women helping women - cookin' for the man

I've been delighted to come along side Breanna and share parenting helps, marriage encouragements, and talk to her about how to begin to Create Sanctuary in her new apartment. Breanna's a mom of three little munchkins all under the age of three.

The third little munchkin, Cole Ledner, will be welcomed into the family the end of October. What's fun is that Michael and I get to be Poppi and Nana to these little people too. So, that will make nine little people that we get to directly leave a legacy for!Yahoo!

Michael and Breanna's husband, Griffin are (half) brothers and about thirty three years apart! What's fun is that both men LOVE Italian! Before Michael and I married,I asked him what was his favorite thing to eat. He did NOT hesitate - Italian. Anything Italian. So, I asked an Italian woman to give me some of her secrets. I wanted to cook for my man.

What's sweet is that Breanna does too. She knows that this is one of the secrets to Create Sanctuary on her home front. So, last Thursday I spent a little kitchen time with Breanna - making my Italian sauce in her new kitchen.


To make Lylah's Italian sauce - start with chopping an onion and 3 - 4 cloves of garlic. I often use more - cause we LOVE garlic.

Once the onions and garlic are chopped add them to an already heated pot - with about 6 Tablespoons of extra virgin olive oil. Keep the olive oil on a low heat. For a primer on the world of oils, visit Lindsay's blog. Great info on oils.

When the onion and garlic are translucent I add a can of Progresso tomato paste and stir it in with the onion and garlic. Chop fresh or dried rosemary, oregano, and basil and add this to the pot. Mix it up.

Then add your cans of tomatoe (I use Trader Joe's) diced tomatoes and a few of their cans of marinara sauce. Add about 1 Tablespoon of salt and stir it together. Simple and yum!

Not bad for having ONLY moved in the day before! I'm thankful for my friends that came to help bring the home front together.

women helping women - cookin' for the man

http://lylahledner.blogspot.com/2008/06/women-helping-women-cookin-for-man.html

let's get real about our anger

In my um-teen plus years of discipling and counseling women, I’ve observed a few things about them (us), and one of the things that has been hitting me lately is just how much anger resides in the feminine soul of women. None of us are excluded. Like bitterness, it’s pretty difficult to admit we’re angry. It seems taboo to fess up to frustration.

I remember hearing Dr. Pamela Reeves from Multnomah Bible College and Seminary (Portland, Oregon) say once that when a person says they’re frustrated, they’re really saying they’re angry.

I think because we want to come across as gentle, demure, sweet and never show those negative emotions we stuff a lot of anger which comes out in other syrupy ways.

If I have an unrealistic or even realistic (Biblically based) expectation that someone should treat me in a certain way—and when that person fails me—generally the first emotion I feel will be anger.

Anger is not a “bad” emotion—it’s what I call a trigger emotion. It’s a gauge that something is happening. Ephesians says to be angry and don’t sin. It’s what I do with the anger—if I let it drive me in a misdirected way that will be sin. If I choose to let anger to be my driver to direct me to the Lord in the hurt, then it’s not sin, but it’s opportunity to mature.

What is anger?
It’s an emotion that arises when a wish or desire is not fulfilled. When what I want (whatever the “want” is) doesn’t happen, there’s a drive to change the situation. Anger is that driver used . . . read the rest here.

let's get real about our anger

http://lylahledner.blogspot.com/2008/05/lets-get-real-about-our-anger.html

facial products i use

I'm occassionally asked what face products I use. If that doesn't make an "older" woman feel good. So for all of you gals that just want to know . . . here are my tried and trues. I've tried many, many face products: cleansers, scrubs, eye cream, etc. and finally, at the age of almost 54 have come up with what I believe is a fantastic regiment to keep my skin - looking good with products free of parbens and other damaging gross stuff.

When I use a moisturizer, I use this one by Albrey. The SPF 15 is an ok amount.

I love Burt's Bees Royal Jelly Eye Creme. I've used Dr. Hauska's Eye Contour Day Balm and it's great, but for the price, I'm just as pleased with Burt's Bees Royal Jelly Eye Creme. I've also used Eye Believe by Cosmedics and it's THE BEST eye cream around. It runs between $65 - 85 for the tiny container - but you use hardly any. It's an amazing liquid crystal serum that really replensishes damaged, thinning skin around your eyes. You've got to find a distributor to purchase it. It's great stuff, but, I'm very pleased with the Burt's Bees Royal Jelly Eye Creme and I LOVE it's price.

