I snapped this picture while in France this past July.
Friday, March 27, 2009
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Vows - Part Two
Yesterday, I began a little conversation in regards to an important subject for women: Vows.
Discovering hidden vows, facing and grieving any loss associated with those vows is a woman's pathway to maturity and freedom.
When a woman doesn't discover the inner, secret vows (and renounce them) she'll tend to operate out of them and often "knee jerk" to life (relational) situations. She will stunt some good character growth and not become mature. She will keep revisiting the same place on the same mountain over again. She will cross the same crack in the same sidewalk over again.
One of the main reasons for the "knee jerk" is because of this deep seeded, internal voice that is connected to a vow. The subtle voice says, "I will never.... You always.... It's not fair....Everyone else, but me...I will be in control...I will protect myself - so no one will hurt me again...No one cares for me...I will meet my own needs because no one else can...I will deaden this pain I feel on the inside...I'll never...
What's a Vow?
A vow is an internal commitment (based on a past judgment about an event or life happening) to NEVER allow the injustice (perceived or real) to happen again.
What's crazy about this is that most of us women can pinpoint a time in our lives somewhere between the ages of 7 - 10 where we felt confused over a life situation and made a vow.
Vows generally occur when an event that happens is painful or confusing and leaves a woman with this sense of "not fairness" or a sense of "coming up short."
Vows Have Roots
Vows are rooted in bitterness and the fruit of a vow is revealed in the un-biblical ways a woman "deals" with relationships that hurt. Gossip, jealousy and even some depression are signs of bitterness that can be traced to a vow.
Vows in Secret Places
Vows are lodged in secret places of a woman's soul and they lock her into unhealthy patterns of relationships that keep her from becoming mature, blessing others and in some cases are the reason why single women longing to be married never get married. The hidden vow sets her up to live in fear, rejection and desperateness. My husband says that to a guy - a desperate woman is a dangerous woman. Men sense a desperate woman and will "not be that into her."
Strategies to Control
When we make a VOW to NEVER be hurt again or to NEVER let that (whatever the that is) happen again we develop strategies of control and manipulation to satisfy the vow.
When I violate love by controlling, withholding, withdrawing, being silent, grumbling, complaining, isolating I'm committing relational suicide and I'm sinning.
Two Things to Do
I believe that a woman's vows are best discovered in a safe, small group of trusted girlfriends where she's being given permission to "dump" some of her hurt and actually be listened. When a woman "dumps" it's got to be about her and not the one that hurt her. There can be a fine line here to NOT gossip.
The second thing to do is that when a vow is discovered it must be renounced (2 Corinthians 4:2). It says that they are secret, shameful and must be uncovered - exposed for what they are. Vow are like signing a contract with the enemy to "get our own way." That's self pity and it violates love. I hope this helps at least one woman today.
Related Posts
1. Vows - Part One
2. The Centered Woman
3. Resisting to Become Irresistible
4. Ten Tips for Life
Labels:
spiritual life
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Can, Canning, Canner, Canned
Pressure cookers and canners date back to 1679 where Denis Papin, a French physicist and mathematician designed this large cast iron pot with a locking lid. His invention raised "the boiling point of water and at this higher temperature, bones softened and meat cooked in quick time."
Oh, we've come a long way baby . . .
Since I began developing my year long food pantry, I've experimented successfully with solar cooking (so far baking bread and roasting chicken). Now, I'm going to "experiment" canning meat and anything else I can find to can. I've just about decided to invest in this Presto 23 quart pressure cooker/canner (unless someone has another suggestion). This kind of equipment was common place in my grandma's kitchen and years ago, I remember having one myself (should have kept it) that just sat on a shelf.
So, to all you expert canners - got any advice to pass on my way?
Related Posts
1. Baking Bread in the Sun
2. Developing a Year Long Pantry
3. Roasting a Chicken - Solar Style
4. Being Frugal-Hearted and Blessing My Husband
Labels:
From my kitchen
Vows - Part One
We all make vows and from personal experience and observation of other women, I know how they can play a key role in our unhealthy patterns of thinking, our (skewed) view of life and the way we "do" relationships.
