This is super cool. Corn Grilling Cage Grill corn to tender, smoky perfection—without it falling apart. Adjustable stainless steel cage holds up to four ears. Easy-to-turn 9" rosewood handle. Hand wash. 10" x 7". Only $19.95
Saturday, May 10, 2008
herb snippers...so smart
OK, I have to have these. Our garden is full of dill, basil, thyme, rosemary, chives, and some other sweet little things that these snippers would be fantastic to for.
Herb Snips Five-bladed scissors quickly and easily cut, chop or mince herbs to perfection and only $12.99.
father's day gift idea for the backyard chef
My garden guy hubs and both my sons in laws are great back yard chefs. I've been thinking about which guy makes the best salmon, steak, chicken or grilled veggies and have to say that it's a toss up and a three way tie. Wouldn't this platter and mug make a cute gift idea?
Labels:
Dads
i remember grandma leary's grilled corn
As a little girl, I loved going to Grandma Leary's summer cottage, out in the country side of Lancaster, PA. One of the things I loved most about those summer days was the home made ice cream and the corn on the cob that was grilled on the BBQ. What sweet little girl memories that I'd like to repeat with my grandkiddos.
As I do some summer fun planning, I thought these corn holders would be fun to use. I'd sure make a memory of the grandkiddos with these.
Friday, May 09, 2008
my journey ~ learning the wellspring listening principles
I started a mini-series on Coffee Talk Listening and am posting part two here.
Many communication courses teach skills that help you interact effectively with others. They teach you to how to articulate with clarity and confidence. Often communication courses teach the practical skills associated with speaking while hardly, if ever addressing the listening skills you need for affective communication.
It’s often said that communication is a two-way street: the speaker sends a message and the listener receives the message; however, “Coffee Talk” is not about learning to speak, it’s about learning to listen. And, if you’re a life coach, mentor, disciple-maker, mom, wife, or a friend, giving the gift of listening is just about the greatest gift you can give another person.
the benefits of learning to listen—well
Listening has a duel benefit; it benefits you and it benefits the one you are listening to. Listening excellently helps you become a wiser women of understanding.
Proverbs 16:21 says that the wise are known for their understanding. Proverbs 10: 31 says that the godly person gives wise advice that is helpful. Proverbs 13:14 says the advice of the wise is like a life-giving fountain. Without listening, how do you know what kind of advice to really give?
questions for your soul
Think of the last time you remember another woman actually listening to you. Take a moment and think how that made you feel.
What negative impact do you think “not listening” has on a person?
Why do you think people do not really listen?
On a scale of 1 – 10, (one being poor and ten being great) where would you rate yourself, and why?
...more on listening ~ tommorrow. part one is here.
Labels:
Listening
Thursday, May 08, 2008
silk ruffle neck dress with smocking price: $118.00 sleeveless dress with ruffle at the neck and smocked waist
church hoppers
Confessions of a Church Hopper
Written by Lynn H. Pryor This article is courtesy of HomeLife.
“My name is Murray and … well, I’m a church hopper.”
Applause broke out in the support group I lead for church hoppers. There are seven in my group … no, six. (One recently left us to join another hoppers’ support group.)I encouraged Murray to continue. “Tell us your story, Murray.”
“I used to go to First Church, but I really didn’t like the preacher’s style. He was getting a little too personal, you know? So I went to Lakeside.”
“The one by the lake?”
“Yeah, on the side. Anyway, I liked it at first, but the potluck dinners always had too much spice. Seemed a little Episcopalian. So I went to Grant Avenue Church, but I got tired of the way the pastor’s wife dressed.”
“I left that church because it was too cold,” Leonard interjected.
Lucinda said, “Funny, I left there because it was always too hot.”
Before Leonard and Lucinda got into their usual tirade over the proper reason to leave a church, I said, “Thank you, Leonard. Someone tell me what type of church hopper Murray is.”
Alice spoke up, albeit hesitantly, “He’s a ... Happy Hopper?”
“Now, wait a minute,” Murray protested.
“No, Murray, Alice is right,” I said, “She knows you’re a Happy Hopper because she is, too. Many of us are. We expect the church to make us happy. If something isn’t to our liking, we move on to the next church ... until something there doesn’t make us happy.”
Murray got a little defensive. “But shouldn’t I be happy at church?”
All eyes were on me. “We’ll come back to that. First, let’s review the other types of church hoppers. There’s the Hungry Hopper who says … what?”
“I’m not being fed.”
