Wednesday, June 25, 2008

one way to diffuse the bomb in marriage

I'm taking one more day (while on the way to Basque Country) to wrap up this little marriage them on Bombs in Your Marriage.

When couples neglect their one-flesh connectedness it only leads to big bombs going off in the marriage. One of the bomb diffusers for Michael and I was when he established a regular weekly time for us to connect specifically in what we call a Marriage Staff Meeting.

Many bombs can be de-fused with some preventative maintenance in a weekly Marriage Staff Meeting.

If you'd like a copy of the Marriage Staff Meeting form that my husband created - email me at

Perhaps your husband would be willing (make a request, not a demand) to establish a regular weekly time – perhaps call it a Marriage Staff Meeting – to bring to the table various issues to be communicated about so that things don’t just keep building.

It’s when the little things like calendaring, budget, vacation, the yard, home front responsibilities, the kids soccer game aren’t discussed that can give room for some bomb explosions.

Also, at this Marriage Staff Meeting you might discuss and get understanding as to what kind of marital government the two of you have and is it agreed upon with both of you . . . again…this would be based on biblical instruction.

What I mean by marital government is: how are decisions made in your home? Do you both discuss and bring information and agree together or does your husband make all decisions arbitrarily – my husband says it’s a wise man who listens to the information his wife brings – and he’s wise if he takes into account what she is saying.

If she disagrees to what he’s wanting to do – they could agree to take some time and re-pray for unity in the decision – they could come back together and re-discuss, but if there is still a stalemate then according to biblical headship/submission – it’s the wife who defers to and gets behind her husbands decisions.

Some other questions to discuss at a MSM (marriage staff meeting) might be: are all issues of finances, parenting and planning discussed before acting? Where are the delegated areas of authority and who’s in charge of what?

I'd love to hear comments on how you diffuse bombs in your marriage.

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Stephanie @ Keeper of the Home said...

I love that idea, and I would really love to see the Staff Meeting form- would you mind emailing it to me? Thanks a million- hope your trip to Europe is smooth. How exciting to go see those grandbabies again!

Lylah said...

hi there's a great idea...and just having got here in Spain...give me a day to send the MSM Form to you....trip here was good...BUT they lost my only suitcase.....please pray! ugh!