I've used this product (very rarely) and it's a good one! Fruit Fiesta Peel is available here.

This is absolutely my most favorite cleanser - My Chelle Fruit Enzyme Cleanser. It has a nice soft lather, cleans well removing make-up and then for some reason it makes my face feel a bit tighter - especially after a long day. I LOVE the stuff and it's available here and a list of what's in the product is here.

This stuff is FANTASTIC with a capital F - Skin Eternal Serum. I use this most mornings (under make up on a clean face and every evening). Recently I met an Esthetician who asked me what I used on my face. That felt good. I'd say that this product is an absolute must. Skin Eternal Serum is available here. This is what works for me.

The wonderful ingredients in Skin Eternal Serum:

Water (Deionized), Propylene Glycol, Polysorbate 80, Glycerin, Vitamin C Ester (Ascorbyl Palmitate), DMAE, Polyethylene Glycol, Glycolic Acid (alpha-Hydroxy Acid), Alpha Lipoic Acid, Lemon Oil, Simethicone, Lavender Oil, Aloe Vera, Methylparaben, Biotin, Vitamin A Palmitate, Vitamin D3, Vitamin E, Calcium Pantothenate, Coenzyme Q10, Chamomile Flower Extract 4:1

It's good to know what ingredients do what. Ingredients of interest - defintions taken from here.
Glycerin*: Acts as a natural preserving agent, re-moisturizes and lubricates the skin, and promotes skin softness and smoothness. From various plants
Sodium Hyaluronate (L): Surges water deep into the skin which improves skin pliability and plumping to relieve fine lines, maintains healthy hydration levels, prevents trans-epidermal water loss. Vegetarian source
Glutathione (L): a naturally existent tripeptide found in human tissues, it acts as a fundamental antioxidant, its content is decreased by exposure to UV radiation
Dry Marine Collagen: stimulates re-building of collagen, mineralizes the skin with essential oligo elements that strengthen the skin
Resveratrol: antioxidant, vasodilator, blocks destructive UVB radiation
Gotu Kola Extract: calms stressed skin tissues to relieve sensitivities, speeds up the healing of wounds, relieves inflammation and dermatitis through natural glycosides, promotes collagen synthesis, tones and brightens the skin
L-retinol: normalizes peeling in follicles, reduces cellular cohesion without causing inflammation
Tocotrienols: antioxidant, UV protectant
L-proline: improves skin texture and aids collagen formation, slows the loss of collagen content within the skin as aging occurs
Copper Peptides: enhances wound healing and action of antioxidants, reduces wrinkle formation, promotes skin firmness
Superoxide Dismutase: dismutates reactive oxygen species into water resulting in a reduction in free radical damage
Glucosamine HCL (D): reinforces the strength of the skin, increases the natural content of glucosamine to improve the extra-cellular matrix, replenishes and firms the skin
Neroli EO: antiseptic, bacteriacide, emollient, aromatherapeutic

This glossary will help you to understand the ingredients My Chelle uses, and why they use them. I've taken it from here.

