Saturday, November 29, 2008

keeping kids busy - while watching t.v.

So, what rationale does a mom have to let her kids watch brain cell wasting t.v. (or at least much of it is). Get their hands busy folding laundry!

IF kiddos watch t.v. it's always with a pile of laundry in front of them. They become the engine (folding the clothes) that keeps the t.v. going. Once they disengage their sweet little hands from folding the clothes, the t.v. goes off.

I LOVE . . . let me repeat WE LOVE this. The adults on the home front always get a little chuckle out of the scene. Check it out:







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Friday, November 28, 2008

doulas - extra help for moms

The documentary The Business of Giving Birth presents the case for women helping women.

Blogger mom of A Much Better blog affirms this in her post on the role a doula can play: absolutely wonderful addition to the modern, medical birthing environment. They are proven to reduce a number of unnecessary interventions, including cesarean. They offer emotional support and in my instances, doulas will gently remind a woman who is being coerced into unnecessary procedures about her original intentions. . .

I witnessed firsthand the beauty of the relationship between a laboring mother and her doula with the home birth of my darling sister-in-law, BreAnna.

My friend Alisa (an experienced doula having given birth to eight herself) became my younger daughter's doula for the birth of her third little one.

I'd love your thoughts on home births, having a doula and midwives.

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Thursday, November 27, 2008

you get only one guess


You get only one guess to figure out what the guys are "doing" after bellies are filled with Turkey dinner. Just one guess.

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you get only two guesses



I'll give you two guesses to figure out what I and the fam were doing after the kids were down to bed and the six of us were just hanging "around" the kitchen table! Two guesses, that's all you get! I do admit though that for just a moment, I was spacing out from the task at hand visiting Ree at Pioneer Woman.

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the spendid table


For the woman who is ready to rethink a glorious role as the heart of the home - reclaiming and igniting the hub of her home - the kitchen.

For the woman who is ready to engage her (Godly) power of influence to change the world around her.

For the women who fought so hard to get out of the kitchen and are ready to embrace food and see it as politics, humor, satire, history, hospitality, entertainment and a sweet challenge.

For the younger women whose mothers never taught them the glory of the kitchen and the art of gentle cooking.

The Splendid Table will rock your world and change your life and ignite a sweet passion - one that will be sure to grace you to leave a legacy that will begin to matter.

For the value of the table read this. For a few table top scapes go here and here.

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Tuesday, November 25, 2008

The Power of the Bedroom - Sex Talk


I read once that every room has a mission. If you were writing a mission statement for your home what would it be? A woman’s home is an extension of her feminine soul…and it’s God-given creativity. Take a minute and walk around your home. The mission statement I'd give of my home is Celebrate Life. Even in the days where it's in a bit of a disarray, I can say that.

Head toward your bedroom.

What would the mission statement of your bedroom be? Does your bedroom say – Come on honey, let’s CELEBRATE? Is your bedroom uncluttered, as beautiful as can be, fragrant . . . like a sanctuary?

My heart is to create sanctuary and after a woman tends to her kitchen and brings order there, I'd say the master bedroom is next. I wrote about the importance in creating Sanctuary in the Master Bedroom here.

Read Hebrews 13:4. Write it down in a journal.

It IS the place where your husband comes to pursue you…

Don't let EVERYONE in Your Bedroom
I can remember when my spiritual mother told me to make our master bedroom a place of beauty and a place of sanctuary. I think of it as being the room where two lovers unite their souls as one in a sweet expression of intimacy. I'm VERY careful who comes into our bedroom. Guests rarely use our private bathroom. It's important to me to keep our room - our room (OK, except when you have 5+ grandkiddos). But, when do have a lock on our door!

Nancy (my spiritual mother) would always say that it is important for the room that to have order, look beautiful and smell lovely.

Take a second look in your bedroom. What’s it like? Is there any room for improvement? Is your ironing board in your bedroom or how about a pile of laundry waiting to be folded?

What’s the smell factor of your bedroom? Is it time to see what you can do to pretty it up?

Little Touches Make a Difference
Even if you’re on a no-budget fix up—you can still get creative with what you might have in other rooms—pillows, lighting, silk flowers, and candles. What about changing the room around? Can you repaint or wallpaper? Can you add some new curtains or a comforter? What can you do to make it a bit more romantic?