“Right. And there’s the Healthy Hopper who leaves a church because he thinks it’s dying. He wants to be a part of a growing church.”
“Aren’t we supposed to be part of a healthy, growing church?” Murray asked.
I skirted the question as I finished writing the church hopper types on the marker board.
“Each of these excuses for changing churches has a common problem. Do you see it?”
“It’s the ‘I,’ ” Alice said.
“Very good,” I said as I wrote the word self-centered on the board. “You’ll never be happy or content in any church so long as the focus is on what’s in it for you. To paraphrase John F. Kennedy, “Ask not what your church can do for you ...”
“But what you can do for your church,” the group chimed in.
“There will always be little things that irritate you at church because it’s made up of people,” I explained. “It’s like family — no, it is family — and families learn to live together with their quirks. God might want to use that person who bugs you to teach you patience or forgiveness.
“Now let’s move on to this thing about not being fed. Who’s supposed to be feeding you anyway? You are! If you only ate once a week, you’d starve. You must feed yourself — with daily Bible reading, study, and, of course, prayer. It makes an incredible difference if you pray before a worship service, asking God to speak to you, then expecting and listening for His voice. God speaks through even the driest sermon.
“No one wants to be in a dying church,” I continued. “Why don’t you stay in the church and change that? Maybe it’s dying because people keep leaving. A healthy church doesn’t just happen; its members continually seek Christ and change those things that need changing.
“Hebrews 10:25 tells us not to give up meeting together, but to encourage each other. Sure, you go to church for encouragement through worship and Bible study, but what are you doing to encourage others? Encouragement goes both ways.”
Murray and Leonard were getting fidgety, so I drew our meeting to a close. “Here’s your homework for the week. Ask yourself: How does God want to change me through the things I experience — good, bad, and just plain irritating — at church? What do I need to do to feed myself spiritually? How can I help my church grow?How can I encourage others in the church?”
Within minutes, the room cleared as the church hoppers disappeared into the night. Hopefully, their church hopping would, too.
Lynn H. Pryor and his wife, Mary, are happily involved in their local church.
Labels:
spiritual life
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
body-foods for busy people
What a super cool gift for anyone. Jane's book is a great guide to eat right with wholesome tips for physical and mental well being! She offers suggestions for life's most common troubles: hangovers to jet lag. Jane Clarke is Britain's most respected and trusted nutritionist and in Bodyfoods for Busy People she shares her wisdom with Americans.
From the back cover:
Jane Clarke is an exceptional nutritionist. She loves food and she’s a great cook . . ."
Jamie Oliver, food critic and host of Oliver’s Twist on the Food Network Juggling a healthy diet with a hectic schedule is never easy, which is exactly why Jane Clarke, Britain’s most respected and trusted nutritionist, has written Bodyfoods for Busy People.
Jane’s down-to-earth approach gets straight to the point, meaning less time absorbing complicated nutritional information and more time nourishing your body with the right foods.
--Over 100 simple, delicious recipes to satisfy your taste buds and fit in with a hectic lifestyle, including ideas for 10-minute emergency suppers and energy boosting snacks
--The healthiest ways to eat out in restaurants and fast food joints, along with mouthwatering travel snacks, lunches to maximize concentration, and late-night soothers
--Jane helps you treat many complaints, from headaches, hangovers, and fatigue, to poor complexions and weight problems
--Bring you entire body back to life with the BodyFoods 48-hour Home-spa Plan.
Sunday, May 04, 2008
what's "coffee talk"?
Part One of a New Series on "Coffee Talk"
“Coffee Talk” probably seems like an interesting name for a little book which is not about how to make a great latte’ but about learning the art of listening. As I was preparing to write this book, I kept thinking about a couple of girlfriends sitting at some sort of French looking outdoor café. This picture seemed to be a good metaphor to describe the enjoyable moments that women have with each other. I have had many of those moments, and I treasure them.
With this picture, I could catch a glimpse of these girlfriends sipping the most amazing espresso. Hmmm…can you smell it? I pictured them chatting away and catching up on everything and nothing. Isn’t that one of the things we love to do? Don’t we love to relax, drink coffee (or tea for you tea lovers) and just talk?
coffee talk – a metaphor of a journey of the heart
In using “Coffee Talk,” as a metaphor for a journey into the art of listening, I pictured another scene with this woman to woman connection. Perhaps you’ve observed a moment of tenderness when one woman’s hand reaches over to the others and tears flow. Perhaps you’ve had one of those moments and heard the hush when safety and grace create space for truth in the inward part to be expressed. Perhaps you’ve experienced the moment of now when your conversation went from the surface, fun chat to a deeper place where the cry of your feminine soul was heard, or the sound of your loneliness was revealed or your fear exposed?
