Tuesday, September 02, 2008

steps to sexual intimacy

A few years back, I'd written a handbook for tweens and teens (girls) called Girl Friend School. Steps to Sexual Intimacy is an excerpt from Chapter Nine.

I'd like to give this e-book away to any woman who'd be willing to use it in the life of young girls. After you post a comment, email me at lylahl@aol.com with your email addy and I'll send it to you.

9 Sexual Intercourse. The marriage bed defiled—trust broken. Feeling used and dirty—yes, a girl will have these feelings because she’s sold her self short of God’s best for her.

8 “Experimental” nakedness. Shame upon sense of shame. How special is this—that on a girl’s wedding day—she’s already been known?

7 Petting while clothed. Petting? Touching in places that are to be discovered in the marriage bed—not in the back seat of a car.

6 Open-mouthed, passionate kissing. A new desire awakens. Oh, sure something awakens—did you know the word kiss in the Hebrew means to “light a fire?”

5 Kissing on the cheek ~ softly kissing on the lips. These are sweet, innocent signs of affection. But are they?

4 Hands on shoulders and hands on waist. A definite sign that romance is in the air. But, is it?

3 Holding hands. This is a nice sign of attachment. It says you like each other. Your relationship is growing. Is it really?

2 Talking with a guy. Remember to “stock up” for really comfortable and fascinating conversation. Do guys really like “talking” to girls? Guys are made to conquer.

1 Looking at a guy and making eye contact. A good sign he’s interested in you is that he smiles and look right back at ya babe. Oh, really? Is this flirting?

Adapted from Greg Johnson and Susie Shellenberger, What Hollywood Won’t Tell you About Sex, Love and Dating (Venture: Regal, 1994)

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Wanda said...

Excellent, Lylah!
I am a pastor's wife....high school teacher....and mom to 3 teens ( 2 of which are girls ).
This topic NEEDS to be discussed more and more with our girls & boys!
We have open discusssion in our home....and it's awesome to see your kids just broken over classmates making poor sexual choices.
Thanks for your passion to write about it.

Lylah said...

hi wanda - thanks so much for the compliment! i'd love SOMEONE to put this on a billboard!

may God bless your day as you speak into lives of young people and support your husband in his call! blessings...lylah

Jennie said...

Thank you! I work with 7th and 8th grade girls at church, and I know they are going much further than they did at this age 10 or 15 years ago. I do talk with them about this, but I would appreciate your eBook to increase the dialogue even more.

Mrs. Sidney said...

I wish someone would have given me this book when I was younger.

HIP_M0M said...


This is perfect for a class I'm teaching later this month. I'm teaching a class to parents, but on how to discuss sexual health and education to young people.

Thanks so much for posting this!

GrammaGrits said...

What a great resource for our teens at church. Thanks for such a timely topic!

Anonymous said...

I volunteer for the local pregnancy resource center. Part of my "work" is going out to speak to parents and teens about sexual integrity. It's so important for our youth to have a plan & understand how intimacy progresses. Thanks so much.