guided to become a God-fearing adult. It is the parent’s responsibility to help their child to obey. Ephesians Chapter 6 says that children are to obey and honor their parents so that life goes well with them.

I tell moms that if a child doesn’t learn to obey and respect authority then he/she can’t know God.

What to Teach Children
Children must be taught obedience and submission to authority. Another thing I have told moms is that obedience is immediate. If a child has to think about obeying, then it’s not obedience. That may sound radical, but if God requires something of me, he expects me to obey without questioning. That’s the same to be expected with children.

When you teach your children about God you want to teach them about humility, how to love others, serve others, and what repentance looks like.

Moms and Obedience to Hard Things
If I as a mom is not living in obedience then how difficult will it be for her to train her children with any confidence when she’s not doing what it is that she’s expecting them to do? For example: submission, respect, not being lazy, not acting out of anger, etc?

Fighting God’s Authority
If your child fights against you in obedience ~ they are really fighting against God. Should this fighting against authority become a pattern in your child’s life then he’ll be at risk for some serious judgment by God. How your child learns to respond to you is how your child will learn to respond to God. Children need to know this. Children have to be trained and not in ANGER – that’s not training.

Your children also need to know that obedience to you is their ticket to a happy life. God blesses obedience.

MOM Help 911 - Part 6

http://lylahledner.blogspot.com/2008/08/mom-help-911-part-6.html

Moms Help 911 - Teaching 2 yr olds how to bake a cake

Did you ever think that a two-year old can learn to bake a birthday cake?
Well, they sure can. Here's proof. These two are my
Ivana Bloom and my Miriam Blaise. The background noise
is the other part of the fabulous five!

Moms Help 911 - Teaching 2 yr olds how to bake a cake

http://lylahledner.blogspot.com/2008/08/moms-help-911-teaching-2-yr-olds-how-to.html

MOM Help 911 - Shoutn' Out

Here's another MOMS Help 911 consideration in my mini-series which started here.

Maire Fahey, editor of Prima, said: "In the 1980s, we thought we could have it all and aspired to high-flying careers and happy families. But the cracks are starting to show. Family life is suffering and something has got to give."

6 million moms leave the work force . . . The stats on stay-at-home moms are up! In 2004, 6 million moms felt the effects of the cracks and left the work force to return home to care for their children. These moms made major life transitions shifting priority to home and family. That one decision, by these 6 million moms, will effect the next two generations as they bring a sense of structure, security and stability to the once fractured family.

Whether a working mom, a stay-at-home mom or a work-at-home mom, being a mom is one of the most glorious, difficult, rewarding and yet taxing jobs a woman can do and my heart goes out to the mom who finds she must work outside the home. Recently, I read at Pew Research, that most moms don't want to work, at least full time.

Making home a priority . . .
Stoking the flames that keep the home front fires burning requires time, energy and making home a priority. Keeping the flames burning and creating a home that is a sanctuary requires that a woman understand the immense value of home and her role in the home as well as that of learning how to love, listen and feed her husband.

The Rebbe says that the home should become a light that illuminates the entire street and community. A woman at home is that light.

Making adjustments . . .
Every mom that shifts from working mom to stay-at-home mom goes through some major adjustments. There is the adjustment to one income, where needs and wants get clarified and budgets get re-analyzed. I, personally, delight in hearing just how many moms put an apron on and discover the joy of menu planning and cooking for their families.Another adjustment for moms is that of being the full time nurturer of their children, where as before a little one would have been dropped off at a day care center for the majority of the day.

Making time . . .
How much time do stay-at-home moms spend with their children? What value does a mom place on being the primary nurturer of her children to train their hearts God-ward and leave a good and godly legacy to the next generation? And, who better than a mom, can know and train the heart of a child?

Moms, spend 3/4 of the time with children, and are the ones who do most of the training, instructing, correcting and nurturing and yet it's wisdom when she recognizes and respects the role and responsibility that the father has and it's wisdom when she seeks his advice, guidance and leadership in making any training decisions. The one who spends the majority of time with a child is the one that will be the heart influencer/trainer of a child.

Comparatively with working moms, I read recently (according to the Office for National Statistics UK) that a working mom spends 19 minutes per day with her children.

Getting organized . . .
At home moms need to be just as organized and on-purpose as when they were working outside the home. Most moms find they have more energy to order and structure their days making their children a priority focus.

Taryn Zier, in her article, A new stay-at-home mom settles into a rewarding routine, says she imposes more structure into her day.

