Thursday, September 03, 2009

Sex Talk - The Importance and Power of the Bedroom in Marriage

My hands have been awfully busy and dirty lately to actually sit down and blog all the thoughts I've got whirling in my head - so, until then, I'm igniting another re-post from a year ago.

I read once that every room has a mission. If you were writing a mission statement for your home what would it be? A woman’s home is an extension of her feminine soul…and it’s God-given creativity. Take a minute and walk around your home. The mission statement I'd give of my home is Celebrate Life. Even in the days where it's in a bit of a disarray, I can say that.

Head toward your bedroom.

What would the mission statement of your bedroom be? Does your bedroom say – Come on honey, let’s CELEBRATE? Is your bedroom uncluttered, as beautiful as can be, fragrant . . . like a sanctuary?

My heart is to create sanctuary and after a woman tends to her kitchen and brings order there, I'd say the master bedroom is next. I wrote about the importance in creating Sanctuary in the Master Bedroom here.

Read Hebrews 13:4. Write it down in a journal.

It IS the place where your husband comes to pursue you…

Don't let EVERYONE in Your Bedroom
I can remember when my spiritual mother told me to make our master bedroom a place of beauty and a place of sanctuary. I think of it as being the room where two lovers unite their souls as one in a sweet expression of intimacy. I'm VERY careful who comes into our bedroom. Guests rarely use our private bathroom. It's important to me to keep our room - our room (OK, except when you have 5+ grandkiddos). But, when do have a lock on our door!

Nancy (my spiritual mother) would always say that it is important for the room that to have order, look beautiful and smell lovely.

Take a second look in your bedroom. What’s it like? Is there any room for improvement? Is your ironing board in your bedroom or how about a pile of laundry waiting to be folded?

What’s the smell factor of your bedroom? Is it time to see what you can do to pretty it up?

Little Touches Make a Difference
Even if you’re on a no-budget fix up—you can still get creative with what you might have in other rooms—pillows, lighting, silk flowers, and candles. What about changing the room around? Can you repaint or wallpaper? Can you add some new curtains or a comforter? What can you do to make it a bit more romantic?

Eliminate Distractions
The first thing you can do is to eliminate distractions in the bedroom. The TV is anathema to romance. It’s a good idea to keep the bedroom free of work, computers and any thing else that would distract you.

A Sanctuary of Communion, Rest and Romance
Our master bedrooms are to be a sanctuary of communion and rest and romance—not a work place. I understand that at times there are extenuating circumstances, but if at all possible shut things off so rest and romance flow through the room.

Cap off the Day
I've been doing a sleep deprivation study and have learned that our bodies/minds don't heal if we stay up much past 10 PM. We personal make it a goal to be in bed - lights out before then. It's just healthier. It allows for pillow chat time mixed it with other good stuff.

Celebrating the Sanctuary of Love
Now that you’re CELEBRATING the sanctuary of love - and you're getting my drift. Let's do an attitude check.

Is your attitude toward sex one that says, “YES! Let’s CELEBRATE?”
Can you be sexy for your husband and what would that look like?
And, have you taken the 30 Day Sex Challenge?

Celebrate Sex
Attitude about sex is everything. God has an “attitude” about sex and women would do well to line their attitude up with his. What is your attitude about sex? Is sex on your mind? Take some time and write out your attitudes in your journal.

Attitude has to do with an inward feeling expressed with an outward behavior. “As a woman thinks—so she does.” The Bible says that out of the heart the mouth speaks. Whatever attitude we have as wives have will come out in what we do and what we say. If our “attitude” isn’t a God “attitude” then there’s great potential to deeply wound our man with our words and actions.

This sexual arena is a very “tender” one for our men.

One of God’s Attitudes Expressed in 1 Corinthians 7:3-5
I'd suggest to read that passage and write it out in your journal.

Duty or Delight
That word “duty” can throw many women off balance. It has the idea of not depriving each other by taking back what has already been promised—the Celebration of Sex. That passage is saying that we have the right, the privilege, and the responsibility to please each other in the marriage bed.

As you seek to “get” a “God attitude” about sex, consider what voices you’ve heard in the past that conflict and have caused confusion about sex. Media will be a confusing voice, your mom might have been a confusing voice, the girl friends down the street might have been a wrong voice too. Those voices are good to get in touch with. God’s voice matters.

Sex and its CELEBRATION is about God—not about us.

LORD, You say that the marriage bed is holy and undefiled (Hebrews 13:4). I thank You that this is Your idea. I thank You that You created us to enjoy one another (Song of Solomon 7:6).

LORD, You have made my husband a sexual being. You have made me a sexual being. I pray that You would help me change any wrong thinking I have toward this Celebration of Marriage that is a gift.

Father, grace us to gain an understanding of one another's distinct physical
differences and help us to appreciate these differences rather than be irritated by them.

LORD, help me to completely give myself to my husband and to fully enjoy our times of lovemaking. Help me to release everything from my mind and to enter into our times of lovemaking with one focus—the pleasure of intimacy in this realm of romantic love (Song of Solomon 8:13-14).

Father, bless my husband's sexuality. I pray that he would become strong and . . . .you fill in the blank!

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Stepping Thru said...

This is a wonderful message and one that we need to be reminded of frequently. After about 20 years of marriage, I attended my first Christian seminar on Sex and Marriage. My whole heart and mind changed and the past 12 years have been the best years of our marriage. I shared the material I received at that seminar with my daughter before she got married and she told me later that she felt this was the best wedding gift she could have received. Thank you for reminding me.

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