Friday, August 10, 2007

Honey. . . it's 20years, we have much to celebrate!

the sweet morning words from my michael. . .

when two worlds of independence, selfishness, and a sense of entitlement enter into another's, the potential for collision is - well, let's just say - very good. fortunately, it's a God-like collision and i've learned that if it's received as from His hands - the opportunity for character and growth and heavenly reward can - well, let's say - very good.

i've learned that marriage is a gift. i've also learned that when God brings blue and red together it makes purple. and, purple can be for royalty - kings and queens. i have learned that if i look at my husband as a king (which God says he is -because of his position) then i will learn how to walk and think as a queen (because i am)

i've learned that marriage isn't about me, getting my own way- it's about learning (among many things) how to respect michael - unconditionally - not because he's earned it - but because God's positioned him as my husband (Eph. 5:33) and because it's what God tells me i'm to do.
ya know, that word respect is an interesting one. i didn't have a clue what it meant till i looked it up. it means: adore, honor, look at exceedingly, prefer, value, have a high opinion of, show consideration for, esteem, reference, follow.

i'm growing up in showing my husband respect. the truth is, i modeled it horribly and i probably won the "tear down your house with your own hands - oh, foolish woman" award. i'm just being honest.

i've am learning to cultivate - in my heart - and bring to the forefront of my thinking ways to serve michael and to consider how to meet his needs. i'm learning that it must be for him and in a way that ministers to him and his needs - not particularly how i think it should be. i have all my own ideas of what i think he needs and how to do it....but i must cultivate the ways that are meaningful for him. and, i'll tell you....that's a daily work in progress.

i've also learned that michael is a mighty man in the making and that according to 1 cor. 11:9, i was made for him - not he for me (ok...he does REALLY NEED me :-) and i REALLY need him)...but God says that my role is to be there and to come along side him. some wives/moms serve their children and try to train their husbands. we train our children by showing respect and serving and caring for the needs of our husbands.

i've also learned that michael still has 'crud'' (me too) and when it happens to sling out at me...i can choose to react (knee-jerk) to it - the crud - (which will be out of my own sense of shame) or i can choose to respond (godly) with grace (that God always gives me - which by the way...grace is never given in the comfort zone - it's not needed there). i've learned that when i give grace to the crud and speak to his core....which is who he REALLY is - then i have the ability (while partnering with God) to call out the man (who he really is - my mighty man) and even be used by God to call him to his highest.

i've also learned that the language i use with michael - matters. i can be a support, lover, or, i can be a mother. the way i say something, the tone, my attitude matters. i can win him with my words or wound him. men are more senstive and tender than they let on. i've also learned that it doesn't work when i tell him what to do or how to do it. i need to ask questions like, "What about....or what do you think."
michael has taught me that 'ownership' is everything for a man. he's got to own it...if he's mothered he'll never change - he'll never feel the weight of responsibility and then he'll never be responsible.
michael's also taught me that how God deals with and speaks to a man is different than He does with women. michael is a student of God's word....he loves the scriptures and he is faithful in his spiritual disciplines - but i know that some men don't study the Bible as much, yet, put into practice the little they do know, and are many times far wiser in God's ways than us women that soak up God's word.
michael's taught me about love, giving, serving - and going for reward. he has loved me through song, flowers, making the bed, washing my car, getting gas, buying me sushi, making me coffee, going to Trader Joes (a lot), fathering our daughters, playing with our grandchildren. he's love me by praying for me when i'm sick, afraid, confused and under attack. he's gives me great advice, encourages me, accepts me and is quicker than me to forgive. michael likes me. he's patient with me. he eats anything i cook - never ever complains and he loves italian.
michael's taught me about sacrifice and dying and being the least (so he can be the greatest in the kingdom). michael has taught me God's ways. i like him.
i see God in my husband - his thoughts (he's a philospher/shepherd, musician) are so amazing. i wonder where they come from - they are so deep - it must be from God's throne.
i see God in him - when he plays and dances and sings and makes songs for the fabulous five. the little ones love to dance with Poppi. he will always STOP whatever it is he's doing to dance, jump on the bump (that's the trampolene) or go for a walk, or talk, or .......
hey, michael, my are the best thing for me. i thank God that i have you in my life. i love running the race with you. i love learning more of God's ways from watching you. you teach me much about our God by your tender love and grace for me. i don't want to do this life without you.'re the best. thanks for giving me the best, growingest, 20 years of life.

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The Youth Pastor's Fam said...

I love you both so much and am so thankful that God, in His Wisdom, gave you to me. Would never trade any amount of money or fame for anything other than the 2 best parents in the world. Candace