Thursday, February 19, 2009

A Step Toward a Stronger Marriage

Don't you think it's easy for those little nasty foxes to spoil the vineyard of love. Those little foxes creep in under the fences of the vineyard destroying the root system of the vine. When a root system is destroyed - it takes out the whole vine.

Foxes are a plenty and in order to preserve a marriage, those fox need to be caught and the vineyard protected.

What are the little foxes in marriage?
Little foxes can be any kind of marital stressors like financial difficulties, pre-marital sex, job pressures, physical injuries, pornography, unclear understanding of the biblical role of a husband or wife, lack of good communication skills, un-dealt with past emotional pain, father wounds, male-mother attachment issues, criticalness, the inability to resolve conflicts, exhaustion (sleep deprivation, sickness and . . .

How easy it can be, in this crazy and busy world, to become distant (slowly pulling away) from each other. It's easy to make other things like job, kids, outside pursuits a priority over the priority of a marriage than can sometimes be struggling.

My husband and I have found that not only having a weekly (we try hard at maintaining this) along with a purpose statement for our marriage has helped draw us toward each other rather than away. A purpose statement reminds us of the opportunity to be used by God

Why Develop a One Flesh Purpose Statement
Developing a one flesh purpose statement keeps us on track as we go for reward. We're reminded of our purpose statement which really anchors us to move together, rather than independently - which is can be a tendency of our self-protective, proud flesh.

We've discovered that our purpose statement draws the best out of us individually and it makes us powerful together.

The world is desperate to see a husband and wife love each other, show that respect and honor and actually like being together - serving together, moving together - it's a powerful testimony.

When we got married, God showed us that I (Lylah) was like red and Michael was like blue. Together, we became purple - royal.

Our purpose statement nudges us to move together instead of independently - thus displaying those royal colors to a hurting world. We protect our marriage, seeking to glorify Him as grow in that character.

A Weekly Marriage Staff Meeting
How many office staff have weekly meetings to calendar, discuss issues, have conversation about what needs to be changed and how to do "stuff" better? Most successful ones do.

So, why not have a weekly marriage staff meeting? We've developed a Weekly Marriage Staff Meeting agenda and if you'd like a copy email me at

We discuss finances, calendaring, date needs, individual needs, home front needs of repair and how we can practice hospitality better. It's that time to discuss any areas of neglect too.

Our Marriage Purpose Statement

The Ledner One-Flesh Purpose
We live to partner with or Lord,
expressing His Grace
first to each other
and then to others
seeking the double glory marriage where ever we go,
celebrating others,
opening our hearts and hour home
being willing, available and ready (WAR) to
serve others (and not ourselves) through:
and by Sharing
the biblical relationship principles
we have learned and practice.

How do you think this can help your marriage? Here's more encouragement.

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Mrs. Sidney said...

What an awesome post and much needed!! I know I have grown so much as a wife since reading your blogs.. thanks for sharing and encouraging yet again.