Wednesday, August 20, 2008

the centered woman - part 3

Wednesdays are my Centered Woman Day. I trust your learning a few things and perhaps being a bit challenged?

One of the questions I’m asked is, why are so many women today, un-centered?

The reasons vary. Sometimes it’s because they lack good role models in the home or in their community of faith. Other times, it’s because they bought into the cultural ideologies of the feminist movement and they’re trying to live out scriptural principles when in fact they aren’t and that’s confusing.

Another reason is that so many suffer from the repercussions of sexual abuse from violations as little girls. And, unfortunately, they aren’t in a safe place to recognize that denial and deadness aren’t really their friends but that truth is. Sometimes they ARE in that safe place, but choose to not let go of the deadness and denial because the pain to change is greater than the pain of staying the same. In the end, there is NO life in that. Who wants to get to the end of life with regret knowing they missed out on God and life and relationships that were meaningful?

I love the author Dan Allender and he describes the progression of child self-protection to adult deadness and the resulting need for repentance: When abused children grow up the psychological mechanisms they automatically employed in childhood to cope with…begin to become destructive patterns for which they must take moral responsibility. . .

The function of self protection must be seen in light of both dignity and depravity. …..honesty acknowledges that her adult adaptation of the child pattern is an outworking of her depravity and not her dignity. When, as an adult, she protects herself in relationships by tuning out, stiffening, detaching, or fleeing in connection between herself and another that deepens the potential for intense enjoyment (and thus vulnerability), she does more than assure her own survival. She sins against another and dismisses God’s right to use her as His instrument of love and grace in the world.

That's quite the heavey and convicting statement. When an un-centered woman stays self-protected, not allowing herself to be known and to know others and when she maintains her childhood mechanisms of self-protection, she impedes movement into relationships that are intimate and that is sin. She shuts herself off from God's right (aren't we His anyway?) to useher as an instrument of love and grace in the world. Phew.

Another characteristic of the un-centered woman is that she doesn’t understand God’s standard for marriage. She doesn’t understand Biblical submission nor does she have the attitude of respect toward authority and if she’s married – she runs her husband ragged – nagging, complaining, being contentious. She creates those spins I mentioned last time. She doesn’t know how to do her husband good all his days (Proverbs 31:11).

The un-centered woman doesn’t understand that having godly character will mean EVERYTHING in the END. She doesn’t understand that her character will be rewarded at the Judgment Seat.

This woman doesn’t live scripture. She might think she does but her fears and modus operandi impede her from fully living with the truth evident of sweet fruit. She’s bitter from the blows that life has dealt her.

So, your true thoughts here?

Until next Wednesday, I’ll have more encouragement with Who is the Centered Woman?

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Cant Hardly Wait said...

Can a centered woman be equally respected by her husband as she respects him? My husband and I are a team. WE are the authority. WE take care of the house and bank account. WE are equal in our marriage. Can I still be centered?

Lylah said...

Hi Georgette....GREAT question...i'll respond with a post here:

Mercedes said...

So, how do you become centered?

Lylah said...

it's's's coming.....(next wednesday)...hang in there...and read #1 # 2 # 3 and see where your heart is in light of got to see your uncentered-ness first! hard work, eh? :-) thanks for writing.

Lylah said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mrs. Sidney said...

I have a hard time with this sometimes because we live in a two income house and I need my husband to pick up the slack if I am working late. I still have some work to don ine myself as well bc sometimes I feel like we should be a team even though I know we are not equals.