Allantoin: Healing, soothing, and believed to aid in the healing of damaged skin by stimulating new tissue growth. Derived from the comfrey root.
Almond oil: An emollient and carrier, providing an elegant skin feel and promoting spread-ability in creams and lotions.
Aloe vera gel: Hydrating, softening, healing emollient with anti-microbial, and anti-inflammatory properties.
Alpha-lipoic acid: Powerful water and oil soluable antioxidant. 400 times more powerful than Vitamin C as an antioxidant. Increases gluathione, the body's most important antioxidant. Powerful anti-inflammatory.
Amino acid surfactants: Helps water penetrate the skin. Amino Acids are the body's building blocks of protein.
Amino-guanidine: Helps to prevent sugar from crystallizing on collagen fibrils, keeping the skin soft and supple. From mushrooms.
Apple purée: Soothing, anti-inflammatory.
Aqua: Distilled water.
Astaxanthin: Enhances immune response and reduces inflammation. From the microalgae H. pluvialis, grown in Hawaii.
Avobenzone: UVA protection.
Beeswax: Natural wax, produced by bees, used as emulsifier.
Behenyl alcohol: A mixture of fatty alcohols acting as a binder, emulsion stabilizer, thickener and emulsifier. From vegetable oil.
Bergamot essential oil: AKA Citrus Bergamia has a sweet fruity odor with an uplifting effect.
Beta carotene: Powerful antioxidant with photo-protection properties. From carrots.
Bilberry: Powerful antioxidant.
Bisabol: A myrrh-type gum resin obtained from Africa. Anti-inflammatory, reduces sensitivity, wound healer, anti-burn, anti-irritant, and soothing.
Bitter orange extract: Anti-septic, healing, clarifying.
Blue malva extract: Anti-inflammatory, humectant.
Blueberry purée: Soothing, high concentration of antioxidants.
Butcher's broom extract: Increases circulation and inhibits inflammation. From a shrub native to Europe.
Calendula: Anti-inflammatory and antioxidant commonly used to treat problem and acne skin. From the marigold flower.
Caprylate/caprate: Emollient and solvent from coconut milk.
Caprylic/capric triglycerides: Emollient and solvent from coconut milk.
Cassia beta-glucan: Retains moisture in the skin, leaves the skin like velvet. From seeds of the Cassia Augustif Olia Vahl fruit.
Castor oil: Barrier agent against harsh climate, soothing. From the castor bean.
Cellulose: The cell wall and structural component of plants. Used as a thickener and emulsifier in creams and lotions.
Ceteareth-20: An emollient and emulsifier from coconut or palm kernel oil.
Cetearyl alcohol: An emulsifying and stabilizing wax produced from the reduction of plant oils and natural waxes. Also an emollient giving viscosity to a finished product.
Cetearyl polyglucose: An emollient from plants.
Cetyl alcohol: An emollient, emulsifier, and thickener produced from palm oil.
Chamomile extract: soothing and calming.
Cherry extract: Antioxidant.
Cherry purée: Soothing, anti-inflammatory.
Chlorophyll: Nourishing, detoxifying and healing.
Cholesteryl stearate/carbonate complex: Emollient that is protective and moisturizing from plants.
Cocamidopropyl hydroxysultaine: Mild bubbling agent from coconut.
Coco-caprylate/caprate: A lubricant, skin conditioner, anti-microbial emollient. From coconut.
Coconut methyl glycine: A sudsing agent from coconut.
Coconut oil: Moisturizer.
Cone flower: Anti-inflammatory, antiseptic.
CoQ10: A powerful antioxidant.
Corn silk extract: Natural emollient from corn silk.
Cucumber: Moisture-binding, tightening, refreshing properties. Good for relieving puffy eyes.
D-alpha tocopherol: Vitamin E is a powerful antioxidant, free radical scavenger, photo-protectant, and moisturizer as well as a preservative due to its ability to protect against oxidation.
D-beta fructan: Chains of glucose molecules from date palm that boost immunity of the skin and build moisture.
D-beta glucosamine: An amino sugar that is the basic building block for all chitins, mucopolysaccarides, e.g. hyluronic acid. This sugar works with D-glucuronic to help the skin build mucopolysaccharides. This right-handed chitin sugar supplies nitrogen to the skin's network of signaling molecules for accurate communication between the cells, keeping the epidermis in tighter alignment with the dermis. From Chinese Foxglove.
D-boldine: Anti-inflammatory, antioxidant from the South American Boldo plant.
D-ceramides: Skin conditioner, provides protective skin barrier, repairing, hydrating. From plant source.
D-cranberry complex purée: Antioxidant, anti-bacterial.
D-glucuronic acid: Precursor of vitamin C and a humectant.
D-panthenol: Part of the water-soluble vitamin B complex (B-5). Acts as a penetrating moisturizer.
Dicapryl ether: A skin conditioner and emollient from plants.
EGF: Epidermal Growth Factor is a polypeptide (a protein molecule) that stimulates cell repair. From yeast.
Essential oil blend: A blend of natural essential oils and fruit extracts and oils.
Ethyl alcohol: Used medicinally as a topical antiseptic astringent and anti-bacterial.
Fructose and natural fatty acids: A natural emulsifier.
Fruit enzymes: Skin refining properties. Protein (keratin) digesting enzymes that have the ability to digest dead skin cells on the surface of the skin, revealing a smooth, fresh appearance.
