Thursday, July 13, 2006

on being a mom.....redemption is sweet...

Today, I am spending the last day in the home of my daughter Jenni. She and her sister live in Portland. As I write, I am thinking how utterly blessed I am. I am blessed and I am rich to have two amazing daughters - who mother my five grandchildren so sweetly. What I didn't give to them (and wish I had) as a mother - I see them give to their children.

What was IT - with so many women in my generation (the cultural mindset of liberation - the lies of what IT was all about anyway)? Why did so many women (somewhat) disconnect from the value of home and the precious gift of children? Indeed, we were liberated! Sure, we were liberated right out of what was God's best for us and into a bondage of regret. I think our sense of "liberation" had eyes and a heart that were everywhere but there (home andchildren). Our sights were set in every other place but in the place where we would have had growth and gain and character and joy. We had "career" in our minds and in the pursuit of - we - I missed so much. I missed so many little moments with two precious girls. I missed the tender touches - in pursuit of gain - out there - somewhere. I missed God's heart for the gift of who my daughters were. I missed the reality that what I modeled for them (thinking it didn't really matter or wouldn't really effect them) counted - everything.

But, today...I can rejoice. I can rejoice not in what I missed, but in the redemptive work of my Creator God. I can rejoice because He takes the years the locust has eaten and He restores. He gives back. I am thankful, that as a mom, I have the opportunity to fill in the places that I left blank. See, God turned my heart back to what home and children - as gifts are all about. And, in that turning, I get to give what I didn't. I get to pour in to the cup of big hearts (my daughters) and little hearts (my grandchildren) and watch it overflow.

How do I do that? First, the release of an amazing husband, Michael,who understands what home and the gift of children are all about. And,then - choosing to give of myself: time...connection...being there...changing a diaper, wiping a nose, giving a bottle, reading a book, giving a mommy a coffee break or a time out for sushi and a book. I get the blessing of seeing them value the gift of their children. I get to see them learn how to serve and model respect for their husbands. I get to see them spend homefront time to nurture and train their children. I get this - and much more - oh, how blessed I am - how rich I am. Such sweet redemption.

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