“Coffee Talk” can be about “light fun chat” and it can be the “catching up” that girlfriends love to do but, it in the context of what we’ve grown to experience, it’s more than that. “Coffee Talk” is about the ‘now’ moment where a thirst is quenched, a heart heard, the gift of listening given.
the moment of now
I have been in conversations with girlfriends and I have missed giving the gift of listening. I have missed being attentive to the now because I was so focused on the next or on myself. I’ve missed what my girlfriends (or my daughters, or my husband) were really saying because I was too busy either thinking about what I wanted to say next or I was interpreting what I thought they were saying—wrongly as I was filtering the conversation through my own ideas. I was not listening with my heart and because of that ‘me-centered’ attitude of heart, I have missed many opportunities to weep with those that weep, quench a thirst, hear a fear, share a concern, get excited about a dream.
I believe that in every situation there are those now moments when a woman wants to ‘say more’ but because her friend has poor listening skills the heart of what she’s saying is missed. We miss those now moments when we don’t pause our thoughts about ourselves and get into the other person’s world. Those now moments have the possibility to offer the other person a precious opportunity to discover their own thirst for the first time in their life.
Many women (men too) live thirsty and needy lives without even knowing it. The desire for a thirst to be quenched lies deep below the surface level of the soul. Often, thirsty people go through life seeking to quench their thirst with stuff that does not satisfy, when what they really wanted and needed was for someone to take the time and hear their case. God’s heart is that you and I become thirst quenchers.
A thirst quencher is one who partners with Him, and listens with the heart to the inward parts of another heart.
When one woman actively listens with her heart to another heart – the reality of the thirst being actualized can then begin to be realized. It is not until the thirst in the feminine soul (and masculine soul) is realized and owned that true change can happen. Listening with the heart in the now moment gives that opportunity.
. . . more coming.
Labels:
Coffee Break,
Listening,
spiritual life
what are the obstacles facing victims and martyrs?
This post is the second part of this post. Originally, I found this post here. I find these two posts on victims and martyrs helpful on this road of life.
What are obstacles facing victims and martyrs?
A. Victims often:
Lack the knowledge that they are being taken advantage of by others.
Are so used to a certain way of being treated that they don't recognize it as unhealthy for them.
Lack healthy self-esteem or self-concepts.
Have little belief in themselves.
Come from high-stress families where their rights were never respected; therefore, they lack the competencies, skills, and abilities to stand up for their rights.
Lack information about assertive behavior and have no experience in using assertive behavior.
Lack of ``others'' in their lives who can point out alternative healthy solutions to their problems.
Are timid, scared, and suspicious of help being offered to them.
Are skeptical about someone really wanting to help them.
Victims often hold to some of the following irrational beliefs in their lives:
You must be nice to everyone, even if they are not nice to you.
Life is supposed to be filled with unhappiness and uncertainty.
The small guy never wins.
This is the way things are supposed to be.
There are winners and losers in all transactions between people.
My role in life is to be a loser.
Most people are basically selfish, mean, self-centered and disrespectful.
You should never complain.
Take it like a ``man'' (woman)!
Be silent with your feelings.
Victims often do not stand up for their rights because they suffer from the irrational fear of:
disapproval
rejection
conflict
taking a risk
the unknown
change
confrontation
being overwhelmed emotionally and physically
loss of self-respect
making a mistake.
B. Martyrs often:
Are so caught up in their problems that they convince themselves no solution is possible.
Know they are being abused but are so used to it they can't visualize life any differently.
Lack healthy self-esteem and self-concepts.
Lack belief in themselves or in others.
Had ``martyr'' role models in their families of origin and do not see their own behavior as maladaptive.
Lack knowledge of assertiveness and may be either extremely passive or overly aggressive with their antagonists.
Have exhausted all of their outlets of ``helpers''
Find ``helpers'' hesitant offer assistance; their resistance and ``yes-but'' statements are too much for the helpers to overcome.
Manipulate their helpers. At first they are cooperative, open, verbal, and apparently honest in their assessment of their problems. However, once an objective helper begins to point out the martyr's contribution to the problem, they feign newer, bigger, and more complex problems to keep the helper's focus off of them.