Mom movement of entrepreneurs . . .mom-preneurs . . .
Stay-at-home moms are not only making home and family priority, but they are learning to embrace their creativity and harness their passions in innovating ways to generate income adding to the family pot in a variety of ways.

Many blog moms contract in partnership with Affiliates such as Connect Commerce also known as Double Click Performics or Commission Junction that house stores such as Franklin Covey, K-Mart, Barnes and Nobles, Kohls, Sears, Sur la Table.

Blog moms also partner with Affiliates such as Kathy's Online Meals, Cashcrate, Beeutiful, Click here to become a LinkShare Affiliate!, Auction Ads, Ad Clicks, Adsense.

Money Advice has a post worth reading. Different Affiliates require different applications for site or blog approval. Other blog writing moms, such as myself, have turned their passion for writing or speaking into practical and helpful e-books - our audio cds . . . all from the kitchen table.

Other stay-at-home moms are making it happen as e-moms, it-moms and dot-moms. According to Time Magazine, mompreneurs, as they have come to be known, have created an endless variety of kid-inspired products--motherhood, apparently, being the mother of invention.

Moms helping moms . . ."Technology and changing attitudes have made it easier to create home-based businesses", says Victoria Colligan, founder of Ladies Who Launch. Moms, such as Janice and Susan at 5 Minutes for Mom are providing resources for ouentrepreneurial moms to make money. Moms such as myself and my friend, Linda Fox are moms helping moms be better moms as Lifecoachmoms.com.

Along with my own passions for the home, my friends Lindsay at Passionate Home Making and Stephanie at Keeper of the Home are challenging moms to learn new ways to LOVE their homes and create sanctuary.

Other fabulously creative blog moms inspire creativity in the home like my new friend, Melissa who inspires sanctuary with in her Inspired Rooms.

Many moms are deal seeking moms, coupon craving moms, money saving moms who find free mascara! And, then there are the mom's who give advice on freebies and product reviews and others give advice on relationship issues. This kingdom first mom has a super cool coupon binder. Twin moms blog, design moms who kirtsy blog, frugal moms who live upstate blog.

Time Magazine also reported that a study has been done by the nonprofit Center for Women's Business Research, stating that women are starting new businesses at twice the rate of men and own a 50% or greater stake in 10.6 million U.S. businesses.

Thinking with the end in mind . . .
In the end, it's not going to matter how much money you made, or what kind of sanctuary you created out of your home or if you were an e-mom, a dot-mom, or a mom who just loved a more simple life.

It won't matter how perfectly organized you were, how business savvy you were, or how gourmet your meals were. What matters is if you've loved. What matters is if you've lived a life of love today.

If a woman doesn't know that she's loved, it will be difficult for her to love. If a woman doesn't fully understand that she's been wonderfully created in the Image of God as the crown of His creation, it will be difficult for her to freely love. Life goes by too quickly and what will matter most is if you've loved, and lived today knowing that you were on-purpose, fulfilling your life-design mission while loving God and loving others.

MOM Help 911 - Shoutn' Out

http://lylahledner.blogspot.com/2008/07/heres-another-moms-help-911.html

MOMS Help 911 - Five - Beauty Pauses for the Soul

When a mom is encouraged to REST, it can almost seem like a cruel joke. But, it's the thing - the discipline that somehow a mom MUST prioritize into her life. Because it's so important to understand the kind of REST I'm talking about- go REST here and then continue here.


Today, I want to share a few more ways a mom can REST through more Beauty Pause ideas. On Friday, I posted the Take 10 and Get Out Doors Beauty Pause.

Take 10 - and Discover what Touches Your Soul
What is a Beauty Pause - the thing that touches my soul and brings a REST to me might not be that to you. It's up to each woman to discover and begin to practice her own Beauty Pauses.

When Michael and I lived in Portland, Oregon, one of my Beauty Pauses was to drive downtown to the Goodwill Store. Upstairs at the store were two of my favorite rooms. One was the antique room. Lining it’s shelves were wonderful selections of old tea cups, unmatched saucers, and an occasional lovely tea pot ~ all priced very cheaply. I love to look at and touch pretty things.

It was a Beauty Pause for me to linger, looking at the china and taking time to select my two-dollar purchase. Today, I have many beautiful tea cups and saucers, and even a numbered tea pot, from those delightful Beauty Pauses. Even looking at them and remembering is a moment to pause and remember that Beauty Pause.

