The following is an excerpt from my prayer book for wives called Power Prayers for Your Mighty Man. My Life Coach Mom's web site can be only be viewed via Explorer.
C H A P T E R T W E L V E
Preparation . . .
Shame is nothing new. Its origin is from the Garden. Remember what happened to Adam and Eve when they sinned? They were afraid, they tried to cover up their nakedness, and then they hid. Shame was at the core of Adam and Eve's fall. Not only did they hide, but they started to blame. What do we do when we feel shame? We hide. We blame. We try to cover up our real self. Shame is about who I am. Guilt is about what I’ve done.
A woman who operates out of shame carries about within herself a nagging sense that somehow she is defective or flawed. She may then resort to creating a false sense of self. When a woman has total acceptance and a sense of value, based on Christ's value imparted to her, she does not live in that sense of shame.
Shame is toxic. It is subtle, it is cunning, and it wears many masks. Shame gives us a sense of worthlessness and the idea that we do not measure up as women.
A shame-based woman will, typically, guard herself in revealing who she really is. She may take off the mask when the pain inside her feminine soul becomes too great, but this vulnerability is only temporary. It's only a release valve, like that which is on a pressure cooker. She will reveal only enough to gain some relief, then the mask will go up again so that she can hide the internal pain. Guilt keeps that mask in place because she feels she has revealed too much of her "real" self.
As women, we often shame our husbands because we view our own imperfections as a reflection on us. If others see that we really aren't as perfect as we'd like them to believe, then we think we’ll be viewed as not so perfect, either.
So, we may nag, complain, and shame the perfect husband (and the perfect children) into existence. Our thinking is, "If I make my husband and children perfect, or if I at least make them look perfect on the outside (looking right and doing all the right things), then other people will think they are perfect. And, if they think they are perfect, then I will appear perfect, too!
When I operate in a knee jerk reaction (shame) then it means that I’ve forgotten who I am. I’ve forgotten who Jesus says I am.
Who I Am
Jesus knew who he was, what he was to do and where he was going. You and I have our identity in him. The enemy would like nothing more than to keep us from walking in WHO and WHOSE we are.
I’ve listed a few of my identities. Are they yours? Great verses to memorize are: Eph. 1:3-14, Col. 3:1-3, ROM 6:6,11,13