Thursday, October 29, 2009

Unrealistic Expectations Hinder Good Listening

Did you know that unrealistic expectations hinder good listening? As women, we tend to live in the bubble of "unrealistic expectations" and unfortunately, we often subconsciously place them on our husbands. When we do, they no only hinder good listening, but they hinder intimacy - and all of us long for that connectedness at a deep level.

A few unrealistic exceptations are:
he should think like me,
he should feel like me,
he should act like me and
he should do it within the time frame that I think he should do it – whatever the “do it” might happen to be.

These expectations are unrealistic. They are an internal demand that he measure up. Ultimately they leave a husband, or anyone else feeling unloved, inadequate, cynical, apathetic, or ashamed.

So, what do you do with those unrealistic expectations?

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Donna said...

I tend to hold on to them, until someone (like you) reminds me that they ARE unrealistic! Thanks for the encouraging words - I always look forward to your posts!

Lylah Ledner said...

oh.....thanks Donna!

Rose Belle said...

I'm a talker so I would talk it out with my husband. Funny thing is, most of the time, when I hear my thoughts because I'm saying it out loud, I know I'm being unrealistic and selfish. I'm also a true believer in karma so I have to remind myself time and again to watch my actions and speech because I know karma will bite me right back.

Lylah Ledner said...

Rose Belle....that's so true with most of us women...I think we get going and then lack self-control and start spewing things we really don't mean and THEN make a real mess of things - all because we don't listen - we assume - and have a wall of unrealistic expectations.

Thanks girls for sharing.....xo lylah