Geranium oil: Refreshing, anti-irritant. From the geranium plant.
Ginkgo: Antioxidant.
Ginseng: Healing properties, helps increase circulation.
Glycerin: A humectant and emollient from plants. It absorbs moisture from the air, and helps keep moisture in creams and other products.
Glycerol: A glycerin alcohol. See Glycerin.
Glyceryl stearate: An emulsifier that assists in forming neutral, stable emulsions. It is also a solvent, humectant, and consistency regulator in water-in-oil and oil-in-water formulations. Derived from palm kernel or soy oil for cosmetic use. It also is found naturally in the human body.
Glycolic acid polymer: An AHA (alpha hydroxy acid) from rhubarb. It is less irritating than glycolic acid with properties of dissolving the binders (glue) that hold dead skin cells together.
Gotu kola extract: Also called the "longevity plant" due to its ability to speed cellular renewal and increase longevity.
Grape seed extract: Counter irritant with soothing anti-bacterial properties.
Grape seed oil: Counter irritant with soothing anti-bacterial properties.
Organic Grapefruit essential oil: Uplifting, refreshing.
Green tea: A powerful antioxidant.
Guava fruit extract: Aromartherapeutic.
Hamamelis extract: AKA witch hazel. Anti-inflammatory, wound healing, non-drying, anti-itching, softening, with emollient properties that soothe irritated skin. Found to be effective against free radicals. From the leaves and bark of the plant.
Heavy water: This 10% heavier than water naturally occurs in a few saline lakes and in deep sea water. It bonds more strongly than regular water with the skin and other connective tissue preventing the skin from drying out as quickly or as deeply. Nutrients applied while the skin is still damp with the heavy water de-ionized molecule will also be better absorbed.
Hemp oil: A rich source of the fatty acids that the skin uses.
Honey: Moisturizing and anti-bacterial.
Honey enzymes: These enzymes have natural emollient, humectant, anti-bacterial, and protein digesting properties.
Honeydew extract: Soothing and uplifting
Horse chestnut: Firming, calming, redness-reducing effects on the skin.
Horsetail extract: Horsetail is an herb that yields a high concentration of silica and other minerals. Silica promotes the re-growth, strength and elasticity of connective tissue
Hydrolized yeast protein: Helps regulate sebum production. Revitalizes skin's moisture and reduces facial lines.
Jojoba beads: Exfoliating beads that loosen and lift away dead skin cells without damaging skin. From the jojoba plant.
Kokum butter: Emollient, stabilizer, from kernels of garcinia indica tree in India.
L-ascorbic acid: Powerful antioxidant, the chirally correct form of vitamin C that assists in the production of collagen.
L-castor oil methyl glycol: An emollient from castor oil beans.
L-lactic acid: Encourages protein softening and cell-turnover, anti-microbial, evens out discoloration, gently clarifying.
L-lysine: Amino acid helps prevent and heal fever blisters.
L-malic acid: Promotes better circulation and healthier capillaries in the skin.
L-mandelic acid: Humectant, skin conditioner, antioxidant.
L-sodium hyaluronate: Hyaluronic acid in chiral form. A mucopoly fructose from honey. This powerful humectant draws water from the ambient air.
L-tartaric acid: Powerful antioxidant from wine, enhances effects of Malic Acid.
Laurel berry derivatives: From European laurel berry with cleansing and foaming properties.
Lavender essential oil: Balancing, energizing, soothing, healing, and stimulating.
Lecithin: A natural emollient, emulsifier, antioxidant, and spreading agent, with a hydrophilic ingredient that attracts water and acts as a moisturizer.
Organic Lemongrass essential oil: Essential oil from organic lemongrass with purifying, refreshing, and hydrating effects.
Licorice: Anti-inflammatory, antioxidant, skin lightener.
Lycopene: A powerful antioxidant.
Lycopene extract: Powerful antioxidant, anti-carcinogenic; enhances communications between cells in the organs and tissues.
Madagascar vanilla bean extract: Aromatherapeutic.
Mallow extract: Anti-inflammatory, soothing, refreshing emollient containing high mucilage content. When in contact with water, produces a soothing protective gel.
Melissa: Soothing, anti-viral. From the mint family.
Minerals: Used for their softening effect.
Mulberry bark extract: Astringent and clarifying.
Neroli essential oil: Neroli essential oil is suitable for the care of ever skin type, including sensitive and inflamed skin. It supports the skin's renewal process of shedding old skin and stimulating new cell growth. From the orange blossom.
Nutmeg essential oil: Warming and comforting effect with antioxidant and antiseptic properties.
Olive oil: Great carrier oil with excellent lubricating qualities.
Orange essential oil: Oil of sweet orange, distilled from the rind. Antiseptic and anti-inflammatory.
Oxygen: An organic peroxide that supplies oxygen fuel. (tissue respiration). Brightening and a mild antiseptic.
Passionflower: Antioxidant, soothing.
Patchouli essential oil: Balances oily/acne skin. Also heals cracked dry hands and feet.