Eliminate Distractions
The first thing you can do is to eliminate distractions in the bedroom. The TV is anathema to romance. It’s a good idea to keep the bedroom free of work, computers and any thing else that would distract you.

A Sanctuary of Communion, Rest and Romance
Our master bedrooms are to be a sanctuary of communion and rest and romance—not a work place. I understand that at times there are extenuating circumstances, but if at all possible shut things off so rest and romance flow through the room.

Cap off the Day
I've been doing a sleep deprivation study and have learned that our bodies/minds don't heal if we stay up much past 10 PM. We personal make it a goal to be in bed - lights out before then. It's just healthier. It allows for pillow chat time mixed it with other good stuff.

Celebrating the Sanctuary of Love
Now that you’re CELEBRATING the sanctuary of love - and you're getting my drift. Let's do an attitude check.

Is your attitude toward sex one that says, “YES! Let’s CELEBRATE?”
Can you be sexy for your husband and what would that look like?
And, have you taken the 30 Day Sex Challenge?

Celebrate Sex
Attitude about sex is everything. God has an “attitude” about sex and women would do well to line their attitude up with his. What is your attitude about sex? Is sex on your mind? Take some time and write out your attitudes in your journal.

Attitude has to do with an inward feeling expressed with an outward behavior. “As a woman thinks—so she does.” The Bible says that out of the heart the mouth speaks. Whatever attitude we have as wives have will come out in what we do and what we say. If our “attitude” isn’t a God “attitude” then there’s great potential to deeply wound our man with our words and actions.

This sexual arena is a very “tender” one for our men.

One of God’s Attitudes Expressed in 1 Corinthians 7:3-5
I'd suggest to read that passage and write it out in your journal.

Duty or Delight
That word “duty” can throw many women off balance. It has the idea of not depriving each other by taking back what has already been promised—the Celebration of Sex. That passage is saying that we have the right, the privilege, and the responsibility to please each other in the marriage bed.

Space and purpose here in this post won’t allow for my dissertation on the Celebration of Sex, instead an excellent book to read is Intimate Issues by Linda Dillow and Lorraine Pintus.

As you seek to “get” a “God attitude” about sex, consider what voices you’ve heard in the past that conflict and have caused confusion about sex. Media will be a confusing voice, your mom might have been a confusing voice, the girl friends down the street might have been a wrong voice too. Those voices are good to get in touch with. God’s voice matters.

Sex and it’s CELEBRATION is about God—not about us.

Prayer
LORD, You say that the marriage bed is holy and undefiled (Hebrews 13:4). I thank You that this is Your idea. I thank You that You created us to enjoy one another (Song of Solomon 7:6).

LORD, You have made my husband a sexual being. You have made me a sexual being. I pray that You would help me change any wrong thinking I have toward this Celebration of Marriage that is a gift.

Father, grace us to gain an understanding of one another's distinct physical
differences and help us to appreciate these differences rather than be irritated by them.

LORD, help me to completely give myself to my husband and to fully enjoy our times of lovemaking. Help me to release everything from my mind and to enter into our times of lovemaking with one focus—the pleasure of intimacy in this realm of romantic love (Song of Solomon 8:13-14).

Father, bless my husband's sexuality. I pray that he would become strong and . . . .you fill in the blank!



Please Post Optionsdont' forget to vote for this blog here.

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red box - it's movie night!


Find redbox new releases for this week. Click here!

Find a redbox

NEW RELEASES:
Hancock

In real life he's a public relations fantasy! A one-man brand! But in Hancock, Will Smith plays a superhero who's grown lazy, misunderstood, and fallen altogether out public favor – that is, until a scrappy publicist (Jason Bateman) convinces Hancock it'll only take a few heroic deeds to become popular and trusted again.

Reserve Online

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fuses that hinder intimacy in marriage

Marriage is obviously a key theme on the Lylah Blog. It's the subject that I am passionate to discuss and to disciple young women in.

One of the things that makes marriage difficult are those unresolved conflicts. Sure conflicts will arise but what do you do when the conflict is over the same issue and it never seems to get resolved?

