Tonight, I had the sweet privilege of reading a "night time" story to Simon, Jillian and Miriam. After tucking Jillian in with her fuzzy, purple blanket, I told her that she could use that on the plane to Spain. She, so gently told me she might miss me. I asked her what she "might" miss. She couldn't really think of anything, so I told her what I'd miss.
I'm going to miss walking to my bedroom at night - passing hers - and seeing an empty bed. I told her I was going to miss not being able to go in her room and stroke her hair while she was asleep. Well, that started some tender tears. She jumped out of her bed, went to her princess jewelry box and selected two gifts for me - a red, plastic heart bracelet and a flower bead necklace.
Well, my heart was touched. She hugged me. I hugged her and then she said in 20 blinks she'd be gone. She said, "a hug, a wave and a kiss and a blink and I'll be gone." She also told me that this was breaking her heart.
You know, ya just don't know how much influence we have on others. I hope it's enough to be missed.
I asked Jillian what she'd miss about Poppie. She said that he jumps on the trampoline with her. Then she said she'd miss my cooking. Wow - she's noticed.
Life is hard sometimes and the next four months are the changing point for me to begin to prepare to release - again. I sure don't like it - but I will go to my point of crucifixion. I'll do it for Jesus. I just pray that I do it well.
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