PBN: Very powerful antioxidant. Instead of destroying the rogue oxygen (free radical), it traps it then exports it into the respiratory cycle where it is utilized in tissue respiration. Also known as phenyl-butyl-nitrate or Spin Trap. Source is the Chenopodium plant.
Phenylbenzimidazole-5-sulfonic acid: A non-toxic sunscreen.
Phospholipids: Reduces moisture loss in the skin, carrier for deep penetration, from plant source. Pineapple enzymes: Exfoliant, skin softening.
Pineapple extract: Contains bromelain, a keratin-digesting enzyme.
Polydatin: Powerful antioxidant, moisturizing and firming. From wine.
Pomegranate extract: Exfoliant, skin-softening.
Propolis: Protective barrier, anti-inflammatory, stimulates cell renewal, boosts immune system, made by bees.
Pumpkin enzymes: Exfoliant, skin softening.
Pumpkin purée: A nutrient dense pulp containing a high concentration of vitamin A and is a great source of retinol.
Pumpkin seed oil: Excellent source of minerals, especially zinc. It helps skin renew as it moisturizes. Essential fatty acids help regulate sebum production.
Pumpkin wine: An antioxidant and nutrient-rich wine from enzymatically pre-digested pumpkins.
Raspberry extract: Antiseptic, anti-bacterial.
Red grape seed extract: Potent antioxidant from polyphenol content.
Red wine: Antioxidant, protects the dermis from epithelialatrophy and promotes evenness of skin color.
Resveratrol: Powerful antioxidant from wine.
Retinol: Vitamin A carotenoids with antioxidant and skin renewing properties.
Retinol/glycolic acid polymer: Promotes healthy glycine production for collagen and elastin and renews and repairs tissues.
Rosehips: Soothing, astringent, high Vitamin C content, from the rose bush.
Rye polyglucose: Firming and strengthening of the skin.
Salicylic acid: Softens the keratinized barrier cells, anti-bacterial, helps eliminate clogged pores, beta-hydroxy acid responsible for oxygenating and detoxifying.
Sandalwood Essential Oil: Calming, harmonic and balancing effect.
Scrub beads: Smooth, round polyethylene beads help loosen and lift away dead skin cells without damaging skin.
Sea algae: Contains the same essential nutrients, trace elements, and amino acids present in human blood plasma. It speeds the elimination of toxins from cells and is a natural cellular renewal ingredient.
Seaweed extract: Iodine and sulfur amino acid content stimulate anti-inflammatory and disinfectant abilities while moisturizing properties are attributed to its ability to react with protein and form a protective gel on the skin's surface. Re-mineralizing to the skin.
Shea butter: A moisturizing, soothing emollient fat with cellular renewal properties from the fat of the karite nut tree.
Silicone: From silica, a naturally occurring mineral, with a softening effect on the skin.
Sphingolipids (D-ceramides): Moisturizing, working with the cellular system in providing a restorative effect on damaged or disturbed stratum corneum layer.
Squalane: Nutrient dense oil present in human sebum, skin 's own moisturizer, and involved in the process of cell growth. From Spanish olives.
Stevia leaf extract: Natural, non-caloric sweetener. From the chrysanthemum family.
Succinic acid derivatives: From lichens. A buffer, neutralizer, and germicide.
Sucrose stearate: A combination of sucrose and stearic acid. Stearic acid occurs naturally in butter acids, and cascarilla bark. Acts as a lubricant.
Sulfosuccinate: Mild bubbling agent from coconut.
Super concentrated pumpkin extract: A nutrient dense pulp with enzymes containing a high concentration of vitamin A to assist skin renewal and healing.
Organic Tangerine essential oil: Refreshing, uplifting.
Organic Tea tree oil: Anti-bacterial and anti-fungal.
Titanium dioxide: A physical sun block that blocks UVA and UVB radiation; Soothing, softening, healing. In addition, it is a powerful Anti-bacterial.
Totarol™: A naturally occurring plant extract with potent anti-bacterial and antioxidant properties. Propionibacterium acne, the bacterium involved in acne, is particularly sensitive to this extract. Totarol is effective in the treatment of acne and rosacea. From the Totara tree in New Zealand.
Turmeric: Derived from an East Indian herb. Turmeric is a yellow coloring agent with anti-inflammatory and antioxidant properties.
Vanilla: Soothing, uplifting aroma.
Vitamin E: See D-alpha tocopherol. Antioxidant with skin moisturizing properties.
White willow bark extract: Anti-inflamatory, pain reliever.
Wild cherry bark extract: Soothing and anti-inflammatory.
Wine phytoalexins: Powerful antioxidants from wine produced from grapes.
Witch hazel: Anti-inflammatory, wound healing, non-drying, anti-itching, softening, with emollient properties that soothe irritated skin. Found to be effective against free radicals. From the leaves and bark of the plant.
Xanthum gum: AKA cornstarch gum. Serves as a texturizer, carrier agent, and gelling agent. Also stabilizes and thickens formulations.
Yucca saponins extract: anti-irritant from the yucca plant.
Zeolite: Crystalline hydrated silicates from volcanoes. Molecular cages trap and remove heavy metal pollutants, makeup and dirt. Crystalline hydrated silicates 'trap' heavy metal pollutants.
Zinc oxide: A physical (reflective) sun block that blocks UVA and UVB radiation.
Zirconium oxide: A physical (reflective) sun block that blocks UVA and UVB radiation.