Unresolved conflicts hinder intimacy in marriage and when marital love (great sex) wanes, the door of temptations can open.

I think of conflicts like bombs in a marriage. And, bombs have a fuse, so the idea is to get to understand what the frequent fuse is so you can put it out before the bomb explodes. So how do you diffuse that bomb before it ignites? What are some possible fuses that ignite them.

Here's some possible fuses in your marriage:

The first fuse is a lack of skill to listen. Listening is a skill to be learned and held like a precious gift. True listening – to hear the words of the heart – takes work. It only takes one in the marriage to really learn to listen.

Good listening can de-fuse a bomb. Don’t wait for you husband to listen to you – you get started and begin to listen to him. This has to be your attitude – that you make it your responsibility to hear his voice, his words, his heart and the language he uses.

Most of us women love to talk – but what about listening. I heard a quote recently, "There is not greater lie than a truth misunderstood."

Men speak a different language than women. They are typically linear in thought processes while we as women are integrated meaning we can generally integrate feelings and facts at the same time.

Men generally have to process facts before facing feelings and women generally – have to process feelings before they can face facts.

As a wife – discover and renew all those good reasons to praise your man – especially before you give him your well-thought out and prayed about suggestions for his improvement. Practice the James principle – found in James 1:19 -be quick to listen, sloooooowwwww to speak and slow to anger and if you do get angry – don’t sin in it and if you do sin in your anger – deal with it – confess and repent before the next day is over.

We do well when we quiet the myriad of thoughts and feelings in our feminine souls to hear even his choice of words – the tone of his voice and even observe his body language. Men, generally, use fewer words. If we’re not careful and don’t listen – we’ll miss all of them.

Listening is not only a bomb de-fuser – but it’s a tool for intimacy. A good friend is a listener and I read once that the basic ingredients for a good marriage – which has sweet intimacy – is friendship plus sex.

Components of intimacy include closeness, bonding, warmth and affection, openness and honesty. If good listening skills aren’t learned and practiced then intimacy has a weak platform on which to develop and thrive.

When listening – avoid mind-reading – don’t assume you know what your husband is thinking or feeling. He’s the author of what he’s saying.

Failure to understand the message is the beginnings of a fuse for a big bomb. Some other fuses within communication can be poor timing, any non-verbal signals that conflict with verbal messages, all sarcasm and all threats.

So, go - look your man in the eyes and listen to his heart - not necessarily his words.

Don't forget to vote for this blog here.

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when times are hard

When times are hard and confusing, I find comfort and courage in surrounding myself with memories and stuff that legacies are made of. Reflecting backwards has a way of anchoring me so that I can grab grace that moves me forward into some of the hard life places.

Recently, I was thinking about my Grandfather (actually, I think about him alot!). And one story came to mind that for some reason, I've been clinging to.

After WWI, Germany and it's people were "punished" for all the damage they did against other countries. Part of that punishment was the rationing of food. Grandfather remembered well the days where all he had to eat was one half of a potato. Today, I look at a potato and am thankful for the plenty I have.

When life is hard, look backwards to those who've gone before you. Reflect on their stories and gain strength to go forward. These days I hold on to those stories from Grandfather's hard days. I also cling to the truths and promise I find in my Book. I read those stories of saints gone before me and those who are a cloud of witnesses and it's there also that I find comfort and courage in days that are confusing.

What about you?

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limited time holilday offers














Red Envelop is one of my favorite places to take a beauty pause.

RedEnvelope.com is gearing up for Thanksgiving, Black Friday, and Cyber Monday by offering an exclusive $10 off on orders $75 and greater 11/27 - 12/3. In addition, receive free shipping on orders $75 and more, and save an additional 10% site wide through 12/31. A link has been provided to the special Black Friday sale on 11/28. Orders must be placed through the link provided to trigger the discount.

These Black Friday specials just came in. There just might be something small and special for that someone special!

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thanksgiving week red plum picks

Some great deals!

