A Woman's Relationship with Her Dad

God intended for DADS to give girls the Building Blocks that help build and grow girls into Godly, mature and confident girls who love God and know all about Him. Dad’s building blocks show girls God’s love and protection by making them feel save on the outside.

Dad’s are supposed to make girls feel safe on the outside & on the inside. God also uses Poppies in a little girl's life - to cause her to know that she's a princess.

A lot of dad’s building blocks are to affirm, teach and protect their daughters. Dad’s actually have a lot of responsibility according to the Bible.

One of the things dad’s are supposed to do (besides protecting their daughters) is to talk a lot about all sorts of life’s issues (according to God’s perspective).

Check out these verses. They are mostly about what God is telling dads to talk to their children about. Where ever it says “son” you just put your name there.

Check out what God says . . .
Deuteronomy 5:29
Deuteronomy 6:4-7
Deuteronomy 6:18
Deuteronomy 11:19—21
Isaiah 38:19b v
Proverbs 22:6 (this is most likely for moms and dads )
Proverbs 4:1
Proverbs 4:26-27
Proverbs 4:18 –19
Proverbs 4:14—15

One thing dads are supposed to do . . .
God wants a dad to tell his daughter that the most important thing is to know God as Father. A daughter also needs to know that asking God for wisdom and understanding is the key to a healthy life. God wants a dad to tell his girl how to be wise and avoid being foolish. God also wants a dad to tell his girl what to do if she feels tempted.

He wants dads to tell their daughters how to stay pure, remind them that the main vein in life is preparing to be a wife and mother and to dream about their wedding day when they will be a beautiful bride.

Dads are supposed to tell their girls how to be a friend and what kind of person NOT to be a friend to. They are supposed to tell their daughters how to speak and not lie and what to avoid. They are supposed to build up the inner image of their daughters by telling them they are beautiful just as they are. They’re not supposed to tell them they are “fat and will never get a man” or “if only” they “looked a certain way” then they’d have boyfriends. Moms train their daughters too and affirm the good things dad teaches.

Proverbs 1: 10—19
Proverbs 2:1—2
Proverbs 2: 5—6
Proverbs 6: 1—2
Proverbs 6: 12—15
Proverbs 6: 6—8
Proverbs 6:20—21

When dad's building blocks are missing . . .
When girls don’t have proper building blocks from dad or mom, they tend to grow up feeling insecure, unprotected, not valued and then they make dumb and stupid choices that only add to a sense of woundedness and insecurity and fearfulness. If dad leaves, the rejection that girl feels and operates out of can last a life time. . . until some dad blocks are given back. If dad is left and wounded his daughter with the pain of rejection often she will stay "stuck emotionally" at the age dad left. What can help heal her? Another dad being used by God to begin to replace those missing building blocks - slowly, one at a time - with great love, acceptance, care and a willingness to stay in it - in spite of the potential of being rejected.

God intended for DADS to give girls the Building Blocks that show them God’s love by protecting them and making them feel safe on the outside and inside.

Bonding blocks of love are needed so girls feel protected, affirmed and empowered for life. Dad gives blocks that “bless” his daughter in being a girl. Dad helps his girl become independent of mom. Dad helps his daughter learn to rightly relate to guys, so she can right relate to her husband when she gets married.

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A Woman's Relationship with Her Dad

http://lylahledner.blogspot.com/2007/12/womans-relationship-with-her-dad.html

father's day gift idea for the backyard chef

My garden guy hubs and both my sons in laws are great back yard chefs. I've been thinking about which guy makes the best salmon, steak, chicken or grilled veggies and have to say that it's a toss up and a three way tie. Wouldn't this platter and mug make a cute gift idea?

father's day gift idea for the backyard chef

http://lylahledner.blogspot.com/2008/05/fathers-day-gift-idea-for-backyard-chef.html

Mothers Nurture, Fathers Lovingly Control

Consider this article, Mothers Nurture, Fathers Lovingly Control written by Wade Horn:

All is not well with America's daughters. One in five girls younger than 18 lives in poverty; for preschoolers, the figure is one in four. Reports of child sexual abuse have more than tripled since 1976--with girls the most common victim. Forty percent of all females become pregnant at least once as teenagers.

Half of all teenagers will carry their pregnancies to term, and when they do, 72 percent will give birth out-of-wedlock. The startling fact is that on most measures of child well-being, our nation's daughters are worse off today than they were just three decades ago.

What is going on that so many girls are experiencing so many difficulties and what can we do about it? The answer to both questions is one and the same: fathers.


In 1960, only about 17 percent of children were growing up in a home in which their father did not live. Today, that figure has more than doubled to nearly 40 percent. That means that 12 million girls are currently growing up without their father.

It is well recognized that when fathers are absent, boys are at significantly higher risk for developing conduct problems--they act out aggressively and sometimes quite violently toward others. Less well-recognized is that girls too are placed at-risk when fathers are absent. In fact, girls who grow up without fathers underachieve at school, engage in early and promiscuous sexual activity, and have a less secure gender identity.