Vows (good and not so good) are internal commitments we make when a life event happens that creates a sense of confusion, causes us pain and leaves us with this sense of "coming up short" in life.
Any place where you believe there's been an injustice done to you (God, father, mother, others who abandoned you, hurt you, rejected you, or haven't measured up to your expectations - real or perceived) is a place where you probably have made a secret vow.
Vows I Made
I remember making a vow to never let a man hurt me again. Internally, I vowed to protect myself because in my opinion (based upon my past experience & pain) men couldn't and shouldn't be trusted.
My first marriage was incredibly abusive. Trust had been broken on every level. So, when I married Michael (bless his heart), I carried those vows with me and I developed subtle controlling ways to satisfy my vows of never getting close enough (vulnerability) to hurt again, feel confused or be rejected. I'd reject first so that I couldn't be rejected (bitterness).
I did not trust let alone respect his God-given authority and I surely thought I knew how to do things better than he did (just a different style of doing things) because I'd done it alone (before) and I did a good job.
I believed (based on my past experience with a man) that he couldn't and wouldn't meet any needs that I had let alone protect me and therefore I'd (inadvertently) take control of everything around me to protect myself, meet my own needs (self-nurturing through shopping and eating) because I'd been hurt before and couldn't trust any man.
Why was I knee-jerking to just about everything in this relationship? Why was I making conclusions and locking my husband into a pattern that didn't exist? It was because I had this this unhealthy vow ruminating deep in my feminine soul and because I was bitter and didn't know it.
It was ultimately God (it always goes back to being angry at God) who I believed dealt me the short end of the life's stick and I was going to take control. God didn't protect me or provide for me and so now I would.
Tomorrow I'll post Vows - Part Two (about knee jerk reactions).
Related Posts
1. Thirst and Pain - Who is Doing Yours?
2. Let's Get Real About our Anger
3. Learning to Grieve Well
4. A Woman's Relationship with Her Dad
5. Vows - Part 2
Labels:
spiritual life
Monday, March 23, 2009
Bread - Part Three
Related Posts
1. Bread - Part One
2. Bread - Part Two
3. Bread - The Power of the Table
If you're interested in purchasing a Sun Oven - email me at LylahLedner@gmail.com and I'll give you the scoop!
Labels:
Solar Cooking
Bread - Part One
I love to make bread and have made about ten loaves since the beginning of February. Today, I made two loaves and used my solar cooker - sun oven to bake the bread. Here's part ONE of my story.
Related Posts
1. Bread - Part Two
2. Bread - Part Three
Labels:
Solar Cooking
Hot and Sour Cabbage Soup
Awhile ago I had a half head of cabbage in my refrig. I'd wanted to make sauerkraut, until I ran across this FABULOUS recipe. You must try it and let me know if you like it as much as we did!
Hot and Sour Cabbage Soup Serves
1 Tbs Oil
1 Small Onion, minced
1 Small Cabbage, about the size of a grapefruit
2 Large Carrots, chopped
1 15oz Can Tomatoes, blended smooth
6 Cups Water
1/4 Cup Tamari, low sodium
1/3 Cup Seasoned Rice Vinegar,
1 tsp Hot Red Chili Flakes
1/2 tsp Salt, Black Pepper, to taste (a lot!)
Heat a large 5 qt soup pot that has a heavy lid over medium heat. Add oil and onion, and saute until golden. Meanwhile, quarter your cabbage, remove the core, and shred the cabbage with a large chef’s knife. Add carrots, tomatoes, cabbage and water to the pot and stir well. Add the Tamari, vinegar, chili flakes and salt.
Bring to a boil, cover, then turn heat down to medium low. Simmer for 20 minutes or until cabbage and carrots are the desired tenderness. Grind a lot of fresh black pepper over the top and serve.
Labels:
Soups
Sunday, March 22, 2009
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