The Puma Store - Save 20% Plus Free Shipping
On orders over $85. Offer ends 11/30.
Use code: AF28

E.L.F. Cosmetics -Items for only $1 Each!
Plus $2 shipping on orders over $20. Offer ends 11/30. Use code: EGSHIPBJ


My Wines Direct - Save $15 Plus Free Shipping On the Member Favorites pack. Ends 12/1. Use code: CYBERSAVE

Sephora.com - Free Shipping on Orders of $25 or More
Use code: SHIPFREE25

ThingsRemembered.com - 10% off any Order
Ends 12/2. Use code: XMAS10

Fashion Bug - Save $10 on Your Purchase of $50 or More
Or save $15 on your purchase of $75. Ends 11/30. Use code: 776236705

Gaiam.com - Free Shipping on Orders of $45
Gaiam is the leading source for natural living products online. Ends 12/2. Use code: AFGAS


ESPRIT - Get 10% Off
Also check out their outlet store for prices up to 70% off. Ends 12/31. Use code: ESP12

GourmetGiftBasket.com - Get $5 off Orders of $50 or More
Ends 11/30. Use code: Fall5

GreatFood.com - Take 15% off Your Total Purchase
Save on delicious gourmet food including cheeses, wines, ready-to-serve ham, seasonal chestnuts and much more to enhance your Thanksgiving feast! Use code: RP15



RedPlum's Holiday Gift Idea Articles:


Our Top 11 (Affordable!) Kid Gifts of 2009

Gift-able Gadgets Under $30

Our Favorite Foodie Gift Idea Ever!

3 Gift Ideas for Money-Strapped Friends

More Cheap & Chic Gift Ideas!

Coupon Codes Coupon Codes:

The Puma Store - Save 20% Plus Free Shipping
On orders over $85. Offer ends 11/30.
Use code: AF28

E.L.F. Cosmetics -Items for only $1 Each!
Plus $2 shipping on orders over $20. Offer ends 11/30. Use code: EGSHIPBJ

My Wines Direct - Save $15 Plus Free Shipping On the Member Favorites pack. Ends 12/1. Use code: CYBERSAVE

Sephora.com - Free Shipping on Orders of $25 or More
Use code: SHIPFREE25

ThingsRemembered.com - 10% off any Order
Ends 12/2. Use code: XMAS10

Fashion Bug - Save $10 on Your Purchase of $50 or More
Or save $15 on your purchase of $75. Ends 11/30. Use code: 776236705

1-800 CONTACTS - Get $8 off your Purchase of $85 or More
Plus Free shipping. Choose from a wide variety of contacts, all at what's guaranteed to be the lowest price available online. Any other rebate offers will still apply. Ends 11/30 Use code: REDPLUM1041

Gaiam.com - Free Shipping on Orders of $45
Gaiam is the leading source for natural living products online. Ends 12/2. Use code: AFGAS

ESPRIT - Get 10% Off
Also check out their outlet store for prices up to 70% off. Ends 12/31. Use code: ESP12

GourmetGiftBasket.com - Get $5 off Orders of $50 or More
Ends 11/30. Use code: Fall5

Hallmark.com - Save 20% on Orders of $20 or More
Save on holiday cards. Use code: CHEER20

FragranceX - 10% off Your Entire Purchase Plus Free Shipping
Best place to find online deals for colognes and perfumes. Prices are already up to 80% off. Use code: REDPLUM

GreatFood.com - Take 15% off Your Total Purchase
Save on delicious gourmet food including cheeses, wines, ready-to-serve ham, seasonal chestnuts and much more to enhance your Thanksgiving feast! Use code: RP15

Online Deals:

PeaPod - Get $10 in FREE Groceries
When you sign up for grocery delivery. Use code: CJA2

Crabtree & Evelyn - Get 50% Off
Check out the amazing items on sale for 50 - 75% off at Crabtree & Evelyn. Get great gifts for the holidays or for yourself. Hurry, this sale ends on 11/30!

New York & Company -15% off Purchases of $75 or More
Exclusive to RedPlum users only! No coupon code needed. Offer found through this link.

Limited Too - Save 25%
Just click and your discount will be automatically applied. Ends 12/10.

eToys - Free Shipping on Over 1,000 Items
Find great deals on top selling toys, PLUS get free shipping!

Netflix - Free Trial
Over 100,000 DVD titles, free delivery, no late charges, ever. Starts at only $4.95.


