i'm in a giving mood - the simple home

It's good to be a giver. And, again today, I'm in a giving mood. Yesterday, I made five loaves of freshly ground whole wheat bread (I haven't made bread in years - we're talking years). Already, I've given two loaves away.

Today, I want to give the gift that will keep on giving: prayer. There's just something that happens when a wife prays for her husband because in the faithfulness of the discipline it keeps coming back to bless her, her husband, her marriage, her children and anyone else that is watching how God moves when a woman prays.

I wrote Power Prayers for Your Mighty Man in 1999 and since then it's traveled the world. It changed me first, then my husband. I want to give it to you today. Also, please feel free to post this give away on your blog. I'm in a giving mood.

Post a comment below and then email me at lylahledner@gmail.com and the gift ebook - Power Prayers for Your Mighty Man is yours.

Prayer is totally part of the Simple Home plan

For other Simple Home suggestions:

What is the Simple Home - read here.

The Simple Home - Organizing your Linens

The Simple Home - Planner

The Simple Home - Well Equipped Kitchen

The Simple Home - Decorating on a Budget

The Simple Home - Creating Sanctuary in the Master Bedroom

i'm in a giving mood - the simple home

http://lylahledner.blogspot.com/2009/02/im-in-giving-mood-simple-home.html

The Power of the Bedroom - Sex Talk

I read once that every room has a mission. If you were writing a mission statement for your home what would it be? A woman’s home is an extension of her feminine soul…and it’s God-given creativity. Take a minute and walk around your home. The mission statement I'd give of my home is Celebrate Life. Even in the days where it's in a bit of a disarray, I can say that.

Head toward your bedroom.

What would the mission statement of your bedroom be? Does your bedroom say – Come on honey, let’s CELEBRATE? Is your bedroom uncluttered, as beautiful as can be, fragrant . . . like a sanctuary?

My heart is to create sanctuary and after a woman tends to her kitchen and brings order there, I'd say the master bedroom is next. I wrote about the importance in creating Sanctuary in the Master Bedroom here.

Read Hebrews 13:4. Write it down in a journal.

It IS the place where your husband comes to pursue you…

Don't let EVERYONE in Your Bedroom
I can remember when my spiritual mother told me to make our master bedroom a place of beauty and a place of sanctuary. I think of it as being the room where two lovers unite their souls as one in a sweet expression of intimacy. I'm VERY careful who comes into our bedroom. Guests rarely use our private bathroom. It's important to me to keep our room - our room (OK, except when you have 5+ grandkiddos). But, when do have a lock on our door!

Nancy (my spiritual mother) would always say that it is important for the room that to have order, look beautiful and smell lovely.

Take a second look in your bedroom. What’s it like? Is there any room for improvement? Is your ironing board in your bedroom or how about a pile of laundry waiting to be folded?

What’s the smell factor of your bedroom? Is it time to see what you can do to pretty it up?

Little Touches Make a Difference
Even if you’re on a no-budget fix up—you can still get creative with what you might have in other rooms—pillows, lighting, silk flowers, and candles. What about changing the room around? Can you repaint or wallpaper? Can you add some new curtains or a comforter? What can you do to make it a bit more romantic?

Eliminate Distractions
The first thing you can do is to eliminate distractions in the bedroom. The TV is anathema to romance. It’s a good idea to keep the bedroom free of work, computers and any thing else that would distract you.

A Sanctuary of Communion, Rest and Romance
Our master bedrooms are to be a sanctuary of communion and rest and romance—not a work place. I understand that at times there are extenuating circumstances, but if at all possible shut things off so rest and romance flow through the room.

Cap off the Day
I've been doing a sleep deprivation study and have learned that our bodies/minds don't heal if we stay up much past 10 PM. We personal make it a goal to be in bed - lights out before then. It's just healthier. It allows for pillow chat time mixed it with other good stuff.

Celebrating the Sanctuary of Love
Now that you’re CELEBRATING the sanctuary of love - and you're getting my drift. Let's do an attitude check.

Is your attitude toward sex one that says, “YES! Let’s CELEBRATE?”
Can you be sexy for your husband and what would that look like?
And, have you taken the 30 Day Sex Challenge?

