Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Baby Steps – Day 6 to Becoming an On-Purpose Home Keeper

Today is Day 6 in my series on Baby Steps and one of the things that I love about being a writer is not only the opportunity I have to encourage so many women (I've been so jazzed about with all the emails and notes yesterday - scroll down to see one), but more so what it does for me.

See, I am in no way perfect. I have not arrived. I am in process. And, when I write what I know is true, what I know is Biblical, what I know works and what I know honors God - I get reminded. I get to be challenged all over again. I don't know about you, but I need that. I need the kick in the pants - as I run this race . . . as God develops character (His) in me - for the sake of the Kingdom and That Day (2 Corinthians 5:7-11).

So, before I move on to some practical how to stuff, I want to address (again) how vital a woman’s attitude is toward her home and her husband and toward her role.

Unfortunately, so many women have had NOTHING biblical modeled. It was my generation (sorry girls) who left the home in mass. We were a bunch of angry women who left our homes to pursue something we thought would actually be more fulfilling. What we left was a mess. I'll write more about the mess we left on another day.

A woman’s attitude toward her home front is just about everything. What you think about what your role is and what God says about it matters.

About eighteen years ago, I realized that I'd torn my house down. Yup, I did. I disrespected Michael, tried to make him and our daughters perfect - because if they were all perfect, then everyone would think that I was perfect and then I'd be OK. It was foolish and destructive. My expectations were ridiculous. I didn't understand my role. I didn't understand how to Create Sanctuary or any of the Simple Home Principles. Today I do. I am passionate about them - ask the girls I face to face disciple.

God's grace and truth got a hold of my heart and He directed my steps to be on-purpose to rebuild my home front. I did these three things:

A – I Assessed my home front (marriage, parenting, home keeping skills)
B – I Become Biblical
– I recognized God’s heart for Character over Convenience

I know from the letters that I receive that many of my readers are in the same boat that I was eighteen years ago. Whether or not that's you, here's your Lylah Assignment for the Day :-)

Your Becoming and On-Purpose Home Keeper Assignment (I am a teacher, ya know.) is to journal. Do the best you can. I know you are ALL very, very busy moms. At least read through the questions and hear God's heart toward you about them.

Assess your home front. Where are you doing well and where do you need to grow in those three main areas?

Journal your answers to these questions:
What is the condition of my home? Is it a mess - clutter every where? Is there peace, unity, harmony?

Are there unresolved conflicts? Am I bitter about unresolved hurts from the past? Do I with hold sex from my husband or use it to manipulate him? Do I have a list of excuses as to why I can’t/don’t want to make love? More on this one later.

Are kind words the norm or is the tone more sarcastic or harsh? If so, why? Do my words edify and build up? Do I complain? Do I manipulate? Do I nag, grumble?

Do I have an attitude of submission and do I show my husband respect? Do I understand that he is God's authority in the home and do I understand what my husband's vision is and do I follow it?

Is communication surface or on a more intimate level? Does my husband’s heart trust me?

Do I wisely manage my time?

Am I content and does it show with joy? Am I always wanting more? Do I compare myself to other women?

Do I prepare nutrition meals for my family?

Am I a busy body?

Do I say things about my husband to others that uncovers his weaknesses…those character areas that God is working on? Do I correct his story in public . . . thus shaming him?

Do I place my children’s needs over that of my husbands? Do I serve my children and train my husband?

Is what I’m about to do going to help my husband? How am I affirming his leadership? Do I know what it means to express my femininity through supporting his leadership? How do I minister to my husband? How do I show him that I am fond of him?

Do I fully understand my biblical job description? Do I fully understand my husband’s biblical job description?

Do I see my husband in light of how God sees him? Or, do I have my husband locked in to patterns of the past? Do the choices I make serve me or my husband? Do I have a love for my home?

Is the God-designed creative nurture expressed within my home?

I have so appreciated your personal emails to me. It’s encouraging to know that I’m hitting the mark. Email with questions or comments at or leave them here.

I’ll see you back here tommorrow.

Here’s one I received last night (with permission to share):

Hi Lylah,
My name is Faith. I heard about your site and book from Stephanie @ keeperofthehome.

First, I'd like to say that I have been really touched by what I've read on your site so far. The areas you write about: journaling, making your home a sanctuary, loving our husbands, prayer, and more are close to my heart. However, they are all definitely areas I need and want to grow in. As I read your site, continually I said to myself, "Yes! That's what I've been thinking about...or Yes! I want to be that person. (Side note: I've tried many times to explain to my husband or a friend why journaling is important to me, but never seem to be able to convey exactly what I mean. I think from now on I'll just read them some excerpts from your site on journaling! That is my heart!)

In case you've missed one - here's Day 5, Day 4, Day 3, Day 2, Day 2, Day 1 and my intro. This works for me!

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Anonymous said...

I need to go back and read your other posts. Love your questions. That is my challenge for tomorrow. :)

Kari said...

I just found this and really appreciate it. Thank you for writing this!

Lylah Ledner said...

Kari...beautiful're so welcome.....