Crabtree & Evelyn - Get 50% Off
Check out the amazing items on sale for 50 - 75% off at Crabtree & Evelyn. Get great gifts for the holidays or for yourself. Hurry, this sale ends on 11/30!

New York & Company -15% off Purchases of $75 or More
Exclusive to RedPlum users only! No coupon code needed. Offer found through this link.

Limited Too - Save 25%
Just click and your discount will be automatically applied. Ends 12/10.

eToys - Free Shipping on Over 1,000 Items
Find great deals on top selling toys, PLUS get free shipping!

Netflix - Free Trial
Over 100,000 DVD titles, free delivery, no late charges, ever. Starts at only $4.95.




RedPlum's Holiday Gift Idea Articles:


Our Top 11 (Affordable!) Kid Gifts of 2009

Gift-able Gadgets Under $30

Our Favorite Foodie Gift Idea Ever!

3 Gift Ideas for Money-Strapped Friends

More Cheap & Chic Gift Ideas!

Coupon Codes Coupon Codes:

The Puma Store - Save 20% Plus Free Shipping
On orders over $85. Offer ends 11/30.
Use code: AF28

E.L.F. Cosmetics -Items for only $1 Each!
Plus $2 shipping on orders over $20. Offer ends 11/30. Use code: EGSHIPBJ

My Wines Direct - Save $15 Plus Free Shipping On the Member Favorites pack. Ends 12/1. Use code: CYBERSAVE

Sephora.com - Free Shipping on Orders of $25 or More
Use code: SHIPFREE25

ThingsRemembered.com - 10% off any Order
Ends 12/2. Use code: XMAS10

Fashion Bug - Save $10 on Your Purchase of $50 or More
Or save $15 on your purchase of $75. Ends 11/30. Use code: 776236705

1-800 CONTACTS - Get $8 off your Purchase of $85 or More
Plus Free shipping. Choose from a wide variety of contacts, all at what's guaranteed to be the lowest price available online. Any other rebate offers will still apply. Ends 11/30 Use code: REDPLUM1041

Gaiam.com - Free Shipping on Orders of $45
Gaiam is the leading source for natural living products online. Ends 12/2. Use code: AFGAS

ESPRIT - Get 10% Off
Also check out their outlet store for prices up to 70% off. Ends 12/31. Use code: ESP12

GourmetGiftBasket.com - Get $5 off Orders of $50 or More
Ends 11/30. Use code: Fall5

Hallmark.com - Save 20% on Orders of $20 or More
Save on holiday cards. Use code: CHEER20

FragranceX - 10% off Your Entire Purchase Plus Free Shipping
Best place to find online deals for colognes and perfumes. Prices are already up to 80% off. Use code: REDPLUM

GreatFood.com - Take 15% off Your Total Purchase
Save on delicious gourmet food including cheeses, wines, ready-to-serve ham, seasonal chestnuts and much more to enhance your Thanksgiving feast! Use code: RP15

Online Deals:

PeaPod - Get $10 in FREE Groceries
When you sign up for grocery delivery. Use code: CJA2

Crabtree & Evelyn - Get 50% Off
Check out the amazing items on sale for 50 - 75% off at Crabtree & Evelyn. Get great gifts for the holidays or for yourself. Hurry, this sale ends on 11/30!

New York & Company -15% off Purchases of $75 or More
Exclusive to RedPlum users only! No coupon code needed. Offer found through this link.

Limited Too - Save 25%
Just click and your discount will be automatically applied. Ends 12/10.

eToys - Free Shipping on Over 1,000 Items
Find great deals on top selling toys, PLUS get free shipping!

Netflix - Free Trial
Over 100,000 DVD titles, free delivery, no late charges, ever. Starts at only $4.95.

Macy's - Buy 1 Men's Item, Get Another at 50% Off
Hurry, offer ends on 11/25 at midnight!

KB Toys - Get $5 off any Order of $100 or more
Offer is valid until 12/31.

PetCareRx.com- Free Shipping on Orders over $35
Save on your pet needs and get free shipping! Ends 11/30.

SmartBargains.com - 20% off Sheets and Duvets
Find great deals on sheets and duvets plus get an extra 20% off until 11/30.


