Saturday, April 12, 2008

how to make your man shine

This is an excerpt from my handbook - Power Prayers for Your Mighty Man. This can only be viewed on Internet Explorer.

How To Make Your Man Shine

Preparation . . .


Every wife has the potential to make her man shine. She was created and designed with an innate power of influence. God created the woman for the benefit of the man. Scripture says that it is not good for the man to be alone.


Read and write down 1 Corinthians 11:7 - 9
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What a power of influence we have! Not only are we made for our husband’s benefit, but as Scripture says, woman is the glory of the man. What is that glory? What does this look like from heavens perspective?


As I ponder those questions and think about my own marriage, I am reminded about what God says that a man needs most. God answers “what this looks like” through the Apostle Paul when he states in Ephesians 5:33 that a wife must respect her husband. I believe the key and the potential for any wife to get reward in lovingly being her husband’s glory is by showing him unconditional respect. A man will shine, in time, when he has been given unconditional respect.


Getting wisdom and understanding is crucial in marriage. The book of Proverbs says that we are to get wisdom and understanding. Not only does it have great value to understand how God wired men – but also it’s important to understand how men in our culture think and live as they do. Understanding can help mitigate the judgments we make toward them. What do you understand about your husband? Was his father in his life as a positive role model? Does your husband understand his responsibility before God as the leader, provider, protector, and priest of the home? Is your husband passive or angry and if so, why? Is your husband his mother’s little prince? If so, do you understand why? Is your husband stuck in pornography and if so, do you understand the roots of this in his life?


These are tough questions, but it’s a wise woman who will get wisdom and understanding as to what’s happening in the soul of her husband. If a woman doesn’t, then most likely she’ll live with judgments toward him.


You can be your husband’s friend. Being your husband’s friend can mean understanding and ministering to his needs in light of his love language. According to Gary Chapman, in his book, Love Languages there are five love languages and we all respond to one or two significant ones. Do you know your husband’s love language? This could be a fun time of discovery. There is the love language of meaningful touch. The man that responds to meaningful touch likes hugs, pats on the back, tender touches on the arm, many kisses, and, he probably likes having his hand held.


Create a safe harbor for your husband to be listened to. Make him feel safe and secure enough to want to be with you. Watch your response when your man does share his feelings. Don’t say, “You never share your feelings with me.” The reason he might not is that he doesn’t feel safe enough with you to do so.

Another reason a man might not share feelings is that he’s not too sure of them himself. It’s far easier for a man to give advice or money than his heart if he’s afraid. My own grandfather never expressed feelings of love to grandmother until the day she died. Those feelings were expressed by what he bought her. On his 90th birthday his advice to the people at our church was “tell your wife you love her.” These were words of gold that I’ll never forget.

Think about “safe harbor.” What comes to mind when you think about that word?
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Ponder these questions...please don’t skip over them quickly, but take time to evaluate with the Lord where you’re really at.

How emotionally connected are you to your husband?
What kinds of patterns (anger, arguing, criticalness, defensiveness or contempt) need to be broken?
Do you complain about what your husband does or doesn’t do?
Do you explode or withdraw?
Are you a reactionary—with those “knee jerk” reactions?
Do you focus on the details of what is wrong rather than overlooking and giving grace?
How well do you really listen to your husband? Listening doesn’t mean that you solve problems or find solutions. It’s being in the place of mind where you actually hear his heart.

Power Prayers for Your Mighty Man is available for immediate download here via paypal.

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2 comments:

singlemomforgod said...

lylah, we are reading this together tonight. I would recommend this read to any woman who is desiring marriage! Read this before you get married, it will help you so much in your courtship/engagement/and marriage.

I believe that this starts before you get married and is carried out in the beginning of your relationship.

singlemomforgod said...

lylah, we are reading this together tonight. I would recommend this read to any woman who is desiring marriage! Read this before you get married, it will help you so much in your courtship/engagement/and marriage.

I believe that this starts before you get married and is carried out in the beginning of your relationship.