Celebrate Sex
Attitude about sex is everything. God has an “attitude” about sex and women would do well to line their attitude up with his. What is your attitude about sex? Is sex on your mind? Take some time and write out your attitudes in your journal.

Attitude has to do with an inward feeling expressed with an outward behavior. “As a woman thinks—so she does.” The Bible says that out of the heart the mouth speaks. Whatever attitude we have as wives have will come out in what we do and what we say. If our “attitude” isn’t a God “attitude” then there’s great potential to deeply wound our man with our words and actions.

This sexual arena is a very “tender” one for our men.

One of God’s Attitudes Expressed in 1 Corinthians 7:3-5
I'd suggest to read that passage and write it out in your journal.

Duty or Delight
That word “duty” can throw many women off balance. It has the idea of not depriving each other by taking back what has already been promised—the Celebration of Sex. That passage is saying that we have the right, the privilege, and the responsibility to please each other in the marriage bed.

Space and purpose here in this post won’t allow for my dissertation on the Celebration of Sex, instead an excellent book to read is Intimate Issues by Linda Dillow and Lorraine Pintus.

As you seek to “get” a “God attitude” about sex, consider what voices you’ve heard in the past that conflict and have caused confusion about sex. Media will be a confusing voice, your mom might have been a confusing voice, the girl friends down the street might have been a wrong voice too. Those voices are good to get in touch with. God’s voice matters.

Sex and it’s CELEBRATION is about God—not about us.

Prayer

LORD, You say that the marriage bed is holy and undefiled (Hebrews 13:4). I thank You that this is Your idea. I thank You that You created us to enjoy one another (Song of Solomon 7:6).

LORD, You have made my husband a sexual being. You have made me a sexual being. I pray that You would help me change any wrong thinking I have toward this Celebration of Marriage that is a gift.

Father, grace us to gain an understanding of one another's distinct physical
differences and help us to appreciate these differences rather than be irritated by them.

LORD, help me to completely give myself to my husband and to fully enjoy our times of lovemaking. Help me to release everything from my mind and to enter into our times of lovemaking with one focus—the pleasure of intimacy in this realm of romantic love (Song of Solomon 8:13-14).

Father, bless my husband's sexuality. I pray that he would become strong and . . . .you fill in the blank!

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The Power of the Bedroom - Sex Talk

http://lylahledner.blogspot.com/2008/04/power-of-bedroom-sex-talk.html

healing shame - an excerpt from power prayers for your might man

The following is an excerpt from my prayer book for wives called Power Prayers for Your Mighty Man. My Life Coach Mom's web site can be only be viewed via Explorer.

C H A P T E R T W E L V E

Healing Shame

Preparation . . .


Consider this:


Shame is nothing new. Its origin is from the Garden. Remember what happened to Adam and Eve when they sinned? They were afraid, they tried to cover up their nakedness, and then they hid. Shame was at the core of Adam and Eve's fall. Not only did they hide, but they started to blame. What do we do when we feel shame? We hide. We blame. We try to cover up our real self. Shame is about who I am. Guilt is about what I’ve done.

A woman who operates out of shame carries about within herself a nagging sense that somehow she is defective or flawed. She may then resort to creating a false sense of self. When a woman has total acceptance and a sense of value, based on Christ's value imparted to her, she does not live in that sense of shame.

Shame is toxic. It is subtle, it is cunning, and it wears many masks. Shame gives us a sense of worthlessness and the idea that we do not measure up as women.

A shame-based woman will, typically, guard herself in revealing who she really is. She may take off the mask when the pain inside her feminine soul becomes too great, but this vulnerability is only temporary. It's only a release valve, like that which is on a pressure cooker. She will reveal only enough to gain some relief, then the mask will go up again so that she can hide the internal pain. Guilt keeps that mask in place because she feels she has revealed too much of her "real" self.

As women, we often shame our husbands because we view our own imperfections as a reflection on us. If others see that we really aren't as perfect as we'd like them to believe, then we think we’ll be viewed as not so perfect, either.

So, we may nag, complain, and shame the perfect husband (and the perfect children) into existence. Our thinking is, "If I make my husband and children perfect, or if I at least make them look perfect on the outside (looking right and doing all the right things), then other people will think they are perfect. And, if they think they are perfect, then I will appear perfect, too!