Print-at-Home Grocery Coupons:


RedPlum's Holiday Gift Idea Articles:


Our Top 11 (Affordable!) Kid Gifts of 2009

Gift-able Gadgets Under $30

Our Favorite Foodie Gift Idea Ever!

3 Gift Ideas for Money-Strapped Friends

More Cheap & Chic Gift Ideas!

Coupon Codes Coupon Codes:

The Puma Store - Save 20% Plus Free Shipping
On orders over $85. Offer ends 11/30.
Use code: AF28

E.L.F. Cosmetics -Items for only $1 Each!
Plus $2 shipping on orders over $20. Offer ends 11/30. Use code: EGSHIPBJ

My Wines Direct - Save $15 Plus Free Shipping On the Member Favorites pack. Ends 12/1. Use code: CYBERSAVE

Sephora.com - Free Shipping on Orders of $25 or More
Use code: SHIPFREE25

ThingsRemembered.com - 10% off any Order
Ends 12/2. Use code: XMAS10

Fashion Bug - Save $10 on Your Purchase of $50 or More
Or save $15 on your purchase of $75. Ends 11/30. Use code: 776236705

1-800 CONTACTS - Get $8 off your Purchase of $85 or More
Plus Free shipping. Choose from a wide variety of contacts, all at what's guaranteed to be the lowest price available online. Any other rebate offers will still apply. Ends 11/30 Use code: REDPLUM1041

Gaiam.com - Free Shipping on Orders of $45
Gaiam is the leading source for natural living products online. Ends 12/2. Use code: AFGAS

ESPRIT - Get 10% Off
Also check out their outlet store for prices up to 70% off. Ends 12/31. Use code: ESP12

GourmetGiftBasket.com - Get $5 off Orders of $50 or More
Ends 11/30. Use code: Fall5

Hallmark.com - Save 20% on Orders of $20 or More
Save on holiday cards. Use code: CHEER20

FragranceX - 10% off Your Entire Purchase Plus Free Shipping
Best place to find online deals for colognes and perfumes. Prices are already up to 80% off. Use code: REDPLUM

GreatFood.com - Take 15% off Your Total Purchase
Save on delicious gourmet food including cheeses, wines, ready-to-serve ham, seasonal chestnuts and much more to enhance your Thanksgiving feast! Use code: RP15

Online Deals:

PeaPod - Get $10 in FREE Groceries
When you sign up for grocery delivery. Use code: CJA2

Crabtree & Evelyn - Get 50% Off
Check out the amazing items on sale for 50 - 75% off at Crabtree & Evelyn. Get great gifts for the holidays or for yourself. Hurry, this sale ends on 11/30!

New York & Company -15% off Purchases of $75 or More
Exclusive to RedPlum users only! No coupon code needed. Offer found through this link.

Limited Too - Save 25%
Just click and your discount will be automatically applied. Ends 12/10.

eToys - Free Shipping on Over 1,000 Items
Find great deals on top selling toys, PLUS get free shipping!

Netflix - Free Trial
Over 100,000 DVD titles, free delivery, no late charges, ever. Starts at only $4.95.

Macy's - Buy 1 Men's Item, Get Another at 50% Off
Hurry, offer ends on 11/25 at midnight!

KB Toys - Get $5 off any Order of $100 or more
Offer is valid until 12/31.

PetCareRx.com- Free Shipping on Orders over $35
Save on your pet needs and get free shipping! Ends 11/30.

SmartBargains.com - 20% off Sheets and Duvets
Find great deals on sheets and duvets plus get an extra 20% off until 11/30.

FootLocker.com - Get $15 off Your Order of $90
Offer Ends 12/1.

REI - Save 15%
When you sign up for Gearmail.

Print-at-Home Grocery Coupons:

Dove Hair Care at TARGETTM
$1 off Dove Haircare: Shampoo or Conditioner

All at TARGETTM
$1 off any All Laundry Detergent

Hyland's
$1 off any Hyland's Calms Forte sleep aid product

Del Monte
$1 off any Del Monte 20.5 oz Red Grapefruit bowl

Del Monte
$1 off any two 8 oz. Del Monte Fruit Naturals Cups

Del Monte
$1.00 Off any Del Monte Orchard Select or SunFresh refrigerated glass jar







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