Showing posts with label Advice for Wives. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Advice for Wives. Show all posts

Saturday, December 01, 2007

What's a Wife? Cultural or Biblical - Series Part 1

I've been thinking about starting several different series and calling them Coffee Break Talk. So, here I go, the first one is entitled: What's a Wife? Cultural or Biblical.

(I'll randomly post - for sure several times a week)

A number of years ago, I got to thinking about jobs. Most jobs that I’ve applied for gave me information on my hours, my pay and my basic job description along with any benefits that I might be entitled to. So, it was from that line of thinking, I looked at my role as a wife and thought that it’s sort of like a job. From there I began to look in Genesis, then on through to Proverbs and then into the New Testament. Lo and behold, it really is like a job. My study showed me that God actually gives women a job description and He tells them what makes a good wise wife and what makes a foolish one.

This discovery really rocked my world. It made me realize that I’ve been in my marriage—in my role as wife—having really no clue what it mean to be a wife. I really did what I thought—or what I felt was good for my own benefit. Ugh! It’d entered into the marriage contract with such huge rose colored glasses on. I acted independently in just about every area that a wife could act independent in. I think—no, I know I was the queen of disrespect. I definitely wasn’t on my way to becoming my husband’s glory. Submission? That was something I’d only do on the outside—but my inside attitude stunk.

Anyway, I think you might be getting the picture and perhaps you can relate in some small way to what I’m saying.

OK, so, then I thought, that this job description list wasn’t really just for women who are married. It is for all women, married or not. For the ones not married—perhaps it ought to be considered a study manual. It is the manual to prepare and reveal all the attitudes now—before they get married. I look at this job description list as a wife-training material.

If you’re reading this post now, and not married, then just think of yourself as a bride-in-waiting and don’t move on so quick. Come back, read it, study it, take it to heart so that when God does open the eyes of a good man to see you’re a good women—he’ll begin to pursue you and you’ll won’t be so blind going into your new life as a married wife.

What I found is that a wife IS 6 thing, 6 things NOT to be, she HAS 32 things to do, 8 things to be and —all of which is not exhaustive, I’m sure. I'll start a series here - and post randomly my list with scriptures to support my findings. I think I'll call this series What's a Wife? Cultural or Biblical.

You can read part two here and part three here.

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Friday, November 16, 2007

Tips to Live on a Little

If you read my Money Making Mama's Blog, you'll see that I think, "If I save money, then I have made money." Money is so much about attitude and how we steward the little or the much that God gives us.

I love reading Mom Blogs and one in particular is a good one! It's written by Crystal Paine. She's a mom of two little kiddos and has the wisdom of a 60 year old. She has found wonderful creative ways to steward (manage) what God has given them. This post just came out today and it's worth reading and re-reading!

Roses to you, Crystal - May God continue to use you in the lives of so many women!

I'd love your comments to what Crystal has written!

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Tuesday, November 13, 2007

10 Quick Keys to Learn to Listen

In order to listen well, we must first understand that it’s an art to be rediscovered. We listen more frequently than any other activity that we can name—except breathing. And, in spite of all the listening that goes on, there is a great need for improvement. We can become good listeners because without training ourselves to listen, we retain only 25 % of what we hear.

If you can picture this huge ice berg floating in the ocean near Alaska. You only see the portion that’s above the water line. You don’t see this very large piece of the ice berg below the water line. It’s like that in listening. We are hearing only what’s above the water line and in true listening (hearing the heart), we want to hear what’s below the surface of the water line. It truly takes training ourselves to focus and pay attention. I believe that listening is a personal obligation.

Poor listening stems from poor habits, from self-centeredness, and from pride. It’s been said that listening is one of the most complicated things we do because our emotions and our personality trait is can actually interfere with good listening.

In learning the skill of communication, more time is spent on learning to speak rather than learning to listen. Interestingly enough, we spend about 16% of our time reading, 30% of our time talking, and 45% of our time listening. Hmmm…...How many speaking courses have you been to? And, how many listening courses have you been to?

Here are Ten Quick Keys to Improve Your Listening:
Look directly at the person who is speaking. Engage your mind in their words. Giving direct attention shows you care.

Identity what they are saying. Is it an opinion, an experience, a request, a desire, a concern, or are they asking a question.

Don’t interrupt. Speak only in turn. It’s rude to tramp on some ones thoughts and heart that is being spoken.

Think of what they are saying, not what you want to say. Mentally summarize their message. When you sense emotion in you rising up ~ get control, keep it under control. Don’t get swept away in emotion. We get emotional when we are thinking their words are a personal attack. Just listen ~ it’s their words and their heart that is being expressed. Be thinking about what God is after in this situation.

Don’t change the subject. Give the person the Gift of Being Heard Out Completely. Don’t be in a rush. Being in the posture of listening is the posture of learning.

Certain words mean certain things to certain people.

Don’t judge what they are saying in terms of your experience ~ remember this is their story. Listen to understand.

If you don’t under the meaning of a word, then ask.

If this has helped you, or if you have questions, please comment.

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