When I operate in a knee jerk reaction (shame) then it means that I’ve forgotten who I am. I’ve forgotten who Jesus says I am.

Who I Am

Jesus knew who he was, what he was to do and where he was going. You and I have our identity in him. The enemy would like nothing more than to keep us from walking in WHO and WHOSE we are.

I’ve listed a few of my identities. Are they yours? Great verses to memorize are: Eph. 1:3-14, Col. 3:1-3, ROM 6:6,11,13

healing shame - an excerpt from power prayers for your might man

http://lylahledner.blogspot.com/2008/04/healing-shame-excerpt-from-power.html

how to make your man shine

This is an excerpt from my handbook - Power Prayers for Your Mighty Man. This can only be viewed on Internet Explorer.

How To Make Your Man Shine

Preparation . . .


Every wife has the potential to make her man shine. She was created and designed with an innate power of influence. God created the woman for the benefit of the man. Scripture says that it is not good for the man to be alone.


Read and write down 1 Corinthians 11:7 - 9
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What a power of influence we have! Not only are we made for our husband’s benefit, but as Scripture says, woman is the glory of the man. What is that glory? What does this look like from heavens perspective?


As I ponder those questions and think about my own marriage, I am reminded about what God says that a man needs most. God answers “what this looks like” through the Apostle Paul when he states in Ephesians 5:33 that a wife must respect her husband. I believe the key and the potential for any wife to get reward in lovingly being her husband’s glory is by showing him unconditional respect. A man will shine, in time, when he has been given unconditional respect.


Getting wisdom and understanding is crucial in marriage. The book of Proverbs says that we are to get wisdom and understanding. Not only does it have great value to understand how God wired men – but also it’s important to understand how men in our culture think and live as they do. Understanding can help mitigate the judgments we make toward them. What do you understand about your husband? Was his father in his life as a positive role model? Does your husband understand his responsibility before God as the leader, provider, protector, and priest of the home? Is your husband passive or angry and if so, why? Is your husband his mother’s little prince? If so, do you understand why? Is your husband stuck in pornography and if so, do you understand the roots of this in his life?


These are tough questions, but it’s a wise woman who will get wisdom and understanding as to what’s happening in the soul of her husband. If a woman doesn’t, then most likely she’ll live with judgments toward him.


You can be your husband’s friend. Being your husband’s friend can mean understanding and ministering to his needs in light of his love language. According to Gary Chapman, in his book, Love Languages there are five love languages and we all respond to one or two significant ones. Do you know your husband’s love language? This could be a fun time of discovery. There is the love language of meaningful touch. The man that responds to meaningful touch likes hugs, pats on the back, tender touches on the arm, many kisses, and, he probably likes having his hand held.


Create a safe harbor for your husband to be listened to. Make him feel safe and secure enough to want to be with you. Watch your response when your man does share his feelings. Don’t say, “You never share your feelings with me.” The reason he might not is that he doesn’t feel safe enough with you to do so.

Another reason a man might not share feelings is that he’s not too sure of them himself. It’s far easier for a man to give advice or money than his heart if he’s afraid. My own grandfather never expressed feelings of love to grandmother until the day she died. Those feelings were expressed by what he bought her. On his 90th birthday his advice to the people at our church was “tell your wife you love her.” These were words of gold that I’ll never forget.

Think about “safe harbor.” What comes to mind when you think about that word?
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Ponder these questions...please don’t skip over them quickly, but take time to evaluate with the Lord where you’re really at.

How emotionally connected are you to your husband?
What kinds of patterns (anger, arguing, criticalness, defensiveness or contempt) need to be broken?
Do you complain about what your husband does or doesn’t do?
Do you explode or withdraw?
Are you a reactionary—with those “knee jerk” reactions?
Do you focus on the details of what is wrong rather than overlooking and giving grace?
How well do you really listen to your husband? Listening doesn’t mean that you solve problems or find solutions. It’s being in the place of mind where you actually hear his heart.

Power Prayers for Your Mighty Man is available for immediate download here via paypal.

how to make your man shine

http://lylahledner.blogspot.com/2008/04/how-to-make-your-man-shine.html