Thursday, May 29, 2008

let's get real about our anger

In my um-teen plus years of discipling and counseling women, I’ve observed a few things about them (us), and one of the things that has been hitting me lately is just how much anger resides in the feminine soul of women. None of us are excluded. Like bitterness, it’s pretty difficult to admit we’re angry. It seems taboo to fess up to frustration.

I remember hearing Dr. Pamela Reeves from Multnomah Bible College and Seminary (Portland, Oregon) say once that when a person says they’re frustrated, they’re really saying they’re angry.

I think because we want to come across as gentle, demure, sweet and never show those negative emotions we stuff a lot of anger which comes out in other syrupy ways.

If I have an unrealistic or even realistic (Biblically based) expectation that someone should treat me in a certain way—and when that person fails me—generally the first emotion I feel will be anger.

Anger is not a “bad” emotion—it’s what I call a trigger emotion. It’s a gauge that something is happening. Ephesians says to be angry and don’t sin. It’s what I do with the anger—if I let it drive me in a misdirected way that will be sin. If I choose to let anger to be my driver to direct me to the Lord in the hurt, then it’s not sin, but it’s opportunity to mature.

What is anger?
It’s an emotion that arises when a wish or desire is not fulfilled. When what I want (whatever the “want” is) doesn’t happen, there’s a drive to change the situation. Anger is that driver used . . . read the rest here.

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