The other room at the Goodwill store contained books. Looking at books is another Beauty Pause for me. I especially love the adventure of finding a very old book. I can still remember the day I found an ancient, leather-bound copy of Goethe (a German poet) written in English.

As I carefully opened the inside page, I discovered that this particular book was presented to Julies Rosenfield by Mrs. Annie Shapiro on January 1, 1908. I purchased it for one dollar!

That rare find is still a memory Beauty Pause for me today. More than a third of our library books were obtained from my Beauty Pauses at the Goodwill store ~ all one—and two dollar books!

My Beauty Pauses
I absolutely love personally pampering. It, too, comes under the category of Beauty Pauses. When I take care of myself, I say to God, “God, You did a good job and I’m going to take care of the good job You did!”

Bubble baths, with candles lit and classical music playing softly, are Beauty Pauses for me. A bubble bath has a way of calming me and causing every ounce of stress to swirl right down the drain.

Music is very much a Beauty Pause. It is said to calm the savage beast. Music is an instrument of Restoring Beauty. All of King David’s psalms were songs put to music.

A Beauty Pause to Restore Beauty can be as simple as sitting on your porch in the dark silence of night and simply listening. It will take a bit of time to quiet your racing thoughts, but you can do it. You can quiet those thoughts so that your soul can listen. To what? To the heart of your Father. To hear Him tell you how much He delights in you, how dearly He loves you, and how He has special plans for your life.

Taking Sanctuary
Is it time to take sanctuary away as part of your Restoring Beauty habit? I "took sanctuary" away here.

Is there a day’s drive you can take where the concrete around you can be transformed into the beauty of nature? Is there a cabin to which you can go? Nature often speaks more loudly to the spirit than do those four confining walls.

In Elsie Neufield’s book Dancing in the Dark, she writes that beauty was put there to make the pain endurable. She says that the two must be inseparable.

That is life: beauty, pain, love, and grace. It is enough . . . seeking beauty, looking for it, raising our heads and eyes to it, putting ourselves in places of beauty: this is a creative response to pain. This is healing itself.

About music, Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Music takes us out of the actual and whispers to us dim secrets that startle our wonder as to who we are, and for what, whence, and whereto.”

Here are some Restoring Beauty thoughts for you to actually consider:
· What place does Restoring Beauty have in my life?
· What is my response to beauty?
· Where do I sense the need to begin to create Beauty Pauses so that Restoring Beauty to my soul can be realized?
· Where is that place that my spirit is refreshed?
· What keeps me from going to that place?
· Where is God in all this?
· What is God saying to me now?
· Do I have idols purchased with credit cards that need to be destroyed?

(If so, let your Creator God help you from this hindrance to Restoring Beauty.) More "beauty advice" is here.

MOMS Help 911 - Five - Beauty Pauses for the Soul

http://lylahledner.blogspot.com/2008/07/moms-help-911-five-beauty-pauses-for.html

MOMS Help 911 - Four - Taking Beauty Pauses

I'm continuing my mini series MOMS Help 911 - today and picking up the theme of REST from this post, and I'm calling this:

Learning to REST with Beauty Pauses

I’m a firm believer in scheduled periods of REST. God gives us 168 hours a week and 56 of those hours SHOULD be spent sleeping (eight hours a night)– so that our bodies and minds can rejuvenate. If I've done my math right, that leaves 112 hours to manage and create margins over a seven day period.

But, if we are seeking to practice the “work 6 and rest 1 day” principle, that would force us to work, be disciplined and schedule our margins so that we could truly REST – have a Sabbath on that ONE day.

But, how in the world does a mom REST – or find REST at all?

I want to suggest some possibilities for moms to work in a few moments of REST that I call a Beauty Pause.

A Beauty What, you say?
Good question - let me explain!

First, true beauty starts in the feminine soul ~ a woman. When a woman's soul is refreshed and restored, her countenance shines with beauty and the attitude of her heart graces her to sail through just about any life storm.

Restoring Beauty is necessary. It's something we can't deny that our souls need and deserve. It's like proper skin care to the face - is proper soul care to the woman.

Too many women run here and there - running dry - chasing spins and living an un-Centered life. Is that you? Is your soul dehydrated, famished, or drained?

If you are groaning a whispered “yes” then please know, there is hope. Hope for the beginning of restoration can be found in applying and practicing a few “beauty treatments for the soul” – I call these Beauty Pauses.

Take 10
The first Beauty Pause is to take time out-of-doors to see the beauty of God’s gift: His created earth.