facial products i use

http://lylahledner.blogspot.com/2008/04/facial-products-i-use.html

how you relate to your dad is probably how you relate to your husband

Relating to Husband, Relating to Dad

How you related (or didn't relate) to your dad has set you up to how you relate (or didn't relate) to your dad (or don't relate) to your husband. Understanding the patterns of how you related to your dad will help reveal the present patterns of how you relate to your husband or how you will relate to a future husband.

If you related to your dad in an unhealthy way (probably modeled by your mother and haven't yet resolved the past and don't understand the Bible way to do so), then you'll probably have some issues to work through so you can relate to your husband biblically.

Any "unbiblical messages" from dad will be the "grid" in which you operate in your marriage. If these "unbiblical messages" aren't recognized, chances are you might be tearing down your house by emasculating your husband by controlling or mothering him (ignorantly). Perhaps you're stepping into his arenas of God-given responsibilities.

When girls don't get the God-intended building blocks (especially from Dad), they tend to grow up feeling insecure and unprotected. They grow up feeling unacceptable with little value. This girl will become a woman who will potentially struggle with body image, self-nurturing tendencies (shopping, eating), controlling tendencies, or even an imbalanced dependency on men or an imbalanced independence from men. She will most likely look for love in all the wrong places and give herself sexually before marriage.

The precious woman will probably get good at manipulation and control because of the turmoil of hurt and resentment will leave her too vulnerable if she doesn't self-protect through controlling her outside world.

This woman might struggle with competing rather than complementing her husband and thus begin to tear her house down with her own hands (Proverbs 14:1).

She'll tend to marry a man who is passive or passive-aggressive (both angry men) who don't understand let alone live out their biblical manhood job description. It will be an angry marriage where often the relational dynamics are like father/child. She might end up being with a dominate abuser because she isn't aware of her own value and worth as a woman. Her husband doesn't see her as a gift either.

These can be some "rotten fruits" of undealt with father wounds for women. God loves women. He grieves but women struggle with getting there. It's not until someone tells her that she needs to take a look at the inner turmoil that aches in her soul because of some of dad's missing building blocks.

The Fix?
The Fix can be a long, slow one and it's "fixed" through relationships. We get damaged in relationships and we get healed in healing relationships. Women heal with women and men heal with men.

The first steps are to learn what it means to be accepted and loved by God just as we are. We are glorious (yet fallen) Image Bearers. We are cleansed Daughters. It's Jesus that made us beautiful for the Father.

Next in the steps of healing are to be taught right doctrine and to have a right (biblical) view of God, of self, of others. We need to understand how to do relationships biblically.

Women need to understand what appropriate boundaries are, how to rightly respect (and understand the principles on the Princess Pathway, accept others where they are at, believe the best and even release others to grow on their own. I'd also say that a woman needs to see herself as His Princess and she need to learn His dance for her - with Him. That dance is such an anchor in a moment of pain.