Why should fathers make such a difference in the lives of girls? The answer to this question lies in the fact that mothers and fathers tend to parent differently. Beginning at the birth of a child, mothers tend to be more verbal with their children, whereas fathers are more physical.

Mothers also tend to encourage personal safety and caution, whereas fathers are more challenging of achievement, independence, and risk-taking. And mothers tend to be more powerful nurturant figures and fathers stronger disciplinarians.

These differences in parenting styles translate into improved child well-being for several reasons. First, research has consistently demonstrated that families socialize children best when they use a combination of nurturance and control. In fact, children reared in such households are found to be friendly, energetic and well-behaved. Given that mothers tend toward nurturance and fathers toward control, children reared in two-parent households are likely to experience this combination.

In contrast, children in father-absent households are likely to experience high levels of parental nurturance, but lower levels of control. High nurturance and low control has been found to be associated with children who have difficulty in self-regulation. For boys this can translate into aggressive acting-out, whereas for girls it frequently results in sexual acting-out.

Second, the "rough and tumble" play of fathers is critical to the success of children for it gives children practice in regulating their own emotions and recognizing the emotional cues of others. And, for reasons that are less intuitively obvious, girls who experience the rough and tumble play of a father, compared to those that do not, have been found to have higher quantitative and verbal skills, better problem-solving abilities, and higher academic achievement levels.

Third, fathers are important to the development of a secure gender identity and appropriate sexuality. While it is intuitively obvious that a boy's interactions with his father teach him what it means to be a man, father involvement is also correlated with secure gender identity in girls.

In fact, the quality of a daughter's relationship with her father is actually a better predictor of a daughter's comfort with her own femininity than is the quality of her relationship with her mother. While the daughter may learn the specifics of the female role from observing her mother, the degree of security and comfort the daughter has in her own femininity is predicted by whether or not her father was nurturing of her when she was young.

Furthermore, if a girl experiences the love of a father who places her well-being above his own and who acts as a natural protector, then the girl is likely to delay sexual relations until she finds such a man herself. If she is denied such fatherly love, then the girl is likely to try to seek it elsewhere--often inappropriately, and often at very young ages.

Our nation's daughters are in trouble, and their troubles are growing worse. The available evidence suggests that improving the well-being of girls depends upon us finding ways to bring fathers back into the home. To do so, we will have to deepen our cultural understanding of the importance of fathers to the well-being of children, restore marriage as the valued and respected institution within which to rear children, and reduce the incidence of divorce.


This post was taken from : Mothers Nurture, Fathers Lovingly Control, Written By: Wade F. Horn Published In: Article Publication Date: September 1, 1996 Publisher: Headway

Mothers Nurture, Fathers Lovingly Control

http://lylahledner.blogspot.com/2007/12/mothers-nurture-fathers-lovingly.html

A story about a house . . .

When The Blocks Aren’t There . . .

And, everyone that drove by the house....looked on the outside...thought, “That must be a nice house on the inside too.” Well, just because a house looks so nice on the outside, doesn’t mean it’s so nice on the inside.

The house in this story wasn’t so nice on the inside. See, the dad and the mom didn’t know about all the blocks they were suppose to give their little girl. For some reason the dad and the mom didn’t understand God’s ways and God’s heart toward being responsible to give their children building blocks so that they would grow and mature and have a life that didn’t hurt quite so much.

See when dads and moms don’t give their little girls the right kind of blocks they often start to grow up feeling different, not so special, not good enough, not pretty enough and then not protected enough in the right ways. Those blocks from dad gives a girl good tools to help her make good decisions and good friends.

And, when these little girls don’t get all their blocks they don’t always know in their heart and their head that God loves them. They don’t know that He says they are made in His Image, made for Relationship, are very special and have a unique purpose—so they wear masks instead.

Sometimes those little girls make choices that aren’t such good ones and those choices hurt for a very long time and even leave scars in their heart.

Sometimes those little girls make choices that aren’t very good ones and those choices hurt for a very long time and even leave scars in their heart . . .and…..they grow up with wrong ideas about men, marriage, God, how to do life and relationships…..and then they feel hurt on the inside.

Those blocks from dad gives a girl good tools to help her make good decisions and good friends.

And, when these little girls don’t get all their blocks they don’t always know in their heart and their head that God loves them. They don’t know that He says they are made in His Image, made for Relationship, are very special and have a unique purpose—so they wear masks instead.

Sometimes those little girls make choices that aren’t such good ones and those choices hurt for a very long time and even leave scars in their heart.

Sometimes those little girls make choices that aren’t such good ones and those choices hurt for a very long time and even leave scars in their heart.

The End

A story about a house . . .

http://lylahledner.blogspot.com/2007/12/story-about-house.html