Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Marriage Advice for Jon & Kate

The couple in pain.

What advice would you give to Jon & Kate?

12 Reasons Why Wives Refuse to Respect Their Husbands

A Step Toward a Stronger Marriage

Understanding the Man You're Married To

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Heidi St. John said...

If I could talk to those two I'd suggest that they cancel the show and walk away. No amount of money is worth the stress that those cameras are placing on them and their children. Sad, sad situation.

The childhood years go by so fast ~ I hope that Jon and Kate work through things so that their children don't end up losing their family. If there was a way to get out of the contract, that would be what I'd try to do.

My heart goes out to them. I doubt anyone can get a true picture of what their home/relationship is really like. Reality TV is not really reality. It's soundbites of days/moments. The stuff people want to watch, unfortunately, is drama, drama, drama -- so that's what gets played.

Lylah said...

Heidi...really really good suggestions!

I'd teach her what her husband needs most is to be's the thing that has potential to turn an emasculated husband's heart heart toward home rather than enable him to leave and abdicate his responsibility and authority he has to lead his family.

DeANNA said...

It is really really sad. But really, how much do we know is true and how much is really staged and stuff?

I know that 8 little kids are gonna have a tough go of it even if it is all fake. The old saying is so true... money can not buy happiness.... no matter how big the house.

The thing that got me was when Kate asked if people ever really think about the people on the front of those magazines and how they feel? I never thought about that since I buy the dirt... not anymore though. I couldn't imagine intentionally putting my little munchies through the hell they are.

Just sad!

Smockity Frocks said...

I wish they would quit the show and admit to each other the mistakes they have EACH made to get to the place they are now.

Their marriage should be the priority. The children will benefit most if they are committed to loving and honoring each other.

And I wish Kate would watch all the snippets where she is so very demeaning and disrespectful to Jon and really dig deep and ask him to forgive her for driving him away.

I have been praying for them.

Kari said...

It amazes me that they can't hear America screaming "Turn off the cameras and fight for your family!"

MaryRose said...


You are SO on-the-dot when you say that husbands need respect. Why is it that we as a culture seem to thrive off of the reduction of men to sexual creatures and no more? Stupid brainless penis-driven pigs, that's how we portray them on sitcoms like Everybody Loves Raymond, King of Queens, Two and a Half Men, etc etc etc.

As Heidi stated, I would also suggest getting out of that contract as soon as possible.

We as women ALL need to remember to be supportive wives! Build our husbands up in what they do, and tell them every day how much we love them and how proud of them we are. Show them respect. Realize what a strain it is to be the head of the household, and give them kudos for how much they do!

I pray for humility for both Kate and John, but most especially for Kate. For the ability, not only to see where they have gone wrong, but to apologize and make reparations for their mistakes. And to love each other, to remember what it is about each other that has brought them joy in the past, and to connect on that level. To apologize, repair, forgive, and move on.

And to get their children away from the damaging light of those cameras.

Jen said...

They can't hear America telling them to turn off the cameras because 9 million viewers turned their tv on to watch them (including me). I would highly recommend for them to watch Fireproof and then do the Love Dare. I love watching the show, but I think maybe they should at least take a break and work on their marriage...that's more imporatant than ratings.

angela said...

I agree with Heidi, they should walk away from the TV show and go to work on their marriage and mending their family! Someday they will look back on all this with regret. I feel so bad for the children and I hope they don't end up messed over this!


Lylah said...

Woo! Mary said it girl! Just wish I'd written all that first!

My heart is breaking for this family and I pray - as all these comments are too - that they get off the show, and that by God's mercy they'd humble themselves and turn toward each other and remember what it is they are really here for!

MaryRose said...

Hey, the Holy Spirit gives some of us the words at certain times, and others the words at other times. :)

You have shared MANY pearls of wisdom with us in the past, and I'm quite confident there will be many more to come!

Jennifer Y. said...


nicole said...