Prayer is key to walking a healing path. Journaling is also needed (you can only view this in Explorer). Creating safe places with safe people who will "hear the heart" to undo the blocks around the heart is imperative. In a sense we allow God to give back to us the blocks we didn't get by being in a relationship with safe people and by allowing ourselves to become vulnerable with one or more trusted women who will "hear our case and NOT fix us."

A woman must also take authority back from those she's allowed to define her. Anyone who you seek to "people-please" you'll tend to live by their rules and their yardstick rather than live by Gods. If we don't live by how God defines us, we'll stay stuck. A woman must learn to love and accept herself the way her Abba Father does.

Finally, but definitely not conclusively, a woman must learn about her feminine design and she must understand what her own biblical job description is. And, if you're really having a hard time with all this, then a personal, biblical life coach, like my friend, Linda might be needed.

how you relate to your dad is probably how you relate to your husband

http://lylahledner.blogspot.com/2008/04/how-you-relate-to-your-dad-is-probably.html

girls...you've got to add vita d to your calcium

Arriving at the mid-fifty year old age bracket, I know the risks of osteoporosis and have faithfully taken my calcium.

Well, a few months ago I had a blood test and for some reason was deficient.

That's not good. I faithfully take 1200 mg of good calcium daily. So, the reason for my deficiency? Lack of Vitamin D.


Check this news wire out:
ORLANDO, Fla., Mar 27, 2008 (BUSINESS WIRE) -- New data indicates an aggressive Vitamin D treatment plan should be considered when caring for all Osteoporosis patients. Doing so may help decrease their likelihood of developing Vitamin D deficiency. These findings will be presented at the American Association of Clinical Endocrinologists (AACE) 17th Annual Meeting & Clinical by Harinder Singh, MD on Friday, May 16th at the Walt Disney World Dolphin Resort in Orlando.

"Our research suggests that Vitamin D deficiency is quite prevalent in patients with Osteoporosis," Dr. Singh said. "Much more so than was originally believed."
Singh will present how his research showed an alarming rate of Vitamin D deficiency amongst patients being treated for Osteoporosis and furthermore, how it should be met with an "aggressive" treatment regimen.

Research on the topics of Vitamin D and Osteoporosis will be a major highlight at this year's meeting. Two major sessions include "Osteoporosis: What's New and What's Next," where AACE Member Nelson Watts MD, FACP, MACE will discuss a possible once-a-year treatment for Osteoporosis. The other session, "Vitamin D Deficiency: A Near Universal Health Problem," will focus on how adequate vitamin D intake may help reduce the severity of chronic endocrine-related diseases.

Puritan Pride is an excellent company that offers 15 cents on shipping for all orders AND a buy 2 get 3 free. Such a deal.

girls...you've got to add vita d to your calcium

http://lylahledner.blogspot.com/2008/04/girlsyouve-got-to-add-vita-d-to-your.html

Seems Like Sex is On a Few Wives Minds

Spring fever is in the air - a few (wives) moms are thinking (and posting) about SEX. Jess at Making it Home writes about being sexy for your husband and Fussypants writes: "Go ahead lock the bedroom door, forget your obsession with the size of your behind and have some fun. You are married after all, enjoy yourself. We all feel happier and more connected with regular lovin?"

Apparently regular lovin' will help keep the emotional connection strong and it will lengthen your husband's lifespan. I'll let you be the judge if you choose to share this research study with your other half.

"A study shows that men who have three or more orgasms a week are 50 percent less likely to die from coronary and the rest you can read here.

As the seasoned woman of these two (ahh . . hem) I would add these thoughts to consider:
1. Sex starts in the kitchen and the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Make soup and make cookies.
2. Treat him like a king. Create romantic at the table. I love what Amy did here.
3. Listen to him. Don't assume you know what this man is thinking or feeling or wants. Listen!
4. Make him your priority. I know this is a (at times) a task. You're tired, overwhelmed, emotionally spent and to make him the priority seems nuts. It's in those very moments that perhaps we need grab God's grace, slow down, and turn toward him.
5. Create sanctuary in your bedroom.
6. Attend to your feminine soul.
7. Reflect on why you married him and what it was that drew you to him.

So, I'd love your thoughts . . . what should 8, 9 and 10 be?

Related Posts
1. A Little Love Story
2. Some of the Things Michael and I Do For Fun
3. Steps to Sexual Intimacy
4. Marriage Matters

Seems Like Sex is On a Few Wives Minds

http://lylahledner.blogspot.com/2008/02/seems-like-sex-is-on-few-wives-minds.html