Sunday, June 29, 2008

it's all about respect - part 4

I've freely shared how I didn't have a clue that my role in my marriage was to show respect to my husband. I just about tore my house down with my own hands because I disrespected Michael with words, with that "tone" and with emotional manipulation. Great job for a pastor's wife, eh?

The problem is - is that I really didn't GET that that's what I was doing. I was simply acting out of fear, selfishness and what I thought I needed. It wasn't until I read Ephesians 5: 22 - 33 that I GOT it. Wives - see to IT that you show (unconditional) respect to your husband.

What love is to me - respect is to him. The need for women to understand this is huge. Your man doesn't earn respect (there are, however, those relationships where respect is NOT given, but earned) - God says he's to be given it. It's when a wife operates from that premise that God can work a work that can't be unworked - and actually heal a broken marriage.

So, in light of all that, I'm going to continue posting my husband's study on - It's all about respect - which began here. Today is the last part of this study.

TOWARD PARENTS: 1 Tim 3:4-5 "He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect. (If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God's church?)"

TOWARD HUSBANDS (in this passage, respect is not earned – because the husband is not believing the word) 1 Peter 3:1-3 "Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives." (unanswered prayers is the judgment for the husband who doesn’t honor his wife)

1 Pet 3:7 "Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered." (In this passage, the husband is commanded to love – the wife is commanded to respect) Eph 5:33 "However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband."


BY BEING SELF-CONTROLLED, BY BEING FULL OF FAITH, LOVE & ENDURANCE: Titus 2:1-2 "You must teach what is in accord with sound doctrine. Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance."

BY BEING SELF-CONTROLLED: 1 Tim 3:8 "Deacons, likewise, are to be men worthy of respect, sincere, not indulging in much wine, and not pursuing dishonest gain."

BY CARRYING OUR LOAD DAY BY DAY: 1 Thess 4:11-12 "Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody."

BY SPIRITUAL LEADERS WHO WORK HARD: 1 Thess 5:12-13 "Now we ask you, brothers, to respect those who work hard among you, who are over you in the Lord and who admonish you. Hold them in the highest regard in love because of their work. Live in peace with each other."

Prov 11:16 "A kindhearted woman gains respect, but ruthless men gain only wealth."

Repent of disrespect – in any area where respect is lacking (w/God, delegated authorities, toward His Image Bearers, His Word)

Resurrect respect – in every area of my life – in the fear of the Lord; so that we may bring glory (rather than shame) to our Lord, to His Word, to His Story.

Re-establish respect – in those areas in which I am in authority. In a relaxed way (firmly, yet gently) teach respect. Build this foundation for relationships, for life. Establish it in your home with your children (modeling it and teaching it). Take the opportunities to teach it (here at DSC with the children and each other, in the market place, in the work place), for the sake of the glory of His story -- of order, of beauty and of love.

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