Like so many others, I think they need to walk away from the show. We have never watched an entire episode before, but I will admit I tuned in this past Monday. I watched in the hopes that they would say they were ready to work on their marriage. I wanted to hear them say they realize they have got to turn inward and rebuild their family. I was so disappointed that they never once said they were here for the marriage. Both of them said they were "here for our kids," but they fail to realize that to be there for the kids, they first need to be there for each other. They don't want their kids hurt, but watching a marriage fall apart without a fight (if that is what is happening) is hardly sparing the kids pain. The Love Dare is a great idea, but it takes a lot of humility. I hope they are seeking spiritual counsel.

Janel said...

I didn't know anything about Jon & Kate until about 2 months ago. I stumbled on her book at the library.

It was a nice story, so I thought I'd check out show clips online. WOW. They don't quite leave you with the same warm fuzzy impression the book does. Wow.

It is so easy to sanitize real life trials when you write about it. I know how "nice" some of the stuff I write is, but I know it wasn't any where near that tidy to live. To watch life lived out in real time is totally different.

I'm in the step back and work it out camp too.

Leia said...

I dunno...I'd love to see them really and truly work it out on national TV. Granted, in order for that to happen, I think that Kate needs to stay home rather than going to speaking engagements and start appreciating and respecting her husband and Jon needs to fight, but I would _love_ to have two believers who are married to each other and who have come into a rough patch be able to work it out and show the world that you shouldn't give up!

TRS said...

I hope you don't mind if I borrow your topic for my blog. I've been thinking about this - and since I can't exactly call Kate - I'd like rant it out my blog.
I'll be linking to you.

Lylah said...

TRS - of course use this topic for your blog. It's an important one today. I believe, like never before, our marriages are under an assault from an enemy who'd like nothing more than to tear them apart. We must stand - and stand strong and together.

Nicole - I loved what you said...tuning in - in hopes that they would say that they were ready to turn toward each other and work on their marriage. I think I've only watched the show once and that was just a partial show - but for some reason, this particular issue with this precious couple and family really grieves me and I am rooting and praying for them & their marriage.

Angela - you are so day they will turn around and look back with such regret....IF they don't wake up now and turn toward each other.

Andrea said...

Honestly, I don't think they should end the show.

What a testimony it would be if they went through Marriage Counseling and the entire WORLD saw a family fighting to stay together and serving the Lord in every way!

A few weeks ago on their Green show, Leah was singing worship songs and it was such a blessing! She wasn't singing Brittany or some other lewd song. NOPE! She was worshiping. How powerful!

They have not hidden the fact that they are Christians and many times you will see them wearing T-shirts with a Christian message. Too cool.

I don't believe there are enough honest shows out there that show the difficulties of life AND show them pulling through it all by asking the Lord to help them and showing how he does.

I think the Lord could use this all for his Glory, if they allow him to.

MaryRose said...

But the constant media attention is driving a wedge between them. There is a constant attack on their marriage, most especially on Kate's attitude towards her husband. It does 2 things: (a)makes her feel more nasty and (b)makes him feel like she's not worth fighting for. Like she's not (to quote Lylah in a different post) "a treasure"...

They are creating a harder fight for themselves by keeping the cameras on. Also, they are creating a very unstable environment for their children. Yes, it would be AWESOME for America to see them reclaim their marriage on camera. But would it be worth it, for the damage they'd be doing to their kids? Or for the risk of NOT successfully reclaiming their marriage?

Personally, I say no.

Lylah said...

MaryRose...What a great comment....and I thank you for your kind words.....

For some reason - like many of us women - we don't see ourselves as that treasure!

See this -

Melissa @ The Inspired Room said...

Oh, yes, this was a very sad situation indeed. I too wanted them to say they were going to put their marriage first and get counseling.

Marriage is not easy, and especially in those early years compounded by the fact that they had an extra measure of stress to cope with. But if you can come though it to the other side by putting your marriage first, what a blessing their example could be for their children and the 10 million viewers. It is heartbreaking.

thanks for always sharing your heart, sweet Lylah!

jonathan said...

Kate would be better if she gives more attention to Jon. And Jon would be better if he starts deep talk between them.