My heart is for every woman who longs to be married to be married. I fully understand the longing and I fully understand the growth process a woman must go through in order to be confident in WHO she is and learn to walk in that confidence. A few posts back I wrote another article for the Bride in Waiting. Today, I felt led to post a part two.
God opens the eyes in 3 ways . . .
1) that YOU ARE indeed a treasure to God (if he doesn't see this, then it's his problem...his blindness)
2) that God is giving YOU, HIS treasure to him (he may even see that you indeed are a treasure, but . . .
3) . . . the next step is the man's . . . the man then, must be the one to now receive this treasure.
In other words, once the first two revelations have been received, he must take that leadership step of faith (and initiation) to give voice to define the relationship.
To sum up, you (or any woman) must...
1) Understand that you are a delight, a treasure to God
2) Wait for God to open his eyes to see the truth that you indeed are a treasure, and also that God is saying to him, "I will share this treasure with you."
The tension lies in the reality that he may see the treasure you are, but, for a hundred different reasons, he may not see you as the one God is saying "This is the one."
Whether he does or does not, has nothing to do with the reality of who you are or what you do. This, is the tension of the "mystery" category.
Don't sell yourself short. . .
How do you sell herself short?
Again, this is in the mystery compartment and ought to stay there.
Listen to this Proverb:
Prov 30:18, 19: There are three things too wonderful for me to understand-no, four!
How an eagle glides through the sky. How a serpent crawls upon a rock.How a ship finds its way across the heaving ocean. The growth of love between a man and a girl. TLB
If this is a mystery to the writer of Scripture, I think it would be safe to keep this in the mystery category for all of us. This is holy and we just get into soul pain when we touch what is holy. We end up getting more confused when we try to figure out and control a mystery....
3) Wait for him to initiate, to lead - to define the relationship, to share his feelings toward you, to make clear his choice to move ahead in the relationship (phase two).
Whether or not he sees you as a treasure, or, he sees you as his treasure, does not determine the fact that you are a treasure to God - and God sees things as they really are.
You are not waiting for him to believe that you are a treasure. You must know this first...then, God can open his eyes.
If you don't know this, he will sense that you are too dependent on him as your "define-er" - and that will push him away - and rightly so, because a man wants a woman who makes God her "Define-er." My husband says that it's too much of a burden on a man to put that on him.
My husband says that the man will be thinking, "If I don't see her this way, as a treasure, she'll fall apart..."
My love can be shallow and I may not be able to look past some of my wife's faults and may reject her. But, even when I do, and she is hurt, but she doesn't fall apart. That's because she has built that altar with her and her Lord. She knows that she is a treasure because she heard that from her Lord (and He sees things clearly). So, she not only doesn't fall apart, but she can express her hurt to me with grace (feeling compassion for this poor blind husband).
So, the question that one ought to be asking in this situation is: "Father, what are you showing me to see, to do, and, what are You doing in this situation... teach me to wait on You."