Sunday, June 29, 2008

Baby Steps - Day 11

Today is another Baby Step toward Becoming a Purposeful Home Keeper - one who builds her home, keeps it, creates sanctuary in her home and then one who learns and applies skill to (daily) steward or manage the Simple Home.

If you and I are going to be building, keeping, creating and managing (stewarding) our homes on a daily basis, we need to first think through the WHAT then look at the HOW then the WHEN.

Think about WHAT you want your home to "look" like - orderly, clean, peaceful, good (and nutritious) smells from the kitchen, restful in the (master) bedroom, comfortable? Think about all the things that are important to you and important to your husband. What has he said or perhaps made little comments about (the home) that you know are important to him?

My husband isn't particularly inclined to notice the aesthetics of our home first (he's an auditory learner) but what he has expressed is his love for Italian food. He could eat my Italian cooking almost every day. Another thing that I know Michael enjoys is eating together. We have developed the good habit with consistantly eating and enjoying and fellowshipping over food at the table.

By the way - for moms of little ones, the table is the place where they learn good table manners (like chewing with mouths closed, saying please and thank you and asking to be excused) and it's the place where they watch parental interraction of love and respect.

There are other things that I know (because I am a student of my husband) that he needs to be able to think and have forward movement with the vision he has for his family. Those things are a home that has a sense of peace. Because he is a musician, I've learned that certain kinds of music are pleasant and others are not. The noise level or the distraction level can also be a factor.

What I do or say "yes" to within or without of my home will inevitably affect my husband. It's the same with you. I have learned to guard my time - because that guards my energy and emotion and thus - that affects my husband. I have learned to say "no" - can't do to a lot of things - just so I can be the keeper of the home. What do you say "yes" to that perhaps you need to reconsider? What takes depletes your emotional cup?

Some Gentle Reminders
Re-reading Day 7 might be helpful as we move on and if you didn't complete Day 6's assignment go back there and consider: do the choices I make bless my husband or are they a burden to him?

In Day 4, I wrote: God gave us the job of being the home keeper. That word originally (in the Greek) meant to be a home worker. I recently read that the home was once described as a ….place apart….a walled garden….in which certain virtues too easily crushed by modern life could be preserved.

Two Assignments
So, for today, take time to make a list of the WHAT - what do you want your home to look like. Write down everything you can think about.

Then ask your husband what it is he needs or would like to see different in the home - those things you could do that would show him you care about his needs and show him respect. (Those things might be: having a meal ready when he arrives home at night, not have a messy, dirty house, having the bed made, not greeting him at the door while being on the phone or the computer, no "funky" house smells (spoiled food, dirty diapers, sour stuff in sinks), a pleasant - joyful and thankful wife - not one who is contentious or nagging or complaining or who 'dumps' the kids on him as he walks in the door, etc.)

I do recognize that there are some wives who have difficult marriages and to ask a husband a question like that will only add to some pain. So, if that's you - instead - evalute what you think he might say - become a student of your husband and think about the things he needs.

See you tommorrow - from Basque Country - San Sebastian, Spain.

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Mrs. Taft said...

Great thoughts, Lylah. I can already think about something my husband has mentioned to me that I can do a little better on in creating our home sanctuary. He has certain "spots" in the house that he likes to stay clutter-free, and while for the most part I keep them that way, I think I need to be more proactive in preventing the possibility so it just simply doesn't happen :)

Also, I don't know what kind of access you'll have to the internet, but I don't want you to miss out on my bloggie giveaway tomorrow! Be sure to check back!