Thursday, June 12, 2008

Baby Steps Toward Becoming an On-Purpose Home Keeper Part 2

In continuing the process of taking baby steps toward becoming on on-purpose home keeper who creates sanctuary, I want to address some of those Sanctuary Robbers that keep a woman from being on-purpose and creating sanctuary.

The first robber is to NOT evaluating heart attitudes toward the home, being a wife and mother. I addressed some of that here.

Unbiblical Values
The next robber is to be guided by unbiblical values. Values are those things that matter to us. They subconsciously contribute to our life and they drive us (motivate us). What matters to God must matter to us. If we’re not God-centered then we’ll be self-centered. If we think this life is all about us – then we’re missing the point. If we’re not guided by living with the end in mind, we’ll also end up missing the point. Character and maturity!

Key Biblical Principles
Another robber is NOT understanding some very key biblical principles of biblical headship and submission. A woman will operate out of fear (which has roots in anger and unrealistic expectations) and dominate her man if she doesn’t understand God’s order for her marriage and her home.

Way to many "Christian" women have a cultural view of marriage and God and how to do life. A cultural view is a feminist view. Period! Believing in and living in the protection of biblical order is the only way toward creating sanctuary in the home.

1 Corinthians 11:9 says that the woman was made for the man. Genesis 3 says that she was created to be his helper. She’s to complement her husband, she’s to follow his lead. She’s to be his support and friend and lover. Women who don't follow don't GET it. In the end, they'll end up bitter and alone.

Keeping My Husband in Mind
Everything I order and structure and create and do on my home front as an on-purpose home keeper has my husband in mind. Everything!

I think of how what I do will effect him. I want sanctuary created so that he can be clear on the vision he has for us. If our home is disordered, if I’m disheveled, or discontent and if I haven’t managed my time margins effectively, then it effects my husband. More on this later.

A woman's role is to get behind his vision and follow him. Our role is to set the home in order so that he can find a respite from the storm of the world. Our role is to wipe the sweat off his brow and to make him shine. One of the ways I do that is by being clear of my purpose and by creating sanctuary for him ~ for us.

If a woman doesn’t GET this, then she doesn’t understand biblical principles and won’t ever create sanctuary in her home. She won’t ever be an on-purpose home keeper. And, she won't ever get to do the dance that she longs to do. Ever!

What Drives You?
Think about what drives you? Do biblical truths guide you or do your fears guide you? Are your values wrapped around being self-centered or other centered. Are you self-serving or other serving? Are you into getting your “needs” met – whatever you think your “needs” are? Or are you into following him and serving him and modeling respect to him?

What We Think We Need
Speaking of "needs", a woman often thinks she "needs" something but what she thinks she "needs" is more time than driven by a fear she has and not a legitmate need. Our needs are for love, acceptance, food, clothing, shelter, etc.

Margins and the Gift of Time
How we steward the gift of time can be another Sanctuary Robber or it can be a blessing to the creation of sanctuary. An on-purpose home keeper must constantly evaluate her use of time. I look at my time in increments of margins and sometimes my margins bleed over into other margins. When they do, my husband will often bear the burden. More on this later.

Being Real with Time Robbers
Time is a precious commodity. There are only 168 hours in the week no matter what we do and we should be sleeping (so our body can heal) during a third of those hours.

What robs your time? How do you spend your time? When are your productive hours? How do you waste your time?

Make a list of your personal time robbers: attitude, messiness, overwhelmed by clutter, easily being distracted, too much time away from the home, time on the phone, TV, computer, are a few. List yours.

I love hearing your comments! What's your main time robber and how do you overcome the temptation? What area of biblical womanhood and marriage do you struggle in? Why?

More tomorrow! here's part 3

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Kristin said...

I was given your blog address by my sister Kimberly who knows Jenny from college years. I also went to Multnomah with Candace. Thanks for writing on being an On -Purppose Home Keeper. I have four children and a husband who is a worship Pastor and I needed to read this today. It has encouraged me to look at how I manage my time and my home. Thank you so much for the biblical insight that you are giving on this subject. To God be the Glory!


Lylah said...

kristin...i'm so jazzed i could encourage you today. may the Lord bless your heart as you follow hard after him and his ways.


BreAnna said...

For me a HUGE time robber was the TV. It was just so easy to turn on and get lost in just to leave kid shows on all day and nothing got done. This time with our new start and with the help from Lylah we decided to erase that destraction and were not getting cable at all were eliminating the problem before it even happens. Which is funny since we own a big screen TV.

Stephanie @ Keeper of the Home said...

Oh, the computer can be such a time robber for me, as I try to balance my blog with all of my other responsibilities. It's so tempting (and easy) to just get reading, because there's so much good stuff out there. I have to work really hard to practice self-control to just do what I need to do, and then get off!

I'm enjoying this series, Lylah (I've read the more recent one, too). Wonderful writing and insight, as always, and I love to see these principles addressed in a Biblical way!

Alyssa said...

What I sit doing now is my time robber. Being online, though I do make money from some of it some of it is mindless reading, chatting, etc... how do I get more disciplined?

Donna said...

I am enjoying going through this series...thank you again for your willingness to be a Titus woman!