Go, take 10 (minutes). What do you see that you haven’t seen in a long time? What do you hear that you haven’t heard in a long time? What can you smell that you haven’t smelled in a long time? Doves cooing, orange blossoms blooming, a balmy breeze blowing, puffy white clouds lacing mountain tops, or baby Cactus Wrens chirping for their supper?

When we cease racing compulsively through mornings, afternoons or evenings, we grace our soul to recapture life and beauty.

God commanded us to observe a Sabbath rest. If I’m going to restore beauty then what’s required is a Sabbath rest from everything I’m striving for.

“Be still and know that I am God,” the Psalmist writes. When we never “stop to smell the roses,” we miss something of the Creator’s touch upon our souls. We miss the Gentleman’s whisper, wooing us to, “Come away, My Beloved. I am yours and you are Mine.”

Breakdown occurs within the feminine soul that has not created arenas for a Sabbath rest ~ for Sanctuary. When the feminine soul no longer “sees” or “hears” God, it may be that she's purchased idols with credit cards. These idols will eventually fall on her - and the bummer thing is that she'll tear her house down too.

Think about this. . . .
What would it feel like to have the arms of God around you at this very moment? What would it feel like to hear His gentle voice say, “I love you My darling one”?

You and I were meant for to have that communion with the One Who created us. Restoring Beauty creates arenas for our souls to be refreshed through Beauty Pauses.

More on Monday. . . Missed the series? Here's One, Two and Three and here's Mom Advice on Being Frugal.

MOMS Help 911 - Four - Taking Beauty Pauses

http://lylahledner.blogspot.com/2008/07/moms-help-911-four-taking-beauty-pauses.html

Baby Steps Day 15 - continues . . .

Monday and a sunny day in Spain (it's been rainy lately) tempts me outside and onward. I'd intended to post a new and exciting and challenging and . . . (any other adjectives that come to mind) Baby Steps today and after wrestling and writing this post on my MOMS Help 911 series, I'm thinking that it should be considered Baby Steps Day 15 - so - therefore - go here.

I think I'll head to France as my Europe days are winding to an end . . .

Baby Steps Day 15 - continues . . .

http://lylahledner.blogspot.com/2008/07/baby-steps-day-15-continues.html

MOM Help 911 - Part 2

Welcome back to Part 2 of my new mini-series called MOM Help 911. For a review on Moms and anger issues go here. Part one is here.

I've been thinking about the many tasks of a mom and that the primary one is for moms to grow children. By this, I mean that a mom grows her children in three ways.

She models. She trains. She nurtures.

Today, I want to address the most important task and that is what she models. The most important thing a mom models is how she shows respect to their father – her husband. T

here’s nothing that will tear a home down faster than a mom undermining the authority of her husband. Respect for a husband/father is given – it’s not earned.

How does a mom model respect?
First, it’s got to come from the heart, if it’s not there find out why – perhaps there are some serious “dad” wounds that need to be addressed.

Second, don’t view your husband like your father. He’s not. And, seek to resolve conflicts in a biblical way.

Third ask for God to help you to honor your husband according to Ephesians 5:33.

Next, begin to think about ALL those things that you ARE thankful for in your husband. Count them and thank God out loud for them.

Then, begin to talk about those things that you are thankful for to your children. Do this for at least a week. Do it sincerely.

Practice speaking to your husband in a (sincere) gentle voice. Don’t yell. Don’t use a sing songy sarcastic voice – you know the one with the attitude!

Respect is so important. A mom needs to model respect for people and teach her childen how to have respect for other's personal property. I've got to be really honest. Nothing that bugs me more is when kids go to someone’s (my) house and they jump on the furniture or they get into things that aren’t theirs to get into. It's a mom's job to teach her children boundaries and respect. They must be taught that a NO means a NO – not a maybe – but a NO.

So, what are some ways that a mom undermines her husband's authority? Here's my little list:
1. She argues with her husband in front of her children.
2. She goes behind his back and does something for the children that she knows he clearly does NOT want done.
3. She says things like, "Don't tell Dad." Ahhhhhh
4. She talks about her husband - critically to the children or others.
5. She sulks or pouts when things don't go her way.
6. She complains that she can't do this or that because the family doesn't have enough money.

One final MOM Help is that IF your world revolves around your child – and IF your home is “child-centered” then I doubt you understand what it means to show respect to your husband. Go back here for some more biblical review. Hmmm . . .

MOM Help 911 - Part 2

http://lylahledner.blogspot.com/2008/07/mom-help-911-part-2.html