Martyrs often hold to some of the following irrational beliefs in their lives:
You must be nice to people no matter how they treat you.
Everyone needs me and they would be lost without me.
I am depended upon.
It is my role to keep everything together, no matter what price I have to pay.
This is the way things are supposed to be.
I can never win in the situation I am in, but I can't leave it.
I must find a way to pay back those who hurt me.
I never get angry; I just get revenge.
My behavior is healthy, OK, but misunderstood by others.
The louder I complain, the greater the chances of being heard.
Martyrs often do not take the action required to resolve their problems because they suffer from the irrational fear of:
letting go
taking a risk
feeling guilty
being blamed for the problem
being seen as the real problem
being ignored in the future
being happy, peaceful, or content
change
loss of approval
losing the person(s) who are taking advantage of or abusing them
Labels:
spiritual life
ten differences between being a martyr or a victim
I ran across this article on Victims or Martyrs about five years ago. I found this post here.
1. Martyrs are people who recognize they are being taken advantage of and choose to remain in the situation. Victims are people who are taken advantage of but are unaware of being treated as such. Once victims recognize that they are being treated unfairly, they have the choice of remaining in the situation or not. If they stay, they risk becoming martyrs.
2. Martyrs are those who recognize that their rights are ignored and abused but choose to remain in the situation and continue to be treated this way. Victims are individuals whose rights are ignored and abused but were unaware that they would be treated in this manner before they entered the situation.
3. Martyrs are people who let others know how unfairly they are being treated but choose to remain in this unfair position. Victims are people who let others know they have been treated unfairly. They have the chance to leave or change the situation in which they have been victimized. Victims often suffer silently for long periods of time before they are able to verbalize the unfairness of their life situations.
4. Martyrs often knowingly continue to enable or set up situations in which their rights are violated or ignored. This ``setting up'' is like a prediction or prophecy of failure into which, consciously or unconsciously, the martyrs play, fulfilling the prophecy. Victims often unknowingly set themselves up for continued abuse and violation of their rights. They are often confused and bewildered as to why this occurs. They lack insight into the actions that bring on this abuse.
5. Martyrs often seek sympathy for their plight. They seek support, advice, and help from others. Yet they seem stuck in their current course of action and seem to be unable to resolve it. Victims frequently never seek help. They are often frustrated and lost as to what needs to be done to get them out of their current situation. Once victims have been offered help and make a conscious choice to remain stuck in their situation, they become martyrs.
6. Martyrs frequently let the people whom they feel are taking advantage of them know how badly they are being treated. Martyrs often resort to badgering, nagging, scolding, threatening, belittling, antagonizing, and verbally putting down those whom they perceive to be taking advantage of them. Victims rarely let the people who are taking advantage of them know how they feel about this treatment.
7. Martyrs often believe it is their obligation to remain in their position in life. They would feel guilty if they let go of the current situation. They fear taking the risk to change the situation. They are apparently comfortable, habituated, or submissive to the situation and believe a change would be worse for them and for the others in their lives. Victims often want a change and are desperate for a solution to their situation. As soon as a victim gives in to a situation, choosing not to resolve or correct it, they become martyrs. The saying, ``If you are not part of the solution, you are part of the problem,'' applies to the martyr's state in life.
8. Martyrs have a story line which is stereotypical and habitual. They rarely change their tales of woe. One can meet them several years later and find them still suffering from the fate they were experiencing when you last talked to them. Victims experience their plight temporarily, get help, and are more apt to get out of the situation. If after getting help and changing, victims experience the same problems later, they could be martyrs at that time.
9. Martyrs often mask their behavior with an aura of willingness and desire for behavioral change in their lives. Usually they are only fooling themselves, since the others in their lives can see by their behavior and attitude that there is no possibility of change. Victims usually are open and honest about their discomfort and willingly seek behavioral change. Their sincerity is easily perceived by others due to the actions and behavioral changes that take place.
10. Martyrs are ``professional'' help seekers. They make the rounds of paid and volunteer helpers, advice givers, counselors, consultants, anyone willing to listen to their tale of woe. Unfortunately, they usually ignore the assistance, advice, or direction they are given. This frequently results in their ``helpers'' giving up on them in frustration and discouragement. Victims, on the other hand, seek help in a ``crisis'' only after the pressure of their problems becomes too great for them to bear. They are highly motivated for a ``change'' and are rewarding people to work with as they and their helpers witness the benefits of the help, advice, and direction given.
Labels:
spiritual life
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
