Monday, February 09, 2009

making home peaceful

The older I get the more I recognize the value of home and my place (role) in making our home a one of peace, order and sanctuary. I know that I'm the key influencer in what that peace, order and sanctuary looks like by attitude and my tone.

We set the tone
Women have a power of influence to set the tone of their homes. If mama's not happy no one's happy.

If mama has a bad attitude it effects the others.

If mama's showing disrespect to her husband the kids will show disrespect to their dad.

If mama's voice is loud kids will learn to model her.

If mama's neglectful with home front responsibilities then kids will follow that too. Oh, the modeling a mama does!

In all honesty

I'll be honest, my "tone" wasn't the greatest this morning. I experienced (or should I say, my husband experienced) a few -"female flesh bursts" - meaning I had a puey attitude about nothing and everything and I made issues out of a mole hills. Do you ever do that?

Keeping the stressors in check
I've learned that if I don't take time (Monday mornings are great days to do this) to evaluate the day, week, month and even season of my life and to count the different stressors (there are good ones and bad ones) and then evaluate them and evaluate my ability to manage them and my margins, I can tend to become overwhelmed.

When I get overwhelmed, not managing my stressors (my daily load, extra home front projects, extra counseling appointments, etc), then I, like you, can be prone to a few "female flesh burst."

Counting stressors and acknowledging them helps me see the reality of the load and evaluate if I need to let some go or simply put a pause on other.

The value of peace
I value peace in my home and I seek to maintain that sense of peace (I'm not talking quiet), but an inner calm - a gentle spirit - that I emit to my family that surrounds me.

Having that sense of peace in my home is a great value to me because I know my husband needs that "peace" to hear God, clarify the vision for our family and implement those steps toward the fulfillment of that vision.

Creating that sanctuary for him is also important because when he leaves the front door of our home - and heads out into the battle field, I know it's a crazy world - he's engaging in. He'll engage in all sorts of unseen battles that have the potential to catch him off guard, cause him to be unnecessarily weary or discouraged.

If he leaves our home - with a sense of peace that came from the heart of his wife (that'd be me) - then I know he'll be better equipped to face whatever it is that's "out there." I also know that he can't wait to return to his home, where peace rules - because the heart of his wife is at peace.

Here are some related posts:
1. The Heart of Creating Sanctuary
2. Step 6 in Creating Sanctuary - Setting Priorities
3. Step 5 In Creating Sanctuary - Planning
4. Understanding & Getting Behind Your Man's Vision

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Betty Beguiles said...

Excellent post! I couldn't agree more. Thanks for the reminder. I needed it today. ;)

Anonymous said...

Truer words were never spoken. The last thing anyone needs, man, woman or child, after a day "out there" is to come home to more negative energy.